Thank you Christy. What she didn't tell you was that while my GPA may have been higher she was smarter because she could figure out when I was actually trying to ask her out. I was just fumbling through it and finally she realized, "Oh! Oh, we're going on a date! Oh good!" So I was grateful that she could figure me out.
"Dzau an". . .we'll try that one more time, "Dzau an!" Thank you.
President Wheelwright, thank you for your trust in giving me this opportunity to speak. Right now I'm a little more grateful for the trust than the opportunity but thank you. I am grateful for Patrick - for your prayer and inviting in the spirit, and Eric for that scripture that goes so well with what I'm going to say, and for Sister Farley for the music that made me hesitate to want to get up her because it reminds me of the standard that we're all trying to live up to - our Savior.
Before I begin, I desire to express my thanks for my parents - both my natural father and his German ancestry and my adopted Navajo father, each of whose names I bear, as well as for my mother and her British heritage, particularly my grandfather whose name I carry as a middle name. Much of the freedom I have enjoy to become whom I choose is because of choices they made to serve at home, at church, at war, or wherever they were. I am especially grateful for Christy's introduction. Someday I may be able to thank her appropriately for helping me become a much better person than I ever would have been with out her. I am truly grateful for each of you who are attentive today and especially for those who are smiling.
Aloha! In fall of 1978 I became a freshmen at BYU in Provo. It was the most fun I'd ever had in my life up to that time. In fact, it was more fun than I had had than in my entire life put together. I was 17 years old, 2000 miles away from home, with my brother in the room next door in the dorms. It was when BYU was just a small school of 20,000 students, I think, at the time. I went to dances, basketball games, we went on a road trip to Las Vegas - not to do any gambling but because my companion was having a missionary farewell, went on dates, I even dressing up as the Jolly Green Giant one time and my date was Sweet Pea, and I took a lot of social dance classes. It was great! Not only do you get to meet a lot of girls, but you get to hold them in your arms. As my nephew might say at this point, "Is that even legal?" I don't know.
Having so much fun was a big change for me. Before arriving at BYU, I was pretty shy. I wasn't very athletic. I was very much a bookworm and I lacked a bit of confidence. I had started to change a little bit while I was still at home, but it's hard to change at home when things always seem the same. When I got to the university, I changed and I changed quite a bit. I felt like I was coming out of my shell, exploring new things, becoming a unique and different person. Actually, studies show that "exploring" and becoming a new person are quite common college students. It's interesting to note that becoming unique is normal.
How are you changing and who are you becoming here at BYU Hawaii?
You already have a pretty good idea of who you are. In the recent General Conference, Brother Burgess of the Young Men General Presidency reminded us that we are children of God, that we have an identity in Heavenly Father's plan of happiness and in Jesus Christ's Church. Additionally, as you compare yourselves with each other - such a very different group of people we have here - you can see more clearly who you are in your own family and in your own culture. Since last Friday, many of us have watched the Olympics and we've seen how Beijing and Chine have been showing the world who they are becoming, especially in those magnificent opening ceremonies.
I have two purposes for our meeting today. First, to reset our sights on whom God expects everyone who attends BYU - Hawaii to become and just how that might happen; and second, to testify that a loving Heavenly Father has a plan to bless us abundantly, right here, right now. To help me, I will use a simple diagram as a tool borrowed from a man named Chickering, who studied identity and how we can choose who we become. Chickering recognized a person's identity is largely formed when we are small children, and people tend to change only slightly as they progress through life. As it says in the Old Testament, "train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." However, certain intense experiences have the power to shake loose our old identities and give us opportunity for significant change. Attending a university is one of those intense experiences. If any of you since coming to BYU - Hawaii have had such an intense experience that your identity has been so shaken up that you've lost it, just stop by our ID office where I work and we will print you out a new one.
This diagram suggests our sense of identity helps us develop our purpose in life, our integrity, and our ability to build healthy relationships with others. For instance, without a clear identity as a child of God we would not likely choose to make returning to Him and becoming like Him as our purpose in life. On the second point, integrity is often defined as being true to ourselves. The New Testament teaches, "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." It's very difficult to be true to yourself I you are unstable. It's hard to be "equally yoked" to someone if your sense of who you are is not clear. A person with a weak identity finds it difficult to "strengthen the feeble knees" or to "bear one another's burdens." A person certainly cannot become truly one with someone else if they are not yet one with themselves.
Let us now focus more specifically on whom Heavenly Father wants his children to become while attending BYU - Hawaii. While I do not have all the answers, I believe that if you ask in your heart, the Holy Ghost will share something with you of importance to you on this topic, no matter how the rest of the talk goes.
We are all familiar with President David O. McKay's teachings, displayed in the Aloha Center, of how "this school will produce leaders. . .whose influence will be felt for good toward the establishment of peace internationally"; women and "men who cannot be bought or sold . . . who scorn to violate truth - genuine gold." Using our diagram, we might consider what it takes to become someone whose purpose is to lead out in building God's kingdom wherever he takes us, whose integrity is genuine gold, whose relationships with people at home and community is that of a peacemaker.
President Wheelwright, in his inaugural address less than a year ago, reiterated that BYU - Hawaii will produce "leaders of integrity and character." He quoted President Hinckley who, speaking on this campus, said, "[The world needs young men and young women who are] not weak, but forgiving; not soft, but understanding; not arrogant, but respectful of the rights and feelings of others; not boastful, but thankful for the blessings of the Almighty; not selfish, but generous in giving of their abundance to the less fortunate; not drunk with power, but humble before God in whom they place their trust. These are the . . .qualities I challenge you to cultivate" (Gordon B. Hinckley, BYUH, 1969). I have a firm conviction that this is who our Lord wants us to be here at BYU - Hawaii: students, faculty, staff, spouses, even those who are here only for month or two. The Lord will confirm that conviction to our hearts if we ask. But how do we become that person?
Our diagram tool suggests our identity is based to a high degree on how we answer three questions:
1. Question one: What competencies do I have? That is, what am I good at and not so good at? When I arrived at BYU in Provo, I wasn't very good at social situations so I wasn't "popular." I wasn't good at sports so I wasn't athletic. I was good at school, so I was identified as a bookworm or as a "good student." What are you good at? How do you identify yourself along those lines?
2. Second Question: How do I manage emotions like sadness, frustration, or excitement? Am I a tough guy? A softy? Do I joke things off? Am I short tempered? Serious? Whatevahs? How do you handle your emotions?
3. Third, how autonomous or independent am I becoming? Can I get my way around Laie? Around campus? Around the island? And can I where I need to go when I need to get there? Do I now how to do research on the Internet? If I am struggling in school, do I know where I can get help? How self - reliant am I financially?
As you think about your own competencies, your own emotional responses, and your own autonomy, you may recognize elements of how you identify yourself. Keeping in mind who the Lord wants us BYU Hawaii types to become, let's relook at these questions: What competencies will help us become genuine gold? How can I handle my emotions to be a peacemaker? What must you be able to do for yourself to be a leader in building God's kingdom on earth? Joseph Smith, when asked why the saints are so well behaved, stated, "I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves." I will suggest three principles, scriptural principles; Joseph Smith taught that can help us become the peacemakers, the genuine gold prophesied.
The first set of scriptural principles, regarding competency, is a combination of two verses from the Doctrine and Covenants "I, the Lord, delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and truth," and "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated - and when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated." In other words, God gives us commandments so he can bless us. As King Benjamin taught "he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you."
In addition to the universal commandments, sometimes our loving Heavenly Father gives us individual or group commandments to bless us. Some such individual commands are found in patriarchal blessings. Many are found in the Doctrine and Covenants to individuals. They are sacred, but to give you an example, I feel I can share one from my own life. A few years ago, Sister Lucero and I were in a parking lot on Maui. I had just finished a work conference and she had come over for a day of relaxation and fun. Only at this moment we weren't having much fun. We were walking, but we weren't together, and weren't walking at the same speed, and we weren't smiling. We were pretty grumpy. In fact, I myself am a guy who approaches life in a general way. Sometimes I don't listen all that well or pay much attention to detail - I call it easy going. My wife on the other hand, has a great capacity and sometimes even passion for getting the details right - she calls it being thorough and detail oriented.
At this moment in the parking lot, I was generally frustrated, and she was thoroughly and specifically not very happy with me. Then I had a clear new thought. It was this: "giving heed to your wife's words will be good practice for giving heed to the Holy Ghost's promptings." Now that may not seem like much to you, but it was like a revelation to me. What I understood it to mean was if I started listening better, and responding quicker to my wife's more detailed and thorough way of doing things, without resistance or without needing to understand or agree, it would prepare me to better heed the promptings of the Holy Ghost, who often prompts us on very specific things, and who seldom gives a reason - it would also probably improve our relationship. I immediately strove to heed the counsel and we began to enjoy the rest of our trip. I testify that as I have followed that counsel, I have always been blessed.
What specific commands have we been given at BYU - Hawaii through inspired leaders to bless us? I suggest that the principles of student honor embodied in our Honor Code are tools to help the school as a whole stand as a light to the world, and to help each individual student receive additional blessings. These principles are approved by prophets and God will bless each one who obeys.
My own first experience with the Honor Code came as a student at BYU at my first dance. As I entered the Marriott Center, which is a lot like our Cannon Center only bigger, I was approached by an older student who told me my hair was too long. It wasn't supposed to touch the ear back then. She gave me two choices - she said you go and get it cut now and come back or you can come in now and attend the dance and visit with an Honor Code officer on Monday. So I gave her my name and student number, enjoyed the dance, got a hair cut on Saturday, and went and visited the Honor Code office on Monday. He said, "I see you've taken care of it." I said, "Yes, sir." "Will it happen again?" "No, sir." And it didn't.
Years later, I was in a meeting where Elder Eyring addressed BYU faculty. He noted the faculty and staff's responsibility to help the students abide by the Honor Code. As I recall, He promised that to the degree students kept their commitment to live by the Honor Code, including the dress and grooming standards, to that degree they would receive more of the Spirit's help in their studies. The example used was that a person who went to class with shorts that they knew were too short would receive less help, they wouldn't receive the extra help the would have received if they had obeyed. Why not? Not because they were wicked, not because God loved them less, but because each blessing is predicated upon a law or rule, and the only way to obtain certain blessings is by obedience to those certain rules.
Helaman's stripling warriors survived by faithfully obeying every word of command with exactness; Ammon gained the confidence of a king because he committed that "whatsoever thou desirest, which is right, that will I do," and he remembered all the kings commands and did them. With the Honor Code, the key to unlocking additional blessings is in the hands of each student. Learning to be competent in obeying each thing God and his servants asks us to do will help us become leaders He can trust - genuine gold.
Regarding how we handle our emotions, I would like to focus more specifically on how we handle ambiguity - the fuzzy gray areas where right and wrong are unclear - and where feelings of freedom, uncertainty, and confusion so often arise. The set of principles here is, "Bridle all your passions that ye may be filled with love," and "Prove all things, hold fast that which is good."
Another researcher, named Perry, concluded that most new students enter college with a pretty clear perception of what they think life is about. They see things very much as "right" or "wrong", "black" or "white" with very little gray area. They get most of their views from outside themselves - from parents, teachers, and, in our case, Church leaders. Some students often feel frustrated when things are not done "the right way." At BYU Hawaii they may show little tolerance for those who wear to short of shorts, who watch TV on Sunday, who have the other political views, or who question what the teacher says.
When I entered college, my list of "bad" or "wrong" things - in addition to all the evil things listed in the scriptures - included country music, raw fish, men wearing earrings, Communists, and just about anybody from California because I was from New York. Why were these things bad, or at least not so good? Because that was what my brother or my friend or my told me. Being in this stage of development is not necessarily bad. However, how we handle the strong and change emotions we feel at this time will shape who we become. On the positive side, having strong traditions we have when we get here, often gives us a firm foundation for future growth. Many in this stage of development arriving at BYU - Hawaii have a believing heart.
But most students don't stay in that stage. In college, students often want to run impulsively through the wide open green fields of freedom, wherever their passions may lead them, often not noting if there are rocks, or thorns, or centipedes. They try new foods, even raw fish, new habits - how many of you go to bed now at the same time you did when living at home? We all try new habits - we try new majors, we make new friends - even Communists or Californians - we try new boyfriends or girlfriends . . . every month, and these students even explore new ideas on art, government, and religion.
Much of this exploration is good; much - like staying up late - we do just because we can. However, in college new things hit so fast it is easy to lose sight of what we really know. All students begin to realize the teachers and administrators don't really know everything. They may question if anyone can really know what is "right" or "wrong"? Doesn't everything just depend on the circumstances? I have actually heard a few students at different points say "the prophet's words are good in general, but he doesn't know my specific situation so they don't apply to me."
In this stage where people feel the exhilaration of freedom as well as uncertainty, authority is questioned, so people can easily become their own authority, what the scriptures might call "a law unto themselves," interpreting rules for their own convenience. Rules, laws and commandments can become like the Pirate's Code - more like guidelines really. But again, it's not all bad. Many students in this stage develop the gifts of great knowledge, of generosity, and of an understanding heart. They open themselves up for further growth.
Eventually, students learn that to progress, they need to make some commitments. They finally figure out which type of music really gets them feeling good or calms them down. They determine which kinds of foods will actually help them live the lifestyle they want to live. They may even choose a general bedtime which allows them to go to class or church with out being a zombie or asleep. They commit to one major, a career path. To one dating partner, or even a spouse. Many of these commitments, the ones that really last, are made from within, not borrowed from without. However at the same time, they also choose outside experts and authorities whom they can really trust. As these students learn to bridle their impulses and passions, to "judge righteous judgment," to "prove all things, [and] hold fast that which is good," they become wise and competent leaders in building the kingdom of God.
The last set of principles to help us shape our identity is found in the two scriptures, "If any man lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him," and "the Lord . . . gave unto man that he should act for himself." Our university recently completed an extensive self - study of its own identity. I was encouraged to note that everyone across the board agreed that one of our main responsibilities on this campus is to help students become more independent. Many students arrive here still somewhat dependent on others. Aside from the obvious financial dependence you may have on family or the Church, it seems many students still depend too much on the teachers to pour knowledge into them rather than seeking learning on their own by study and also by faith. Some might rely on their parents' or leader's testimony of the gospel living on borrowed light.
This school will help you become more independent. Faculty, advisors, librarians, Honors Program, all will help you take charge of your own learning and set your own standards of excellence. Work supervisors and student leaders will give you every opportunity to get involved and develop your leadership. In an excellent June devotional, our last year's student body president Kaj Kelgreen told of one such student who barely had the confidence to get involved, and then became a student leader planning and implementing a blood drive - even dressing up in a suit of a blood drop, enthusiastically encouraging his fellow students to donate. That student has been reported to have then gone on a mission where he is using those skills to help build the kingdom of God and be a peacemaker.
However, more important than learning to be an independent thinker or learner, or becoming a leader of your peers is learning how to apply eternal principles and gain for yourself personal revelation. I recall one writing assignment I had while I was in college. It was a political science position paper. I had gotten to a point where I had writer's block; I couldn't get anywhere. I decided that I ought to pray and I did and a thought came to me: "Write as if you are writing in your journal." That's not the usual counsel for writing an analysis paper but I did and the ideas flowed. I finished the paper, went back and edited it, turned it in, and received a higher grade on that paper than I ever did in Sister Feste's class. This ability to gain our own witness, our own guidance from the Lord, may be critical to becoming leaders and peacemakers the world is hungering for.
There is actually one step beyond becoming independent, and that is becoming interdependent - where two or more independent people who can pretty much take care of themselves decide to work together to achieve more like partnering on a research project or business venture, or becoming a part of a well functioning team. I learned something about interdependence when I decided to ask someone to marry me. After dating for a year, I finally determined to ask young woman that I was courting if she would be my wife. I took the answer to the Lord in prayer. The answer was clear: "It will be good for you to ask her." I was overjoyed at first. Then I realized something was missing. The Lord didn't say that I was to marry her. In fact the Lord didn't even say whether she would or should say yes. I learned that marriage requires mutual consent of two independent people - a very valuable lesson for being a peacemaker in the home (and, yes, that was Sister Lucero).
In summary,>who are we becoming at BYU Hawaii, right here, right now? Leaders to build God's kingdom wherever he asks us to go. Men and women who can be trusted by both employers and employees, by both friends and competitors, and mostly by our families and our God - genuine gold; peacemakers who actively overcome differences to create harmony. How are we doing this? By learning to obey with exactness all God asks us to do and receiving the blessings; by proving all things and holding fast to that which is good, and bridling all our passions to be filled with love; and by learning to obtain and act on God's word for ourselves.
President Eyring at this school said ". . .On this campus we can only become what God has set for our destiny if. . .the light of the gospel infuses every part of the curriculum, every experience of student and teacher. This campus will produce. . .young people. . .who will create little enclaves of peace wherever they go...because this university will not depart - ever - from its foundation, which is the word, the word of the Gospel of Jesus Christ" (Henry B. Eyring, BYUH, 1990). What blessings lie in store? Joseph Smith taught, "The near man approaches perfection, the clearer are his views and the greater his enjoyments till he has over come the evils of his life and lost every desire for sin."
Let me close with my testimony, which takes us back to my first year at BYU. You see, while I changed quite a bit while there, some things I did not change like my study habits or my commitment to the gospel. So, in addition to having the most fun ever during that first year, I also received higher grades than I had in high school. I attribute that largely to my becoming competent in obeying the Honor Code and in keeping the Sabbath day holy. In fact, those were the best grades of my entire college career.
Of greater impact, President Spencer W. Kimball gave the first devotional that year. Before he even entered the Marriott Center, before I heard him speak, I received my own witness that this Church is led by prophets of God. Starting there, I've been able to receive a witness of every Church president since, as well as my current stake president, bishop, and even the current president of this university. It was also while a student at BYU in a simple prayer while I was preparing for my mission in my dorm room that I came to know for myself that Jesus Christ is indeed the Savior of the world and atoned for my sins.
I have a firm conviction that the Lord established this school through his latter - day prophets and church so that you and I can become peacemakers and leaders in His kingdom and more, to assist us in becoming even as He is. He has and will provide all the support we need to become all that - including special laws and special people that will lead us to blessings reserved for us - right here, and right now. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.