Brothers and sisters, aloha!
What a blessing it is to be with you today. Our family loves to come to the islands. Our hearts were broken when we witnessed from afar the devastating fires on the island of Maui and specifically the town of Lahaina. Our prayers are with the people whose lives have been devastated by this disaster.
One of my favorite things to do in Hawaii is golf. The courses here are among the best in the world. The one thing I love about golf is that you can have a terrible round and be ready to give up the game forever, then you hit one good shot and you think you are ready for the PGA tour!
Sometimes life can feel that way. There are times when it seems like everything is combining against you and you can’t catch a break. You feel like you are just beating your head against a wall, and you don’t see a way forward. And then, miraculously, the clouds part, one little thing goes your way, and there is hope. Your faith increases, and you are able to move forward. I have felt this way many times.
When I was your age, I faced a lot of uncertainty. There were so many critical decisions to make: serving a mission, choosing a career, getting married, and dealing with my own questions and concerns. All of these things seemed so monumental and, to be honest, somewhat overwhelming.
I suspect you might have similar feelings. This earthly journey will be different for each of you. But there are a few key decisions that most, if not all of you will face. Today I thought I would offer some suggestions to help you navigate these decisions during your amazing journey here on earth—with all its difficulties, unknowns, and challenges.
MISSIONARY SERVICE
Let me start with missionary service. Looking back, serving a mission was an easy decision for me. It just seemed like the right thing to do. I don’t remember having a significant spiritual experience that motivated me to go. I just remember President Spencer W. Kimball, the prophet of God at the time, inviting us to serve.
He said this in 1974: “The question has been often asked, Is the mission program one of compulsion? And the answer, of course, is no. Everyone is given his agency. The question is asked: Should every young man fill a mission? And the answer of the Church is yes, and the answer of the Lord is yes. Enlarging this answer we say: Certainly, every male member of the Church should fill a mission." [1]
I remember these words as if they were spoken yesterday. They had a significant impact on my decision to serve, as did the examples of my dear friends who were also heeding the call of the prophet.
Compare that to what President Russell M. Nelson recently said: “Today I reaffirm strongly that the Lord has asked every worthy, able young man to prepare for and serve a mission. For Latter-day Saint young men, missionary service is a priesthood responsibility. You young men have been reserved for this time when the promised gathering of Israel is taking place. As you serve missions, you play a pivotal role in this unprecedented event! For you young and able sisters, a mission is also a powerful, but optional, opportunity. We love sister missionaries and welcome them wholeheartedly. What you contribute to this work is magnificent! Pray to know if the Lord would have you serve a mission, and the Holy Ghost will respond to your heart and mind.” [2] I know that is true.
So why has the Lord, through His prophets, consistently invited the young people of the Church to serve missions? First and foremost, He is allowing us to participate in His work by “inviting others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.” [3]
But the Lord knows—and His prophets know—the outcomes for those who choose to serve missions. I know what it did for me, and I know what it will do for you. Here are a few of the great blessings of serving the Lord:
- You will come to know and love the Savior more deeply than ever.
- You will come to more fully know His doctrine.
- As you teach others about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, you will more fully come to know of His power in your own life.
- You will become more familiar with the voice of the Spirit.
- You will increase your ability to receive answers to your questions.
- Your love for and testimony of the Prophet Joseph Smith will increase dramatically.
- Your knowledge of the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon, will blossom.
- You will come to more fully know the Savior guides His Church through prophets and apostles.
- Your service will more firmly plant your feet upon the covenant path.
- You will become His disciple.
When I think back on my service as a missionary in the Belgium Brussels Mission, my heart is full of gratitude. I am thankful for my two amazing mission presidents and their wives. I am grateful for the awesome missionaries and members I came to know and love. I am thankful for the blessing it was for me to teach the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.
And because I learned French, I was able to be a student teacher of entry-level French classes at BYU. In fact, as Lucia said, it was in one of these classes that I met her. Before dating her, I thought it would be a good idea to seek approval from the department chairman. When I asked him if it was OK to date a girl in one of my classes, he simply replied, “Isn’t that what BYU is all about?!” My only response was, “Ooo, la la!”
For those of you who have already served missions, my question is: Where are you now? Have you retained the holy habits and righteous routines you established on your mission? Are you continuing to seek truth? Are you keeping your covenants? If not, simply repent and start doing those things you know will strengthen your faith.
I invite you to follow the counsel of President Nelson: “If most of the information you get comes from social or other media, your ability to hear the whisperings of the Spirit will be diminished. If you are not also seeking the Lord through daily prayer and gospel study, you leave yourself vulnerable to philosophies that may be intriguing but are not true”. [4]
CHOOSING A FIELD OF STUDY
Now let’s talk about choosing a field of study.
When I began my studies at BYU after my mission, I was pretty much set on becoming a teacher. My father and two of my brothers were teachers, so I thought that would be my path. I started in that direction with great anticipation. I completed a good number of classes in my major. Then, after a day of substitute teaching at Provo High School, I felt like I should take another path. I dreaded the call to my parents to let them know I was changing my major. The problem was I had no idea what I was changing it to!
I prayed and pondered and still had no idea what to do. The clock was ticking, and I knew I needed to get things figured out fairly soon, so I didn’t waste time and money.
Is God willing to give us guidance about something like what to study in college? I believe He is. I love what President Nelson taught about revelation in his conference message Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives. I commend it to you for your diligent review and study. Here is one little bit of what he taught, “The privilege of receiving revelation is one of the greatest gifts of God to His children. Through the manifestations of the Holy Ghost, the Lord will assist us in all our righteous pursuits”. [5]
One day in the spring of 1982, I was walking across the BYU campus when I ran into a good friend who had served in my mission. I shared with him my dilemma and asked what he had decided to study. He said he was majoring in computer science. These were his exact words: “I hear this whole computer thing is going to be big!” How prophetic!
I don’t know if there has ever been a more direct answer to the prayer of a very anxious soul. I immediately enrolled in computer science classes and began my studies.
Think about the counsel Alma gave to his son Helaman: “I do know that whosever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.” [6]
My decision to follow that inspiration truly lifted me up and has been life changing for me and my family. This year will mark over 37 years in the technology industry in Utah. There have been many more answered prayers and inspiration throughout my career.
However, that doesn’t mean God has told me exactly what to do in every circumstance. There have also been prayers that I felt were unanswered. In those cases, I determined the Lord trusted me to make the decision for myself, so I went forward with faith, always correcting my course as I went.
I have often counseled with people who were seeking revelation for their lives but were not willing to take a step forward without clear, specific direction from the Lord. I don’t think revelation works that way. I am a firm believer that once we have prayed and sought the Lord’s help, we need to get up and get moving.
Have you ever tried to turn the steering wheel of a parked car? It is very difficult. Once you start the engine and the power steering kicks in, it becomes much easier, yet you still aren’t going anywhere. But think about what happens when you start moving forward: a slight movement of the steering wheel can move the car from one lane to the other with little effort. Course corrections are easier when you have some forward momentum. So even when you are not quite sure what to do, start moving!
Remember Nephi’s experience when he went into Jerusalem to retrieve the brass plates from Laban. He said: “I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do. Nevertheless I went forth.” [7] So, get moving and you're going to be okay.
ETERNAL COMPANIONS
OK, let’s talk about finding your eternal companion for a couple of minutes.
Last year I had the chance to play a round of golf with Elder David A. Bednar. He is a very good golfer! On the second hole of our round, I noticed a single player approaching as we were preparing to hit our tee shot. It was a young man who had just returned from his mission. Pointing to Elder Bednar, I told him, “You probably know him, but you don’t know me.” He replied, “You are Brother Newman, and that is Elder Bednar.” I asked him how he knew me, and he said, “I read the Liahona!” Elder Bednar then said, “Just so you know, there is no swearing in this group!”
Members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles are always teaching, so after a few holes Elder Bednar said something like this to the young man, “It seems to me that you may be looking for an eternal companion soon. You probably don’t want any advice, but I will give you some anyway.” The young man was, of course, grateful to hear Elder Bednar’s counsel. He basically told this young man, “You will never find a perfect person out there. You aren’t perfect either.
So, my advice is that you find someone who has spiritual and life goals similar to yours and with whom you can create the marriage and family you hope to have. You do not find a person who will give you a happy marriage. You prayerfully find a person with whom you, together, can create a happy marriage.” What great advice!
Lucia and I have almost 40 years of creating a happy marriage together. It has been a wonderful journey. If there was a scoreboard that kept track of the number of times one of us has had to say “I’m sorry” during our marriage, the scoreboard would read Brother Newman 100 and Sister Newman 1! I am so grateful for Lucia’s forgiving heart.
For some of you it might seem easy to date and marry. For others this may prove challenging. Just remain faithful. Keep moving. Keep looking. Remember Elder Bednar’s counsel. And have faith that all of God’s blessings will come, in time, for each of His faithful children.
QUESTIONS AND CONCERNS
Finally, let’s talk about how to deal with questions and concerns about the Church.
First of all, it’s not wrong to have questions. It was the question of a young boy that put into motion the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. But it is important to remember this question came from a truth seeker, not from someone looking to find fault in the existing religions. Young Joseph Smith knew he lacked wisdom, and he had faith that, as promised in James 1:5, God would give it to him. In verse 6 James adds a qualifier: “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering.” This is exactly what Joseph did. The sublime response to this humble inquiry changed the world forever. [8]
Think of Alma’s foundational description of faith: “Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.” [9]
Two things stand out to me here:
(1) having faith does not mean having a perfect knowledge, and (2) faith is hoping for things which are true!
I have had people tell me, “Well, that is your truth.” No, truth is truth! For example, is gravity a truth only for those who believe it? No, it is a universal truth. You can deny it all you want, but if a coconut falls from one of these beautiful palm trees on the island, it will hit the ground.
There is a God in heaven, His beloved Son is Jesus Christ, and this is His Church. It was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith. He translated the Book of Mormon by the gift and power of God. And Russell M. Nelson is the Lord’s prophet today. This is true! It is up to us to have a desire to come to know for ourselves. If you are a truth seeker, you will come to know.
For some this will come easy. For others it might be more challenging. I invite you to give your very best effort to come to know for yourself. There are many of this generation who say they are having a “faith crisis.” Questions come that they can’t seem to resolve. They then think the best thing to do is jump out of the safety of the boat and try to resolve these concerns while floating in shark-infested waters!
My counsel to you is if you have a question or concern, work through it while in the safety of the boat! My wife, Lucia, once wisely counseled a friend, “You aren’t having a faith crisis; you are on a faith journey!” In fact, we all are. And that journey includes sincere questions that help us grow and progress “till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God.” [10]
So, what are some practical things we can do when we have questions or concerns? In a BYU devotional message titled “Stand Forever,” Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge counseled us to focus on what he called the primary questions, rather than the secondary questions. The primary questions, he explained, include:
- Is there a God who is our Father?
- Is Jesus Christ the Son of God, the Savior of the world?
- Was Joseph Smith a prophet?
- Is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the kingdom of God on the earth?
Elder Corbridge continued: “By contrast, the secondary questions are unending. They include questions about Church history, polygamy, people of African descent and the priesthood, women and the priesthood, how the Book of Mormon was translated, the Pearl of Great Price, DNA and the Book of Mormon, gay marriage, the different accounts of the First Vision, and on and on.” [11]
I believe it is much easier to understand the secondary questions and put them in their proper perspective when we view them through the lens of the primary questions. President Nelson has invited us, “Take charge of your own testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel. Work for it. Nurture it so that it will grow. Feed it truth. Don’t pollute it with false philosophies of unbelieving men and women.” [12]
So what do you do if you have humbly and sincerely sought answers from the right sources, and the answers just don’t seem to come? Again, I choose to approach it with faith.
Many years ago, I created a beautiful little box in my mind. Written on the box are the words “TO BE ANSWERED AT A LATER DATE.” Whenever I have a question or concern I cannot resolve, I write it on an imaginary piece of paper, fold it neatly, open the box, and place it inside. Then I gently close the box and put it on a shelf in my mind. My act of faith is one day the Lord will answer my question. It may happen in my mortal lifetime, or it may not. That is up to Him in His infinite wisdom.
To paraphrase Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, my God whom I serve is able to deliver me and answer my question. But if not, my faith will still reside in Him. [13]
By the way, some of my questions have been answered. But some are still in the box. And I’m OK with that.
About a year ago, our youngest daughter and her husband were preparing to welcome their very first child, a sweet baby girl. They were excited beyond belief. Just a few days before the delivery date, the baby stopped moving, and the doctors couldn’t detect a heartbeat. A day later, little Charlotte Faith was delivered stillborn. Never before had we experienced that kind of grief. Every part of our soul wanted to scream in anguish. Lucia and I hurt deeply for our daughter and her husband. All we could think of was all the whys and what-might-have-beens— all the joy we would have experienced with this little one. Why did this happen? Why didn’t we see it coming? Why? Why? Why? Well, I still don’t have answers to those questions. They’re currently in the box, and I think the answers will take some time— maybe a long time. But our faith and trust is in the Lord. We will wait on Him. We miss little Charlotte! The faith of our daughter and her husband has never wavered. Their hearts are healing. And they recently welcomed a little boy, Peter Abram, into their family. That’s what it looks like to move forward with faith.
You may have a family member or friend who is struggling with faith in the Lord and participation in His Church. You are not alone. We probably all know someone in that situation. My advice to you is to follow the counsel of the Savior to the Nephites, “Unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them.” [14]
As you remain faithful and are steadfast and immovable in your testimony, your friends and family members, who have stepped off the covenant path, will always know where you are. When their hearts turn, you can be the means of bringing salvation unto them.
My dear friends in Christ, I want you to know your Heavenly Father loves you— so much so that He sent His beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to be your Savior and Redeemer. I testify that this is true! And They love you so much they want you to return and live with Them. The blessings They have prepared for you are unimaginable [15], but they require your deepest faith.
When Mormon was about to write some of the great things that had been revealed to him, “the Lord forbade it, saying: I will try the faith of my people.” [16] I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows how to help us to develop faith in Him so we can receive all that He wants to give us.
May we rely on His grace and power as we continue on our mortal journey.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
While I have your attention, I would like to invite all of the Young Single Adults, as part of your discipleship, to consider participating as FSY counselors for this upcoming year. The youth of the Church will be blessed by your service. Service is always about giving back and lifting others. Registration for FSY counselors opens in October. Registration is on the churchofjesuschrist.org under FSY. Be one of the first to sign up and make a difference.
Thank you!
NOTES
[1] Spencer W. Kimball, “Planning for a Full and Abundant Life,” Ensign, May 1974, 87
[2] Russell M. Nelson, “Preaching the Gospel of Peace,” Liahona, May 2022, 6
[3] Preach My Gospel: A guide to sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ [2023], 1
[4] Russell M. Nelson, “Make Time for the Lord,” Liahona, Nov. 2021, 120
[5] Russell M. Nelson, “Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2018, 94
[6] Alma 36:3
[7] 1 Nephi 4:6–7; emphasis added
[8] James 1:5
[9] Alma 32:21
[10] Ephesians 4:13
[11] Lawrence E. Corbridge, “Stand Forever,” Jan. 22, 2019
[12] “Overcome the World and Find Rest,” Liahona, Nov. 2022, 97
[13] Daniel 3:17–18
[14] 3 Nephi 18:32
[15] see Ephesians 3:18–19
[16] 3 Nephi 26:11