Brothers and Sisters, aloha!
I am grateful to be here today and to have this opportunity to share my thoughts with you. I am grateful to President Wheelwright for this invitation. I have thought a great deal about what I should speak about.
Prior to coming to BYU–Hawaii, I spent twenty–three years working in the financial services industry in Los Angeles. When I arrived at BYU–Hawaii in July of 2008, I came to teach in the area of finance. At that time, when I was asked what subject I was here to teach and I answered finance, I would often see a facial expression that said, “BORING!” In the next eight months, I have had people stop me everywhere I went to ask me what I think about the worldwide financial crisis. Imagine shopping in the market and hearing a voice that says, “Hey, Sister Frederick, what do you think about the credit crisis. Will I be able to find a job when I graduate?”
I have had several opportunities to talk on campus about financial issues. Anyone who knows me, knows that finance is a subject I am passionate about, but today I would like to focus on a subject that is non-monetary in nature, and that is Finding Yourself in Service to Others.
Confucius, the ancient Chinese philosopher, made an interesting observation. He said, “He that wishes to secure the good of others has already secured his own.”
As students, you and some of your families or others have spent an inordinate amount of money and you personally have spent vast amounts of time to secure your education here at BYU–Hawaii. The process of education started when you were five or six years of age. Perhaps some of you were only two or three. You have experienced the process of education throughout your entire life.
Most of you will go on to fulfill your life's work in your careers, church life and family life. From the world’s perceptive, your principal goal should be to attain wealth or affluence. Since my experience has been in Business for the past twenty–three years, I will relate this from a business perceptive, but the thoughts can apply to any circumstance. In Business, we teach about the entrepreneurial system that attracts many in their quest to go from rags to riches.
In this quest to acquire wealth and success, the unspoken thought is that if you achieve wealth and success, you will also achieve happiness. Happiness is more often determined by your choice of mate, your family life and what you choose to do with your life outside of your job rather than by your professions or where you choose to live.
Thus, in your quest to move ahead in life, to get a job, to buy a home and start living “the good life,” as Jimmy Stewart portrayed in the movie, ‘It's a Wonderful Life,’ may we take a few moments and reflect on what it is that makes certain people so respected and admired, while others of the same vocation or education don't seem to merit the same personal respect. I would suggest to you that one significant difference is personal service; the small, everyday acts of kindness that one individual performs for another.
Service: the very personal aspect of one's life comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. The Savior is the best example of service. Even though He came to earth as the Son of God, He humbly served all those around Him. He declared, “I am among you as he that serveth” (Luke 22:27).
The Savior used a parable to teach the importance of service. In the parable, He told of His return to the earth in His glory and of separating the righteous from the wicked. To the righteous in this parable He says: “Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me” (Matthew 25:34–36).
The righteous, who are puzzled by this declaration, ask: “Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?” (Matthew 25:37-39).
Then the Lord answers, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:40).
Opportunities for service to others are limitless. Kind words and deeds can lift burdens and gladden hearts. Sharing the gospel is a great service with eternal consequences. One true key to happiness is to labor for the happiness of others.
During His ministry on the earth, Jesus Christ spent His time serving and helping others; true disciples of Jesus Christ do likewise. The Savior said, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35). In the Book of Mormon, we read of noble King Benjamin. He declared: “When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17).” I heard a quote once that went like this: “No exercise is better for the human heart than reaching down and lifting another up.”
President Kimball pointed out that when we are engaged in the service of our fellowmen, not only do our deeds assist them, but we put our own problems in a fresher perspective. When we concern ourselves more with others, there is less time to be concerned with ourselves. In the midst of the miracle of serving, there is the promise of Jesus, that by losing ourselves, we find ourselves. (See Matt. 10:39.)
Not only do we “find” ourselves, in terms of acknowledging guidance in our lives, but the more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls. We become more significant individuals as we serve others. We become more substantive as we serve others—indeed, it is easier to “find” ourselves because there is so much more of us to find!
As the contrasts between the ways of the world and the ways of God become sharpened by circumstance, and we see our faith as members of the church continue to be tried more severely each day. One of the most vital things we can do is to express our testimonies through service, which will, in turn, produce spiritual growth, greater commitment, and a greater capacity to keep the commandments.
Ways We Can Serve
I. Service can come through solitary acts of kindness
An example of someone who has practiced solitary acts of kindness throughout his life is President Monson. Many of the stories about his discipleship are well–known. As a boy, he gave up a treasured toy because he thought another boy needed it more and gave away his two pet rabbits so that a friend’s family could have Christmas dinner. As a young bishop, he took great care to minister to 84 widows in his ward—and kept them in his heart for decades. As a General Authority, he was attentive enough to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost to know when a meeting schedule should be interrupted to minister to a child. Those who know him well have said that he has not done these things simply because his parents expected him to do so or because the widows were the responsibility of a bishop or because it was his role as an Apostle. He has given this kind of selfless service because that is who he is. Thomas S. Monson does those things because they are what his Savior would have done.
Think of your neighbor, your ward member, or co–worker when looking for opportunities to be of service. Act locally. While the world touts the power of “big events”—telethons to raise money, concerts to entertain—these events often cast a shadow upon the importance of individual acts of kindness and compassionate service. How many times have we heard stories in sacrament meeting or general conference about an individual act of kindness that brightened a day, lifted a burden or offered just a moment of rest to someone who was wary?
II. It can come in the form of organized efforts
Members who reach out to serve others in their communities learn that their contributions multiply and that personal growth is inevitable. Latter–day Saints who contribute in their community simply to better it frequently find unexpected blessings of both greater capacity and increased opportunity to serve. Almost every ward or branch has members like the following who have tasted the joy that comes through service, acting alone or in cooperation with others.
Here are four examples of members whose service improve their communities.
The first example is of Dale Hansen of the San Dimas Ward in La Verne, California, who said, “I learned from experience that when you’re committed to what is right, you can even go up against big money and win.” Brother Hansen decided to get involved in the fight against card casinos in the city where he and his wife lived. But when he learned that gambling interests had been quietly trying to win approval for the casinos without alerting the public, he joined the Committee Against Card Club Casinos in Pomona (California). Organized by a local resident long active in community affairs, the committee included citizens of many faiths. Partly because of organizational and leadership skills learned through church service (he was ward elders quorum president), Brother Hansen was soon made co–chairman of the group. The consensus of city officials and community leaders was that plans for the casinos were too far along to be stopped. But the committee managed to arouse enough public opposition to force a referendum.
It came as a surprise to almost everyone when voters refused, by a very narrow margin, to approve the casinos. The wealthy interests backing the casinos did not let the matter rest. They managed to get the issue on the ballot again, and this time they openly poured their resources into the battle. They promoted the casinos as a way to boost the local economy. (Casinos located in some other small cities have not had that effect, Brother Hansen comments, but their money and their influence does seem to control local government.) There were lawsuits and other legal threats aimed at the committee by the opposition’s battery of lawyers. Brother Hansen was the victim of a smear attempt a few days before the election. But the casino proposal was defeated soundly, despite the fact that backers had poured some $2 million (U.S.) into their campaign, whereas the committee against the clubs had spent $14,000, plus fees for one hired attorney (paid largely by the group’s organizer).
It was a difficult 18 months for the Hansens. While he was deeply involved in the antigambling campaign, his wife went through a difficult first pregnancy and their baby’s first months. “Laurie made a tremendous sacrifice,” Bro. Hansen said. But defeat of the casinos helped preserve the quality of life in their city, as well as protecting property values, he commented. “This was like a fight for freedom. When you have an entity with that much money and power running your city, the citizens don’t matter anymore.”
My next example is Carol McAdoo Rehme of the Loveland First Ward, Greeley Colorado, who spreads happiness among the elderly with a weekly sing–along at the neighborhood nursing home. She found they needed a pianist and immediately volunteered. Twice weekly, she played music in the dining room during the lunch meal. It was a low–pressure opportunity to practice hymns and sight–read new music. But one day an elderly resident recognized “Bicycle Built for Two” and sang along as she played. Others spontaneously joined in, so when the song ended she checked in her music book for other old favorites.
That was all it took. She had a new program: a weekly sing–along that moved to the comfortable confines of the lounge room. Her bag of music expanded to stacks of sheet music and pounds of books. The repertoire grew, ranging from Gay Nineties melodies to wartime songs, from familiar hymns to show tunes, from patriotic marches to nursery songs. As word spread, both the program’s popularity and resident attendance increased.
What a revelation it was to hear their chorus of memory–to see eyes light up, toes tap, and hands clap. Ninety-eight-year-old Gladys couldn’t recall what she ate for lunch an hour earlier but knew the words to nearly every song Carol played! Eleanor, limited to her wheelchair because of a degenerative disease, kept rhythm by nodding her head, the only part of her body she could control. Betty, a double amputee unable to do but able to tell, was instrumental in explaining phrases like “tootsie wootsie” and “wiffle tree.” And Carol? She witnessed the pleasure the songs brought. She listened to venerable voices ringing out. Her voice lifted with theirs as they all joined together to “make a joyful noise” (Ps. 66:1).
The third example is Linda Petersen of the Unity First Ward in Burley, Idaho, who was the originator for Brighter Beginnings, a mentor program that helps the community reach out to about 40 unmarried mothers each year. “What alarmed us is that a third of the babies born in these two counties are born to young women who haven’t even graduated from high school,” said Sister Petersen, a member of the Mini–Cassia Child Protection Team, a volunteer organization operating in Minidoka and Cassia Counties, Idaho. She has often helped teach the importance of sexual abstinence, but unfortunately abstinence isn’t always the choice young people make, nor is placing the baby for adoption, “so we felt we needed to help those young women who decided to keep and raise their children.” It is important, she says, to give each young mother greater self-worth and the opportunity to learn good parenting skills in order to “make it the brightest future we can for her and that baby.”
A few months after Sister Petersen shared her idea for the program with others on the child protection team, they had lined up a registered nurse and many volunteer mentor moms to help give Brighter Beginnings its start. The group seeks to help young mothers graduate from high school and learn how to care for their children in a nurturing environment. Each mentor mom goes into a young woman’s home once a month to teach parenting and safety skills and also makes herself available to answer the young woman’s questions. It is hoped that the experienced mothers can be role models and “sounding boards” for the young women, Sister Petersen says. A registered nurse will visit and check on the baby’s health at two and four months of age.
More than nurses and mentors are involved. Volunteers help in other ways. Laurel and Eagle Scout projects provide some quilts and wooden toys for the children. Once a month, senior citizens help babysit while young mothers get together at the local senior citizens’ center to talk and receive instruction in such things as nutrition and safety. One of Sister Petersen’s favorite memories is of an older gentleman tenderly cradling a little baby for an hour as the class went on. Brighter Beginnings is funded by a government grant under the title “Building Stronger Families,” but it is the mentor moms and other volunteers who give it life, Sister Petersen says. Without them, no amount of money could make the program work.
And my final example is of Karen Baker of the Aliso Creek Ward, Santa Margarita, California; she saw a need to teach her own and other neighborhood children the joy of service, so she started an organization to help. Her organization, Kids Who Care, offers children 13 and under—generally too young to volunteer on their own in community agencies—the opportunity to learn about service early. Founder Karen Baker enlisted her own younger children and invited other mothers and their children as well. Several embraced the idea, and now the regular service projects carried out by Kids Who Care involve 20 to 30 children.
Their monthly projects can range from recycling plastic trash and planting trees for an Earth Day activity to pooling their money to help provide dinners for the homeless at Thanksgiving. One of the most meaningful and enjoyable activities for the children, Sister Baker says, was taking valentines they had made to senior citizens at a retirement home.
When Kids Who Care came to the attention of syndicated columnist Elaine St. James, her comments appeared in the Los Angeles Times. The organization changed children’s focus, she wrote, from “What am I going to get?” to “What can I do for someone else?” Not only have the children become less materialistic, but “when kids are involved in service activities with their peers, it becomes a socially acceptable way to spend time and to have fun.” The parents have learned, she reported, that a monthly activity “has a much more long-lasting impact on the child than a once-a-year happening, such as serving a holiday meal at a homeless shelter. It inculcates the ‘helping others’ mentality at an early age, so it becomes a habit in a child’s life” (“These Children Help Raise Their Village,” Los Angeles Times, county edition, 13 Apr. 1998).
III. Service can be realized through religion or faiths of various denominations
We must not limit our helping to those of our own faith, for human need—not church affiliation—defines our responsibility to our neighbors. Rather than agonizing about human need in the abstract, we can do something concrete about those near us. It can truly be said that one's personal character is shaped in large part by what one does to help and assist his or her fellow man or woman. I came across this interesting expression recently. I wish I knew the author, but I don't. It states:
“Remember to be gentle with yourself and others. We are all children of chance, and none can say why some fields blossom while others lay brown beneath the August sun. Care for those around you. Look past your differences. Their dreams are no less than yours, their choices in life no more easily made. And give. Give in any way you can, of whatever you possess. To give is to love. To withhold is to wither. Care less for your harvest than for how it is shared, and your life will have meaning and your heart will have peace.”
Recently, my husband and I heard about a member of a ward we formerly lived in who was killed while hiking Mt. Whitney (the highest peak in the continental United States). At his funeral service, the eulogy told the great story of this individual's life. Virtually every discourse at this funeral was centered on the service this man had given throughout his life to others. He had served as a full–time missionary to Sweden, as a Boy Scout Leader, and was currently in his ward’s bishopric. The number of church callings he filled are too numerous to list. He also was active in his local community organizations and his children’s school. Service was the cornerstone of his life. Attendees who were not members of the Church commented on how uplifting the service was and how while sad at this man’s passing, there was not a sense of despair.
Seldom does one hear about the successes that the deceased has achieved in the accumulation of wealth, in their education, in personal honors or in obtaining power. Some eulogies require major personal research to see if the deceased had, in fact, done any major good or helped another. These are always sad funerals. Perhaps these individuals have followed the counsel of Samuel Johnson, who once expressed, “He who waits to do a great deal of good at once will never do anything.”
I believe unequivocally that you will never find maximum happiness until you can effectively make a difference in the life of another person. I think about it every day. So many people need help, encouragement or simply hope. You are in a position to respond in such a positive and dramatic way. Albert Einstein said it best when he stated, “Only a life lived for others is worth living.”
Your simple acts of kindness and genuine efforts to help and serve others will not only lift the spirits of others but will bring into your own life a deeper sense of purpose and a greater feeling of personal peace. Thus, let us hearken back to the statement of Confucius, who lived from 551-479, BC, and his words of wisdom that are just as meaningful today as they were 2500 years ago: “He that wishes to secure the good of others has already secured his own.” No person ever gained ultimate success in any profession without uplifting humankind in the process.
May we go forward each day with the hope, determination and personal commitment that, whatever we do from this point on will involve the lifting up and loving of others. Be constantly mindful of those who are less fortunate. May it be said at each of our eulogies that we did the best we could to lift our fellow man and woman and to bring into their lives happiness and joy.
May our lives, which truly begin anew each day, follow the admonition of Helen Keller, who, although she was both blind and deaf, provided this wonderful direction for each of us: “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do.”
May God bless each one of us to go forward in life with a bold determination to help others and give service mightily that, in the end, we will know our true selves. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.