Brothers and Sisters, aloha.
I am grateful to be here today and for the opportunity to speak to you, the students of this great institution. I am proud to say that I am a product of this great university. I spent three years at BYU-Hawaii before leaving for Provo campus because my major was not offered here.
If you were to visit me at my home, you will most likely find me in the kitchen baking or trying out a new recipe. All my friends know how much I love to bake and cook. So when they come to visit, they'd automatically seat themselves at the high chairs on the other side of my 12 ft. island and talk story with me. And they all know that if they stay long enough they will get to taste whatever comes out of the oven.
My kitchen is a wonderful place to talk story and so today I would like to invite all of you as if you were in my kitchen, talking story with me. The only difference is that I do all the talking and you do all the listening. Today the title of my talk is Pearls of Wisdom from Helen's Kitchen. Now it doesn't mean I am full of wisdom. It is just that with age, I have acquired many valuable life experiences from which I have gained some measure of wisdom that I would like to pass on to you.
While I was growing up in China and in Hong Kong, my studies exposed me to the teachings of Confucius. Confucius was a renowned scholar and teacher who lived in China around 500 B.C. His influence helped shape China's culture and traditions, much of which continues to be felt in Asia today. I like to call him the moral compass for China. Today I want to share with you one of his teachings as the first pearl of wisdom. Here is the translation:
When we have self discipline, there will be beauty in character.
When there is beauty in characters, there will be harmony in the home.
When there is harmony in the homes, there will be order in the nation.
When there is order in the nations, there will be peace in the world.
With all the conflicts in the world, is world peace possible? Confucius thought so and he broke it down for us quite simply by saying that all things are possible but it must begin with us. Each of us can exercise self-discipline to build harmony among family and friends. It is the little things we do each day that determine whether or not our homes are happy, our countries orderly, and our world peaceful.
For example, are we being considerate of our roommates when we come in at night when he or she is sleeping? Do we turn on the light and wake them up or do we carefully move around to get ourselves in bed without making a lot of noise. Do we think of others' needs before our own needs?
Whenever we are in a conflict we must ask ourselves these questions:
Am I the cause of this conflict?
Am I exercising self-discipline on my part to diminish this conflict?
Am I being Christ-like in my attitude toward others?
We cannot expect others to change but we ourselves can change to make things better for everyone. When we are willing to change for the better we are beginning to acquire self-discipline and self mastery. In Proverbs 25: 28 we learn that "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls."
As students on this campus, we have many opportunities to practice world peace because we are a mini united nation. A non-member friend of mine once asked, how is it that we have students from all over the world and yet we don't have as much conflict as he has found on his campus? The answer I had for him is that we have a common thread that binds us together and that is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
This brings me to the next pearl of wisdom that I learned in Hong Kong at the age of 12 when I was introduced to the Gospel of Jesus Christ by the LDS missionaries. They taught me the principle of love as taught by the Savior. A Pharisee, who is a lawyer, asked the Savior, "Master, which is the great commandment in the law?" The Savior answered: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets" (Matt 22:36-40).
Just before the Savior was crucified, He said to the apostles "A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another, as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all man know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another" (John 13:34-35).
Why is it so important that we love one another? I feel that if that is the last counsel given by the Savior to His apostle, then loving one another is His dying wish. In most cultures, a dying wish pulls a lot of weight. Now isn't the Savior's last wish very important then?
President Monson said: "Where love is, there is not disputation. Where love is, there is no contention. Where love is, there God will be also." Isn't that what we all want? To live in harmony with each other and have the spirit of God with us at all times? The Savior gave us the key and that key is as I have loved you, love one another. How has the Savior loved us? He loves us so much that He died for us. I believe that it is his pure love, his charity that enabled him to go through the suffering at the Garden of Gethsemane and gave himself to be hung on the cross so that we may be saved. How can we comprehend such great love? Well, someday when you become parents you will get a sense of the magnitude of that love. In the meantime, we need to practice loving one another here on this campus on a daily basis. Let me give you an example.
Years ago when my husband was a campus bishop, one of the sisters in the ward was getting married. Buthma was a beautiful young woman of Indian ancestry and she was engaged to one of the counselors in the bishopric -- Hari who is an Indian from Fiji. Buthma's mother had a beautiful Indian wedding dress made and sent it to her for her wedding. Unfortunately, it was not temple appropriate. On a Saturday afternoon, I received a phone call from Roxanne who was a member of the ward from Alaska. "Sister Goo, can I come over to see you in the next 15 minutes?" I said, "Sure, come over." Roxanne came over and I could see that she was excited about something. She said she was shopping at the swap meet when she saw this white dress made out of beautiful lace and she thought of Buthma and how she needed a wedding dress. She bought it and now she wanted me to add long sleeves to it to make it appropriate for the temple. And so we took out whatever lace fabric I had and we eventually made the sleeves and that dress looked really nice. When she presented it to Buthma, Buthma was so touched that she hugged Roxanne with tears of gratitude. Roxanne had tears of joy in her eyes as she felt that love they have for each other. Although this occurred over 25 years ago, it remains so vivid in my memory because the demonstration of love is everlasting.
Love is unselfish. Love is action. Just saying " I love you" does not make it love. In the book of John, the Savior made his points very clearly when he showed himself three times after his resurrection. John 21: 14-17 reads:
"So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, loves thou me more than these? He saith unto him, ye, Lord: thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him. Feed my lambs.
"He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, yes Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
He saith to him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, lovest thou me? And said unto him. Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus said unto him, Feed my sheep."
The Savior was asking Peter to prove his love by feeding his sheep. When was the last time we fed our friends or be fed by our friends? When was the last time we nurtured someone by sharing our time with them when they needed us to listen to their trials and sorrows? When was the last time we put someone's needs before our needs? In other words, when was the last time we made sacrifice for someone else? Do our actions match our verbal expressions of love?
Sometimes when I say my bedtime prayer, I usually feel pretty good about what I did for the day. I didn't break any commandments. I accomplished my goals for that day but I sometimes regret that I didn't show love as I should. I recalled that I said to my friend who was going through some hardship, "Call me if you need anything." That was not showing love to my friend. I should have said, "Come over to my house at noon today and I will make lunch for us and we can talk" or "Come over for dinner tonight" or "Would you like to go for a walk this evening?" Love manifests itself in actions. And in my case, I paid only lip service to my friend. With age I became a little wiser and now I just called up my friends and said, "I am bringing you dinner tonight." Then the rest of the day I just work around that commitment and when I delivered that dinner and spent time with my friend I began to understand how important it is to feed his sheep.
Pearl of Wisdom number three: treasure the time you have here and the friendships you make. At your young age many of you do not realize what a blessing it is for you to be on this campus. When we step on this campus we are stepping on holy ground. It is holy because it has been set aside and dedicated by the prophet of the Lord. This is a sacred place and we must treat it as such.
I am sure if I randomly asked some of you how you got here, you would have a great story to tell. It is especially true with many of the foreign students. Your journey here was not easy. The trips to the U.S. embassy were probably the most scary thing you had to go through. I am sure you recalled the many prayers and fasting you did to petition Heavenly Father to help you to get here. And how sweet it was when you got your visa to come. I believe your being here is not by luck or by coincidence. It is by the will of our Heavenly Father. Each of you are here at this time for great and noble purposes. The roommates you have, the classmates you have, the teachers you have and the ward members you have will play an important role in your future. The experiences here will have great impact in your lives.
Let me tell you what I mean by that. Brother Goo and I often have opportunities to visit with BYU-Hawaii alumni either when they come to our home to visit or when we are visiting in their home countries. It is always a joyous occasion to renew our acquaintances with them. And in most cases, they would tell us how amazing it is that it doesn't matter where they go in the world, they run into BYU-Hawaii alumni. One would be walking down the crowded street in MongKok in Hong Kong, or in Bangkok, Thailand and lock eyes with someone walking toward him and he knew that somewhere he has seen that person before but could not put his finger on where and when. And when he passed that person he would look back to meet the eyes of that person who is looking back also, after which both would stop and point at each other "BYU-Hawaii?"
They would shake hands, embrace and they would strike up a conversation. "What are you doing here?"
He replied "Oh, my company is sending me here for two years."
"Is your family coming?"
"Yes, they will come as soon as I find housing."
"Well, I will be happy to help you look for housing and in fact, come over to dinner at my house and let us see what we can do to help you."
And from there these two former BYU-Hawaii students renew their friendship and one became the mentor to the other. What a wonderful feeling of love and friendship.
In 1988, we were attending a mission presidents' seminar in Singapore. While checking in at the hotel counter, out of nowhere someone called out "Bishop Goo!" We looked up and there was Sunny, who had attended BYU-Hawaii. He happened to be one of the managers of this big hotel. Then a young lady came running up to greet us and it was Diana Lim. They both worked at the hotel. Well, within 10 minutes we got a key to the penthouse suite of the hotel instead of a regular room. I told my husband I am sure glad he worked at BYU-Hawaii.
Now I want to share an experience from Bishop Harry Brown. Bishop Brown is probably one of the longest serving bishops on campus. He served at the time when my husband was the stake president and so we became very close friends. Bishop and Sister Brown were people with big hearts. The students loved them so much that it was very difficult when he was released after five years as a campus bishop. Anyway, a year or so after Bishop Brown was released, he took his family to Utah on a business trip. Upon arrival he called one of his former ward members to let him know they were in town and would like to make arrangements to meet him. Bishop then went out to get some food and upon his return to the hotel room, he opened the door and there were 29 people in his hotel room. This student called another student and then the phone tree started and they all came to see their beloved bishop. Next April they are meeting in St. George and the students will come from all over to this reunion with the Browns. What a wonderful feeling of Ohana and the potential for networking for this group of students.
The impact of global economy will affect many of you here on this campus. A BYU-Hawaii graduate is not only armed with great academic learning but human relation skills compatible within an international setting. This is a small campus where you learn together, you worship together, you live together, play together and where you strive to be Christ-like together.
The friendships you make here will be lasting. The world seems smaller to you because you have friends from all over the world. Someday you will find yourselves in foreign lands but it will not be so strange to you because you know someone from there and you are bound together in love and friendship established here at BYU-Hawaii. Therefore, 'love one another as I have loved you' is not just for now but for the future when your paths will cross. Wherever you will be, you must extend love to one another because BYU-Hawaii students should never walk alone.
I testify to you that God lives and He loves each one of us. I know God is at the helm and all we have to do is to be faithful and true to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and they will direct our lives for good. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.