This Friday, the United States of America celebrates 232 years of Independence. Independence is a celebration not only for Americans, but for all of us here at BYU-Hawaii no matter from what land we may come. For this Liberty made possible the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ that will bless the entire earth. We here today are benefactors of that Divine Plan.
Although divinely foreseen, independence and liberty required men and women with courage and faith to seize upon the opportunity. They sacrificed all: homes, family, lives, and fortunes for the sacred rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. They suffered greatly, but did not shrink from the cause. Neither did the Prophet Joseph Smith from his foreordained mission of restoration.
Jesus Christ has made us free by his redemption, and we may choose for ourselves good or evil, light or darkness, liberty or enslavement. Life is filled with "Divine tutorials" some small and others powerful in their effects. Each tutorial is designed for our benefit and shapes our character. If we endure these tutorials well, they will sanctify us. But it requires our hearts and souls.
Two experiences stand preeminent in my life as critical moments of shaping. They are sacred to me, but I feel impressed to share a portion with you today. I do this humbly, not intending to boast of myself, but to testify of our Savior's love and desire to bless us.
As I share with you parts of two of these experiences, I invite you to ponder the following five truths. Truth # 1: The Lord's purpose is to exalt us. We are his work and his glory. He is the Master sculpture whose hands shape and mold our mortal clay. If we are soft and submissive to the touch of his divine hand, he will form us into exalted shapes.
Truth # 2: The Lord shapes us by experience and response. Experience is given for our growth. What matters is not what we experience, but how we respond to experience. Bitterness, distrust, and self-defeating behaviors harden us. Faith, humility, and submissiveness keep our clay soft and malleable.
Truth # 3: Shaping requires our personal and intimate participation. Token gifts and vicarious sacrifices have not the power to shape our character anymore than the Law of Moses with its blood sacrifices and burnt offerings had the power to redeem Israel. Exaltation requires the sacrifice of our hearts and souls. The Savior's words to the Nephites after his resurrection are instructive: "And ye shall offer up unto me no more the shedding of blood, yea, your sacrifices and your burnt offerings shall be done away, and ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit." (3 Nephi 9:19-20)
Truth # 4: Covenants are stepping stones to exaltation. Covenants made with our Heavenly Father help us endure the shaping process. It is in the making and keeping of covenants that we sanctify ourselves, and qualify to be in the presence of our Heavenly Parents and receive promised blessings. The conditions of such covenants are not always easy to fulfill. They are sometimes painful, and oft times involve a timetable that goes beyond our own.
The Last Truth: Faith in Jesus Christ and the power of His Atonement is essential for exaltation. Without faith in Jesus Christ, we cannot draw upon the power of the Atonement, nor be healed from the sorrows, the pains, and the mistakes that are a necessary part of the mortal experience. Jesus invited us to rely upon him: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (St. Matthew 11:28)
The yoke of which the Savior speaks is the covenant of the Atonement. When we yoke ourselves to the Savior with covenants, and strive to keep them diligently, we become better people. The Savior's love abounds in us when we honor the covenants that we have made, and the burdens of life are bearable as we exercise true faith in His redeeming love for us.
The first experience I share with you came in the spring and summer of 1972 when I was a young father. The second came 24 years later when I was an old father and a young grandfather.
At Easter in 1972, the Vietnam war was ending when it suddenly exploded in renewed violence by the devastating attack of North Vietnam against the South. At the time I was a Marine 1st Lieutenant stationed in California at Camp Pendelton, and was suddenly and unexpectedly sent to Vietnam to help direct heavy weapons for the South Vietnamese defense. Sister Biddulph and I had less than an hour to see each other before I left. She was at the time 6-months pregnant with our third child, and we had two little boys: one and three in age. I remember how our eyes locked one last time as the truck drove away to the airport. We did not know if we would see each other again in this life.
My first night in Saigon- now Ho Chi Minh City- was a troubling experience. I was beset upon by a dark spirit that pressed upon me with such power as to prevent me from sleep and fill me with remorse, fear, and despair. In that dark state, I searched my Patriarchal Blessing, which I had fortunately thought to bring with me, pleading with the Lord to give me comfort and courage to face what lay ahead. After a long period of struggling in the spirit, the Holy Ghost suddenly descended upon me, soothing me from head to toe. Despair fled into the night and I was left with a deep calmness, as if the Lord said to me: "Be still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10, D&C 101:16)
I was assigned to a Battalion of South Vietnamese Marines. For several weeks we made suicide attacks behind North Vietnamese front lines to break their line of defense and disrupt their ability to prosecute the war. The evening before our first mission, the Battalion Commander invited me and another US officer to dine with him and his staff. They served tall, cool glasses of Vietnamese beer at the meal. It was very hot and humid; I yearned for a cool drink instead of the hot canteen water. Yet, I knew that I could not drink the beer because I had made a promise, called the Word of Wisdom, to avoid such substances.
During the meal, the US officer challenged me to drink the beer so that the Vietnamese would know that I was a "real Marine." Real Marines could hold their beer. It was not an easy or flippant decision for me to make because I valued my reputation as a Marine, and I wanted the confidence of the Vietnamese. I knew that we would need to depend upon each other in the days to come. Respect was paramount.
But I knew that tomorrow and days in the future I would need the help of the Lord, and how could I ask for His help if I had ignored His counsel in better times? "I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say, but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise." (D&C 82:10) My need for trust in the Lord was greater than my need for trust in the arm of flesh.
The next morning we made our heliborne assault and for 9 days were in heavy combat against North Vietnamese forces. After a few days, I became very ill with a high fever, headache and dizziness. I lost my appetite and became weak in the intense heat and humidity.
One night, the captain came to our foxhole and told us that we were leaving early in the morning for an all-day forced march back to a bivouac site to prepare for another mission. I could hardly stand, let alone hike in full combat gear. I went to sleep that night in my foxhole knowing that I needed a miracle from the Lord to be able to make that forced march in the morning.
I awoke at 4 a.m. drenched in sweat. My fever had broken during the night and the pain and dizziness were gone. Despite my weakness, I was able to make the 12 hour forced march. I knew without a doubt that the Lord had kept his promises to me because I had kept my promise: "All those who keep these saying... shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones; and shall find wisdom and treasures of knowledge; and shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint. And I the Lord give unto them a promise that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them" (D&C 89:18-21).
Two days later, we made another suicide attack. This one was worse than the first. We landed in the midst of a large enemy force out numbering us 5:1. We took heavy casualties during the assault and were surrounded for 3 days behind enemy lines desperately holding out for friendly forces to fight their way to our rescue.
Within the first five minutes of our landing, I was shot through both legs, and many others were killed or seriously wounded. Our medical officer was killed and medical supplies destroyed in the crash of one of the helicopters. Our situation was precarious and getting worse by the day. Rescue had to come soon if we were to survive.
The afternoon of the third day, an enemy tank suddenly fired upon the grass hut in which I was resting. The first round exploded short of the hut throwing shrapnel into the rafters and thatched roof. Everyone in the vicinity fled or took cover. I struggled to a small sandbag wall about 2 feet high and lay down behind it, pulling my helmet down over my face and wrapping my flack jacket tight around my body.
The second round just missed the roof and struck the haystack on the far side of the hut. At that moment, two truths were manifest to me with spiritual power: The next round would hit the hut and I would not survive a direct hit. It was the Spirit's way of saying, "Okay, the next round is coming and it's going to kill you. What are you going to do about it? And you had better hurry." I felt completely helpless. There was nothing I could do... except pray.
And that is exactly what I did. I spoke with Heavenly Father as if He were lying right next to me. In those moments of prayer, I felt no fear of death, not even violent, painful death. I had a perfect faith that if my body were destroyed, my spirit would yet live. In fact, I saw it happening in my mind, and I felt no terror. But I was filled with a yearning to live. More than anything I have ever desired, I wanted to live. I wasn't ready to leave mortality yet. I told Heavenly Father that I wanted to live to be a father to those boys and a husband to my wife. I promised Heavenly Father that if life was granted to me, I would be the best father and husband I could be.
I waited breathless for the answer. The third round did not come... not for a couple of hours and by then, I had been miraculously rescued by helicopters out of harm's way. According to a friend who witnessed the fulfillment of my spiritual premonition, when the third round came, it came suddenly and turned the house into an inferno.
So why did the Lord honor my promise and not others? There are no answers for such a question. Questions of why are not the right ones to ask. Better questions are how and what: How can I use this experience to become a better person? What can I learn from this experience to help me and others? Since that promise made 36 years ago, I have tried-imperfectly-to honor the covenant made behind a sandbag wall in Quang Tri, Vietnam.
The second experience: In the spring of 1996, our son, Greg, returned from a mission in London South. Five of his best friends also returned at about the same time from their missions. They were choice young men who had lived righteous lives and had served their Lord faithfully. To celebrate the completion of their missions and their enduring friendship, Five of them, including our son, spend a weekend at Bear Lake in Utah prior to going off to school. On their way home from Bear Lake, they were involved in a roll-over accident killing 3 of the boys and injuring two critically.
Sister Biddulph and I were in Los Angeles, California for business meetings when we received the news from our bishop in Utah. Ironically, the only two boys not clearly identified were our son, Greg, and his best friend, R.J. One of them was dead and the other near dead. The Highway Patrol had tentatively identified Greg as being deceased and R.J. critically injured. I could not hope for our son's life over that of R.J.'s because we loved R.J. like a son, and his parents were our close friends.
The two-hour flight back to Salt Lake City was reflective for both of us as we were each separately locked into our private thoughts and emotions as the jet engines pushed us toward whatever fate had dealt us. As it had been behind the sandbag wall in Vietnam, prayer came instinctively. I silently poured out my concerns to my Heavenly Father in prayer. But the Lord did not reveal to me whether our son was dead or alive. Rather, remarkable questions came to my mind in answer to my pleadings:
The first question that came was: "If I have taken your son, will you be angry with me?" I could not be angry with the Lord. I had promised to sacrifice all things. But Greg had been gone from us for 2 years and we looked to his future. We had so many hopes for him; for college, marriage, and children. Death took all of that away.
A second question came in response: "If your son is dead, as you say, do you believe that he will live again?" Yes. I knew that if he was dead that his spirit would live, and that he would be resurrected. I knew that as clearly as I had known I would live if the tank round had taken my life in Vietnam. But it was a hard thing to lose a child in death; perhaps more than I could bear.
A final question came: "I gave you my Son. Will you not give me yours?" And I knew that I would give to God whatever He asked, even my son. For I had made covenants to sacrifice and consecrate all to the Father, and Sister Biddulph and I had made the decision long before to always faithfully give to the Lord what He asked of us. "God so loved the world that he gave his Only Begotten Son, that whosoever would believe on him, the same would have eternal life." (John 3:16)
It was done then, I concluded. Greg was dead. Now, it was for us to willingly give him to the Lord. We decided that we would bury Greg in the East Lawn Cemetery on the east bench of the Wasatch Mountains in Provo, next to his grandfather. It was a beautiful, peaceful spot, overlooking Utah Valley and Utah Lake. We had two lots there, meant for Elaine and me. We had not anticipated its use for a child.
However, when we arrived in Salt Lake City we discovered that it was R.J. who had been killed and Greg was already undergoing 11 hours of surgery to try and save his life. One does not feel joy or relief in those circumstances, only a change of venue. We now focused our prayers for our son's survival and for the parents and families of the other boys who died or were injured.
The two surviving boys, Greg and Mike, were unconscious for days and while they slept, we attended funerals and buried their three best friends. When they awoke, everything in their lives had changed drastically. But neither of them ever questioned the Lord or became despondent. They accepted the accident with complete faith in the Resurrection, despite the deep, personal loss. God mercifully filled the void with eternal companions and children.
Elder Glenn Pace made this wise observation about the hard experiences of life: "Curse not the crucible into which you have been dipped. It is Divine and will ultimately sanctify you."
The temple embodies the solemn covenants and obligations we make with God. They are designed to anchor us amidst the storms of life. The trials of our lives are designed to make us fit for the Kingdom of God. It is not an easy thing to make a God out of a man. It takes faith, repentance, making and keeping holy covenants, and faithful endurance to the end.
God's purpose is to exalt you and me, and He shapes us by experience and response to experience. This shaping requires our personal and intimate participation. Covenants help us endure the shaping process by anchoring our souls to Jesus Christ. Faith in Jesus Christ and the power of His Atonement is essential for exaltation.
I encourage you to turn toward the Lord and come unto him in your trials. Let his shaping hand fit you for the kingdom of God. Let no mortal experience destroy or scar you spiritually. You are a child of God and you have a divine nature and destiny. May you find that destiny through the experiences of your lives, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.