Sisters and brothers, aloha!
Have you ever wondered, as the primary song suggests, “Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child’s prayer?” [1]
I would guess that at some point, everyone in this room has asked themselves one or both of these questions. You may have come to devotional today wondering this very thing. And you’d be in good company.
In Liberty Jail, Joseph Smith cried out, “O God, where art thou?...” [2]
King David cried out, "My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me? why are thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?" [3]
Even the Savior cried out, saying, “…My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” [4]
In Matthew chapter 7 verses 7, 8, and 11, we learn about our true relationship to Heavenly Father, namely that He is our Father and that He will “…give good things to them that ask him”. [5]
Verses seven and eight read:
7. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” [6]
So, why does He feel so far away sometimes?
The Bible dictionary teaches, “Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship…namely, God is our Father, and we are His children…Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other.” [7]
We are mortal, and sometimes we forget. We barely see what’s right in front of us. We forget our covenantal promise that we can always have His Spirit with us. We are exhausted by the demands of everyday life. We worry if what we’re concerned about is worthy of His time. We struggle and think our mistakes are too big, we’ve gone too far, and He wouldn’t want to hear from us anyway.
This is simply not true. To God, you are the main character. Your story matters, and He’ll never get bored of hearing from you.
President Russell M. Nelson reminded us, “Once you and I have made a covenant with God, our relationship with Him becomes much closer than before our covenant. Now we are bound together. Because of our covenant with God, He will never tire in His efforts to help us, and we will never exhaust His merciful patience with us. Each of us has a special place in God’s heart. He has high hopes for us.” [8]
The Bible dictionary goes on to say, “As soon as we learn [and I would add remember] the true relationship in which we stand toward God, …then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part.” [9]
I would like to share four lessons I’ve learned about praying that have helped me feel our Heavenly Father close:
- Pray with specificity
- Pray with vulnerability
- Pray with the expectation that He will answer and you will act
- Pray in faith.
Pray with Specificity
First, a humorous example about praying with specificity.
My sister-in-law, Danica, and I came to Hawaii seven years ago and stayed on an organic farm near Haleiwa. We were elated to spend a few days in the salty air, the picturesque mountains, and the warm ocean.
On the first night of our trip, we barely slept. Yes, there was excitement and jet lag to consider, but as two gals from the mainland, we did not fully understand the implications of our accommodations. No air conditioning, no pesticides, no bug nets, and port-a-potties meant that Danica and I were a bug's dream come true. Throughout the night, we woke up to the sound and sensation of bugs crawling across our bodies. Yep, it was as gross as you think it was.
Heavenly Father is all-powerful, and under the right circumstances, He could have removed the bugs from our cabin. However, I knew praying for the bugs to simply vanish was not a realistic or even a responsible request. We could, however, ask not to feel or hear the bugs crawling on our bodies that night. We were granted a miracle; we didn’t feel or hear the bugs, and we could rest. Now, we still woke up with bugs on our bodies, but we didn’t feel them! So, miracle.
I knew I could pray with this kind of specificity because of a lesson I learned when I was a junior in college. I had started planning my summer, and my eyes were set on an internship in the western United States. I wasn’t interested in going home to Indiana that summer, and I worked really hard to ignore the quiet, persistent promptings from the Spirit that spending time at home was what would be best for me. But eventually, I couldn’t shake the feeling.
Still… I was not graceful about embracing this prompting in the beginning.
I remember praying, almost annoyed, saying, “Okay, Heavenly Father. If You really want me to go home, here’s what I’m going to need.” Then I laid it all out, very specifically, but not very tactfully. It’s a good thing He loves me, and you, enough to listen, even when we’re having and expressing growing pains. I prayed, saying:
- “I need an internship for my major."
- "It has to be meaningful, something that will give me strong portfolio pieces so that I can get a job after graduation."
- "It needs to be paid, because I have tuition to cover."
- "And it has to be close to home, since I’ll be sharing a car.”
It felt like an impossible list. But, Heavenly Father took my very specific, somewhat demanding prayer and answered it in the way I had hoped—down to the smallest detail. For me, it was a miracle.
The very next morning, I felt prompted to do something I’d never done before: I looked at the university's career website. Students, don’t wait like I did until your junior year to visit Career Services. Make an appointment with them this week; they will be happy to help you. Thankfully, my scrolling didn’t last long. My heart nearly skipped a beat when I saw a new posting—just three places from the top: marketing and communication, paid, a housing stipend, airfare to and from the internship? And, it was in my hometown—just three miles from my parents’ home. There was no reason for this regional company to advertise on a BYU–Idaho job board.
That summer taught me and reinforced something I’ll never forget: Heavenly Father knows me personally. He listens when I pray. And He is more than willing to grant blessings He’s already prepared for me—if I’ll just ask and be humble enough to act. The Bible Dictionary teaches: “The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them.” [10]
I’ve also learned that not every righteous desire will be fulfilled in this life. We live in a fallen world. Accidents happen. Other people’s choices affect our own. Biology has limits. Some prayers for healing or deliverance will not be answered in the way we hope.
Still, He really is there.
He is listening.
You are His child.
That gives you every right to ask for the righteous desires of your heart, and every reason to expect that He will answer. And sometimes, He might just answer in the exact way you dared to hope.
This week, I invite you to consider how you can be more specific in your prayers.
Pray with Vulnerability
President Dallin H. Oaks said, “Great blessings come to families if they pray together, kneeling night and morning to offer thanks for blessings and to pray over common concerns.” [11]
Praying and seeking miracles together is a powerful way to fulfill our baptismal covenants: “…to bear one another's burdens, …mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort,…” [12]
I genuinely enjoy praying with others. I learn so much from the words they use, their expressions of gratitude, the trust they extend, and the humility they offer. Praying together is a foundational opportunity to work together to have, as Alma commands, “…hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another”. [13]
If you've ever prayed with me in smaller or even not-so-small settings, you've likely heard me ask, "Is there anything you’d like included in our prayer?” Taking the time to pause, ask, listen, and reflect allows us to be vulnerable, to act in love, and live our baptismal covenants. It's nearly impossible to help bear a burden you don't know exists.
I've grown from this simple practice with family members, college roommates, classmates, friends, colleagues, and students.
I’ve had a few particularly powerful experiences as I’ve lived this practice. One came many years ago, while teaching a stake seminary class in Texas.
My mom is alive and well today, but back then, she was preparing to have a brain tumor the size of a golf ball removed. The tumor had been growing undetected for more than 20 years and was only discovered after my parents were in a terrible car accident.
To say I was grateful they found it and terrified for her to have this surgery is an understatement. I didn’t know if she would survive or if she would have long-lasting side effects. What if she woke up with a completely different personality? What if she lost her memory? I was consumed with worst-case scenarios; maybe you’ve felt that same spiraling anxiety.
One night before class, the Spirit reminded me I could ask for help. Like Esther [14], I could take courage. I could rely on the Savior's promise that He would not leave me comfortless [15], and as Alma said, others had been asked to help so that I didn't have to bear this burden alone [16]. The Spirit reminded me that we are on this journey through mortality together, just as the early Saints we were studying about in the Doctrine and Covenants that year. They had banded together to face trials side-by-side, and so could we.
So, as class began, I asked my students if they had anything on their hearts or minds they wanted the class to pray for. I got the usual blank teenage stare. The Spirit prompted me to go first. So, the week before her surgery, I opened up and asked for their faith and prayers; comfort for my family, health for my mom, and skills and ability for her medical team.
As I wrote my plea on the board, I asked again, “Is there anything on your heart or mind that you’d like included in our prayer?” It was still silent, but as I turned around, I saw hands peeking up in the air. In those few moments, we learned more about one another and the struggles we were facing individually and collectively than in the previous weeks and months we'd spent together. It was refining and humbling to watch these young people share their burdens and have faith that we would love them through their difficulties and celebrate their successes. We continued this practice once a week for the rest of the year.
So, when I started the Executive MBA program, I suggested to our cohort president that we consider adopting a similar practice. The EMBA program meets on average, every other weekend for two years.
Our cohort lived a lot of life in those two years. We celebrated four classmates' weddings, two sealings, seven cohort babies, multiple mission calls and homecomings, new jobs, moves to, from, and around Utah, and many, many, more happy moments. We expressed gratitude for the experiences we were having through our weekly class prayers.
We also shared and navigated a lot of tender moments; tough diagnoses, job uncertainty, the loss of parents and siblings, miscarriages, our own and family members' mental and physical health challenges, and so much more.
Together, we asked for the Savior’s grace, the peace that passes all understanding, and relied on the Savior’s promises that he would not leave us comfortless as we lived our baptismal covenant to mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort.
In both instances, praying together with such vulnerability allowed our hearts to be “knit together in unity and love towards another.” So much so that both seminary and MBA classmates have attended one another’s mission farewells, temple sealings, graduation ceremonies and a few of my MBA classmates are in the audience today to support me.
I promise that as you follow President Oaks' counsel to “…offer thanks for blessings and to pray over common concerns,” [17] with those you love, your hearts will be knit together [18] and you will see the hand of the Lord more clearly in your life. As you test this practice with your loved ones, I would love to hear how it changes your relationships.
Pray with the Expectation that He will Answer, and You Will Act
In Ether 2:16–23 [19], the Lord instructs the brother of Jared to build barges for his people to cross the ocean. That feels like a daunting task. But with faith, the brother of Jared builds the barges as instructed. They are small, light, and completely sealed. The scriptures say the barges were “tight like unto a dish” [20] to keep out water.
After building them, the brother of Jared prays to the Lord about two problems with the expectation that He will answer.
First, with a “tight like a dish” [21] seal, they will not have enough air to survive the long journey. So, the brother of Jared asked the Lord what to do. He’s instructed to make holes in the top and bottom of the barges to allow for fresh air. Answer received, and actions taken.
Second, there is no light inside the barges. As the brother of Jared prays for understanding and what to do next, the Lord tells him a couple of things that will not work. But then He does something miraculous and asks the brother of Jared what he would suggest to provide light. [22]
In Ether 3:1–6 [23], the brother of Jared acts with great faith. He makes sixteen small, clear stones from molten rock and takes them to the top of Mount Shelem. Then, he humbly prays to the Lord, acknowledging his weakness but expressing his belief in God’s power. He asks the Lord to touch the stones so that they will give light during their journey across the sea. And the Lord does it!
I love that the answers to these prayers come almost in tandem and perfectly demonstrate the way God answers His children. Sometimes we receive clear, direct, and simple answers from the Lord with exact instructions on what to do. But I have found that more often in my life, God answers the way He did the brother of Jared’s second prayer, providing guidance and guideposts that this or that aren’t going to work, but then He invites me to act, to be part of the solution. Asking kindly, what do you think, Brooke? When He does this, He invites me to ponder, to search for the right answer, and then to come back to Him to align my will with His, and to receive confirmation that I am on the best path for my future. Prayers answered in this way are an expression of love and trust.
If you’re feeling uneasy about acting on a prompting you’ve received, I invite you to pray for the courage needed to act and the willingness to try even when you’re scared.
Pray in Faith
I have shared a few examples of times where my prayers were answered in the exact way that I prayed they would be. I want to be clear, if things you have prayed for or about haven’t happened the way you’d hoped, it does not mean that God is not listening or intimately aware of your struggles.
He is listening.
You are His child.
When the heavens feel silent and disappointments loom large, try your best to remember as Sister Tamara W. Runia has counseled to have faith in Him, not the outcome. [24]
Learning to have faith in Him and not the outcome, like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego did in Daniel 3:17-18 takes time.
After they refused to worship a golden image, but before King Nebuchadnezzar cast them into a fiery furnace, they said: “If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king." [25]
And this next part is the most important line: but if not.
“But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.” [26]
Elder Dennis E. Simmons said about this scripture, “That is a statement of true faith.
They knew that they could trust God—even if things didn’t turn out the way they hoped. They knew that faith is more than mental assent, more than an acknowledgment that God lives. Faith is total trust in Him.
Faith is believing that although we do not understand all things, He does. Faith is knowing that although our power is limited, His is not. Faith in Jesus Christ consists of complete reliance on Him.” [27]
Elder David A. Bednar taught, “The classic example of asking in faith is Joseph Smith and the First Vision. As young Joseph was seeking to know the truth about religion, he read the following verses in the first chapter of James:
‘If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering…’. [28]
Please notice the requirement to ask in faith, which I understand to mean the necessity to not only express but to do, the dual obligation to both plead and to perform, the requirement to communicate and to act.” [29]
Elder Bednar went on to share, “If you and I would truly pray and ask in faith, as did Joseph Smith… we would pray with the expectation to act and not just to express…” [30]
Several ward boundaries were recently changed in my stake, and I was asked to offer the opening prayer on our first Sunday as a new ward. With these changes, nearly every calling needed to be filled. As I prayed, I felt a distinct impression to ask Heavenly Father to bless our ward members with courage, especially when they are asked to do something new or that felt beyond their current abilities. Later that day, I found myself needing the very courage I had prayed for on behalf of others when I was asked to do something new.
I am constantly amazed at the opportunities Heavenly Father gives us to both ask and act in faith. When was the last time you asked or acted in faith?
Our Experiences will be Consecrated for our Good
True faith frequently says, “But if not.” It trusts God’s goodness even when results differ from our hopes. When I face the realities of my own disappointments, I hold on to the Savior’s words to Joseph Smith in Doctrine & Covenants 122:7 “…know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good”. [31]
I also remind myself of Lehi’s promise to Jacob that God “…shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain.” [32]
One of my family's unanswered prayers is to have children. My husband, Marc, and I experience unexplained fertility issues, and for several years, I wasn’t sure how this painful experience would ever be for our good.
Desperately wanting to be parents, even getting pregnant a couple of times—but ultimately ending in miscarriages. Our hearts broke. The ache was amplified by well-meaning but unaware comments from people in our community. These people didn’t know that building a family wasn’t something we were putting off; it was something that was consuming almost every waking moment of our lives for several years.
Eight years ago, after our second miscarriage, my grief was almost unbearable. My body and emotions spiraled. I felt so depressed, betrayed by my body, and angry, oh so angry, I didn’t even want to pray.
And some days I didn’t. But I kept at it. I continued going to Church, knowing that God would heal and mend our broken hearts. During this time, I listened to the sacrament prayers with such intensity. I desperately needed to receive the promise “…that they may always have his Spirit to be with them.” [33]
Another name for the Spirit is the comforter. In John 14:18, the Savior promises His disciples, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.” [34]
We needed the Spirit to comfort us during one of our most difficult experiences.
Slowly, I started to trust God with my hopes and dreams again.
President Jeffrey R. Holland shared, “God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future—to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities.
God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe.” [35]
Through this trial, God began shaping us into something we could not become otherwise—we learned empathy and compassion, we learned to understand invisible struggles, we learned to assume positive intent, and to listen without judgment. This experience has refined us, and we are not defined by being childless here on earth. This season of childlessness has allowed us opportunities to give, love, serve, and support others in capacities that otherwise would have been nearly impossible.
I can see His promises unfolding—that all these things truly have and can be “…for [our] good.” [36]
An Irish poet and songwriter wrote, "Earth has no sorrow that heav’n cannot heal." [37] I have experienced the healing made available through the Savior.
Sisters and brothers, please do not allow your unanswered prayers or the realities of your own 'but if not' situations to create doubt or distance between you and our loving, merciful Father in Heaven.
He stands ready to comfort or chastise, to confirm or redirect, to teach or encourage, just as parents here on earth do every day.
The more specific and vulnerable my prayers are, the deeper our relationship becomes. The stronger my assurance that He will answer is, my capacity to act increases, and I’m able to exercise greater faith.
I invite you to do the same. This week, test out one of my suggestions, and see how it goes.
Now, I return to my opening questions: “Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child’s prayer?” [38]
I testify He really is there, and He is listening. You are His child, and He is always thrilled to hear from you.
I know President Dallin H. Oaks is a prophet of God and has been uniquely prepared to lead the Church at this time. Jesus Christ is our Savior and our finest friend.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes:
[1] “A Child’s Prayer”, Children’s Songbook, 12
[2] Doctrine and Covenants 121:1, emphasis added
[3] Psalms 22:1
[4] Matthew 27:46
[5] Matthew 7:11
[6] Matthew 7:7-8
[7] Bible Dictionary, “Prayer”
[8] Russell M. Nelson, “The Everlasting Covenant,” Liahona, October 2022
[9] Bible Dictionary, “Prayer”
[10] Bible Dictionary, “Prayer”
[11] Dallin H. Oaks, “The Family-Centered Gospel of Jesus Christ,” Ensign or Liahona, October 2025
[12] Mosiah 18:8-9
[13] Mosiah 18:21
[14] Esther 4:16
[15] John 14:18
[16] Mosiah 18:8-9
[17] Dallin H. Oaks, “The Family-Centered Gospel of Jesus Christ” Ensign or Liahona, October 2025
[18] Mosiah 18:21
[19] Ether 2:16-23
[20] Ether 2:17
[21] Ether 2:17
[22] Ether 2:23
[23] Ether 3:1-6
[24] Tamara W. Runia, “New Zealand Youth Uplifted by Sister Tamara Runia’s Message of Faith and Joy” [address given at youth devotionals in Hamilton and Auckland, New Zealand, September 2025], newsroom.ChurchofJesusChrist.org
[25] Daniel 3:17
[26] Daniel 3:18
[27] Dennis E. Simmons, “But If Not…,” Ensign or Liahona, April 2004, 73
[28] James 1:5-6
[29] David A. Bednar, “Ask in Faith,” Ensign or Liahona, April 2008
[30] David A. Bednar, “Ask in Faith,” Ensign or Liahona, April 2008
[31] Doctrine and Covenants 122:7
[32] 2 Nephi 2:2
[33] Doctrine and Covenants 20:77
[34] John 14:18
[35] Jeffrey R. Holland, “Terror, Triumph, and a Wedding Feast,” [Brigham Young University devotional, September 12, 2004], speeches.byu.edu
[36] Doctrine and Covenants 122:7
[37] “Come, Ye Disconsolate,” Hymns, no. 115
[38] “A Child’s Prayer”, Children’s Songbook, 12