Brothers and sisters, it is so good to be with you here today.
For as long as I can remember, my life has been touched by the people of the Pacific Islands. My grandfather served his mission in New Zealand, my uncle and aunt served their missions in New Zealand (naming one of their children Kiwi), my brother and a cousin served their missions in New Zealand, and my father served his mission in New Zealand, returning later in life with my mother to serve as mission leaders for the New Zealand Auckland Mission. My father’s favorite set of scriptures were in the Māori language. Māori books adorned our bookshelves and paintings of Māori chiefs and Māori culture hung on the walls of our family home. My father spoke fluent Māori his entire life while sitting horseback in wrangler jeans, boots and spurs, and a cowboy hat. My three brothers and I truly believe that our dad had a Māori spirit that dwelled in his cowboy body.
My grandfather, Wendell Bird Mendenhall, was Chairman of the Church Building Committee and Chairman of the Pacific Board of Education, which served the needs of the Church in the South Pacific. He was able to bring about the completion of many Church work-projects, foremost being BYU–Hawaii and the Polynesian Cultural Center. [1]
One summer, my grandfather was scheduled to attend a series of meetings related to the advancement of the Polynesian Cultural Center, and he invited me and my cousin Buck, both in elementary school at the time, to join him. And yes, that means Grandpa Wendell would be traveling to Hawaii with his grandsons Buck and Bronco. Upon our arrival in Laie, my cousin and I witnessed my grandfather’s love for the Polynesian people, this community, BYU–Hawaii, the Polynesian Cultural Center, and, most importantly, his faith. That trip and those experiences have shaped my life forever.
At the end of my grandfather’s life, each of his children and grandchildren were presented with an original copy of Grandpa Wendell’s testimony. It is one of my most cherished possessions and provides an anchor to my faith. Within his beautiful testimony, one particular line has special significance to me. This line reads: “I have never felt there was any security for me or my family outside the body of the Church.”
In his talk titled, “To Whom Shall We Go,” M. Russell Ballard says, “One of the most heart-wrenching stories in scripture occurred when ‘many of [the Lord’s] disciples’ found it hard to accept His teachings and doctrine, and they ‘went back, and walked no more with him.’ As these disciples left, Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, ‘Will ye also go away?’ Peter responded: ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life. And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.’ In that moment, when others focused on what they could not accept, the Apostles chose to focus on what they did believe and know, and as a result, they remained with Christ.” [2]
I believe each of us here today was sent to this earth to make choices that have eternal ramifications, and I know of no choice more important than that of choosing to walk with and remain with our Savior Jesus Christ.
My life has been devoted to the teaching and development of young men through the game of college football. A critical element necessary to the development and growth of all of us are the periodic tests which occur in our lives. In scripture, these tests are referred to as “proving.” Abraham 3:25 states: “And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.” [3]
My remarks today will address the cycle of responses I have frequently witnessed in relation to the proving that occurs in our lives. My sincere hope is that we can anticipate and be more prepared for our life’s provings. I call this cycle of responses “The Proving Pattern,” and I have identified six steps:
1. The Test.
2. A Faith Inventory.
3. The Application of Faith.
4. Waiting.
5. Surrendering the Outcome.
6. Moving Forward with Faith.
Step number one is The Test. Elder David A. Bednar has said: “Periodic tests absolutely are essential to learning. An effective test helps us to compare what we need to know with what we actually know about a specific subject; it also provides a standard against which we can evaluate our learning and development.” [4] At the University of Virginia, I chose to “prove [my players] herewith” through an event called “The Interview.” Interviews were conducted during the winter months of our training cycle and provided the earliest indicators as to the composition of the next year's team. Unlike a typical interview, these interviews were not held in an office and used very few words. The primary intent of each interview was to determine the current capacity and commitment of each team member.
On a typical day, our team would arrive well before sunrise to dress, fuel, and focus for another day of training. Each morning's session started precisely on time with a blast from the air horn. The team would run from our locker room into the weight room to be welcomed by our strength and conditioning staff. The head strength coach would share his message of the day, and then, with great anticipation, he would slowly and ceremoniously reach for a football helmet that held the names of each team member. Dramatically, he would reach deep into the helmet and draw out three small pieces of paper. In his best and loudest “prize winner announcer voice,” he would read each of the three names aloud in front of the team. The team would erupt, cheering loudly and widely for those chosen. Then, one by one, each of the three players selected would rush back to the locker room, put on their cleats, and run to meet their head coach in the indoor training facility. The remainder of the team, whose names were not read, went forward with their routine workouts of the day.
As the three players arrived in the indoor facility to be interviewed, excitement and anticipation were always present. Each interview consisted of incredibly difficult challenges. These tests might include 300 yards of weighted sled pushes, 100 yards of tug-of-war wooden sled pulls, 200 yards of tractor tire flips, 100 repetitions of 50-pound weighted ball throws over the goal post, burpee box jumps onto a three foot box, weighted farmer’s walks, etc. Or, in BYU’s version, under the name Cougar Challenge, the challenge might consist of a one mile swim, a weighted pack hike to the Y, climbing each stadium step of LaVell Edwards Stadium, 40 miles on a mountain bike up Provo Canyon and then an ascent to the summit of the Sundance Ski Resort all in the same day.
Each initiative had to be completed exactly as instructed to qualify to move onto the next initiative. When all initiatives were completed to standard, the clock would stop and each individual's time would be recorded and then posted.
Frequently, the rest of the team, who had not been interviewed, would have completed their workouts, showered, eaten breakfast, and would be leaving for class when those being interviewed would be returning to the locker room. Frequently, the question asked was, “How was it?” The typical response was “Tough … but good.” Just like life.
Step number two is a Faith Inventory. Significant proving frequently leads to significant questions. The most important of which is “To whom do we turn to find relief?”
My mother and father served as mission leaders for the New Zealand Auckland Mission. Prior to their serving, they met with President Thomas S. Monson, who gave them specific instructions “to lift the people up.” While serving as mission president, my father started to experience significant headaches and occasional dizziness which warranted a medical examination. After being examined by the doctors, an early diagnosis of a brain tumor was relayed. The doctor immediately cautioned my father to move gently, slowly, and quietly, and to always keep his head very still until the results were more conclusive. When my father heard the instructions, he immediately started to shake his head furiously back and forth while saying simultaneously that “President Monson promised me protection while I am serving.”
When my father’s faith inventory occurred, he was not found wanting—his symptoms dissipated, his diagnosis changed, and he served vigorously and faithfully to the end of his assignment.
Sister Lisa L. Harkness said, “Even in turbulent times, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is gritty and resilient. It helps us sift through unimportant distractions. It encourages us to keep moving along the covenant path. Faith pushes through discouragement and allows us to face the future with resolve and squared shoulders.” [5]
Step number three is the Application of Faith. It is through the application of our faith that our futures are forged. We are invited to yoke ourselves to our Savior Jesus Christ to partner in His work. President Camille N. Johnson said, “That the yoke is easy and the burden is light presumes we get in the yoke with the Savior, that we share our burdens with Him, that we let Him lift our load. That means entering into a covenant relationship with God and keeping that covenant, which, as President Nelson has explained, ‘makes everything about life easier.’ He said, ‘Yoking yourself with the Savior means you have access to His strength and redeeming power.” [6]
A few weeks ago, as my wife Holly was preparing a Sunday School lesson, she began researching the qualities and composition of a yoke. One of the most powerful discoveries for her was that each yoke was built specifically to fit the animal that was to use it. In other words, Jesus Christ has a yoke ready for each one of us. It was made specifically and only for us. It has been shaped with love and forged with sacrifice in hopes that we will step into it and become joint heirs with Christ.
Step number four is Waiting for Divine Guidance and Help. When I think of waiting, my thoughts are drawn to the pools of Bethesda. It was there that Jesus healed a man who had been an invalid for 38 years. I picture this man lying at the water's edge, day after day, month after month, and year after year, gazing intently, hopefully, and desperately into the pool, watching for the water to bubble so that he could enter first and be healed. Sometimes we experience pain, sorrow, and suffering to the point that our patience wanes, our thoughts become distorted, and our faith falters. Out of desperation, we shift our focus away from Christ, his gospel and his restored Church to other sources who advertise their latest version of bubbling water and healing in a newer and more exciting way. Yet, the pool did not, nor could not heal the man after 38 years. Only our Savior Jesus Christ could, and He did. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said: “I learned that patience was far more than simply waiting for something to happen—patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn't appear instantly or without effort. There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience . . . means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!” [7]
President Eyring said, "The Lord’s delays often seem long; some last a lifetime. But they are always calculated to bless. There need never be times of loneliness or sorrow or impatience." [8] Waiting can bring us to our knees, yet what better place to be for us to communicate with our Father in Heaven?
Step number five is Surrendering the Outcome. There have been times throughout my coaching career when I have sat alone in a visitor’s locker room after an unsuccessful football game in reflection and solitude. Interestingly, throughout my coaching career I found myself feeling closer to God in losses than in wins. I believe our Father in Heaven has expressed His love for me most and deepest as I have walked through affliction and proving. In these isolated and solitary moments, I have felt a magnitude of peace and assurance that I have rarely felt in success. Through my setbacks, I have learned that my Father in Heaven is indeed mindful of me. Psalms 46:10 tells us to, “Be still, and know that I am God.” [9] My life’s provings have helped me utter and be encouraged by the following phrases:
1. “Thy will be done...” [10]
2. “But if not...” [11]
3. “Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted." [12]
4. “Yet will I trust in Him...” [13]
Each of these phrases mark a new and enhanced beginning to increasing our faith, our understanding, and our testimonies. Therefore, I have come to believe that being proved can be a privilege.
Step number six is Moving Forward With Faith. I encourage each of you to apply the faith you have. Choose to enter into the yoke our Savior has made just for you. Fix your gaze straight ahead. Align yourself on the covenant path and start pulling. Pull with whatever strength you can muster! Purposefully and intentionally just place one foot in front of the other and move forward. Your pace is your pace. The pace of others is not relevant. Our Savior knows you! He loves you! And through your personal partnership, yoked at His side, He will lead you, guide you, and direct you as you travel with all your heart, might, mind and strength along the path that leads back to Him. Elder Uchtdorf said, “When the Apostles recognized the risen Christ—when they experienced the glorious Resurrection of their beloved Savior—they became different men. Nothing could keep them from fulfilling their mission. They accepted with courage and determination the torture, humiliation, and even death that would come to them because of their testimony. They were not deterred from praising and serving their Lord. They changed the lives of people everywhere. They changed the world. … [They became] fearless, joyful emissaries of the Master.” [14]
As my grandfather Wendell B. Mendenhall stated, “I have never felt there was any security for me or my family outside the body of the Church.” I echo my grandfather’s words to each of you that “Other refuge have we none.” [15] I pray that we will faithfully and joyfully prepare for life’s provings by anticipating and preparing our personal responses to the “proving patterns of life,” whose answers are only found in membership of Christ’s restored Church and through His gospel.
Notes:
[1] R. Forester, “The Polynesian Cultural Center: The Realization Gone Far Beyond the Dream, No. 07 Mormon Pacific Historical Society, March 1986, 60.
[2] M. Russell Ballard, “To Whom Shall We Go,” Liahona, October 2016, 90.
[3] Abraham 3:25
[4] David A. Bednar, “We Will Prove Them Herewith,” Liahona, October 2020, 8.
[5] Lisa L. Harkness, “Peace, Be Still,” Liahona, October 2020, 81.
[6] Camille N. Johnson, “Jesus Christ is Relief,” Liahona, April 2023, 82.
[7] Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Continue in Patience,” Liahona, April 2010, 57.
[8] Henry B. Eyring , “Where Is the Pavilion?” Liahona, October 2012, 74.
[9] Psalms 46:10
[10] 3 Nephi 13:10
[11] Daniel 3:18
[12] 2 Nephi 4:19
[13] Job 13:15
[14] Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Grateful in Any Circumstances,” Liahona, April 2013, 76.
[15] “Jesus, Lover of My Soul,” Hymns, no. 102