Are you familiar with the saying - If life gives you lemons, make lemonade? In other words, make something positive out of a less than desirable situation. But if life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
In many of the scriptures, we are told to "endure to the end" and we will in turn receive some sort of blessing. For a long time, I interpreted that to have less than a positive meaning. To me, it meant to "just hang in there", "put up with it" or "stick it out" until it was over.
That definition of endurance is the approach I took to completing my required statistics class. After a few classes, I realized that stats was not a course I would learn easily. I spent more time studying for that class than any other only to reap D's and F's on my quizzes and exams. It was frustrating and humiliating when I was used to getting A's and B's. When I considered dropping the class because of my poor grades, my friends reminded me it was a required class for my major, and unless I changed my major, I would have to still take the class again so why not "just get it over with", in other words endure to the end of the semester.
I murmured about my inability to understand the concepts of statistics to my friends and classmates in order to explain my low grades and, I guess, to get some sympathy. I convinced myself that if I could just pass the class, I would be happy. So I endured the class, did the probability exercises, and cringed each time I took a quiz or test, but I was determined NOT to retake that class. In the end, my endurance paid off. I was ecstatic when grades were posted and I passed my stats class with a D. Achieving a D in that class was like getting an A in my English 315 class. I had definitely endured the pains of statistics.
How many of us endure challenges in this fashion? We seek and sometimes even recruit the sympathy of others to our woes. There is a lot of this public sympathy recruiting on Facebook. Or, we allow ourselves to be unhappy throughout the whole ordeal because we think we're justified as part of enduring?
This type of endurance is like the example the Savior used in the Sermon on Mount when he was teaching the multitude about fasting. Beginning with Matthew 6:16 he said,
"Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward."
This type of fasting sometimes appears in our home on Fast Sundays. "My stomach is sore. I think I'm going to pass out. How much longer do we have to fast?" Do you know how I cure my family of this type of fasting? I just add on another half hour to our fast for every complaint heard.
Whether it's fasting, a difficult class, a physical or emotional tragedy, or maybe even a boring devotional speaker, we can and should be able to endure in such a way that we can always learn from the experience and try to remain as positive as possible through the process.
If we go back to the example of how to fast, the Savior continued his counsel to the multitude in verse 17:
"But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly."
But I learned the right way to endure when I read from D&C 121. The introduction to this section reads,
"The Prophet [Joseph Smith] with several companions had been months in prison. Their petitions and appeals directed to the executive officers and the judiciary had failed to bring them relief."
Joseph was rightfully depressed and in the following prayer, he wondered if he had been abandoned by God.
"O GOD, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?
"How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated with their cries?
"Yea, O Lord, how long shall they suffer these wrongs and unlawful oppressions, before thine heart shall be softened toward them, and thy bowels be moved with compassion toward them?
"O Lord God Almighty," let thine ear be inclined; let thine heart be softened, and thy bowels moved with compassion toward us.
"Let thine anger be kindled against our enemies;"
"Remember thy suffering saints, O our God; and thy servants will rejoice in thy name forever."
And then comes the Lord's sweet response wherein lies the lesson:
"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
"And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes" (Doctrine & Covenants 121:7-8).
That is the only place in all of our scriptures where you will read those words to "endure it well." Why not just endure as in so many other scriptures? Why did the Lord specifically tell Joseph to "endure it well?" Could it be that Joseph's challenge was a test or some kind of growth strategy for him? Yes! And if it's true for Joseph, it most certainly is true for us as we endure our trials. How much better off we'll be if we learn to endure them well.
From an address given at Brigham Young University on 17 January 1995, Elder Dallin H. Oaks stated, "Adversity will be a constant or occasional companion for each of us throughout our lives. We cannot avoid it. The only question is how we will react to it. Will our adversities be stumbling blocks or stepping-stones" (Dallin H. Oaks, "Adversity," Ensign, Jul 1998, 7)?
In other words, just enduring vs enduring it well.
During a period of intense persecution of Church leaders, the Lord told Joseph in D&C 24:8,
"Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days."
I don't think being told he was going to have many afflictions was the kind of comfort Joseph or any of us would hope for. Even though he had seen God the Father and the Savior in a vision, it did not spare him from affliction. Actually, it seemed to multiply his trials and the Lord confirmed it in that scripture. Yet he was expected to "be patient." The Lord didn't tell him to "just deal with it," or "tough it out" he said to "be patient." In other words, have faith, be hopeful, learn from this, be positive.
Elder Neal A. Maxwell elaborated on this in an article from the Ensign ("Endure It Well", May 1990):
"Patient endurance permits us to cling to our faith in the Lord and our faith in His timing when we are being tossed about by the surf of circumstance. Even when a seeming undertow grasps us, somehow, in the tumbling, we are being carried forward, though battered and bruised".
"Without patient and meek endurance we will learn less, see less, feel less, and hear less."
Doctrine & Covenants 122:7-8 while Joseph was still imprisoned in Liberty Jail, the Lord taught him:
"And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
"The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?"
How can adversities be for our good? Speaking in two different area conferences, President Ezra Taft Benson explained:
"It is not on the pinnacle of success and ease where men and women grow most. It is often down in the valley of heartache and disappointment and reverse0s where men and women grow into strong characters" (in Conference Report, Stockholm Sweden Area Conference, 1974, 70). "Every reversal can be turned to our benefit and blessing and can make us stronger, more courageous, more godlike" (in Conference Report, Philippine Islands Area Conference, 1975, 11).
Pili & Shyla Lafaele
Pili and Shyla Lafaele are a young couple in my ward. Pili is a graduate of BYU-Hawaii and Shyla is still a student, and a working mom of two kids ages 2 and a newborn.
Just this past February, their oldest child, Tapasa, had some breathing difficulties coupled with high fever which was diagnosed to be strep pneumonia. It landed him in the Pediatric ICU at Kapiolani Hospital for a total of 6 weeks with all sorts of tubes hooked up to his little body. One machine provided oxygen directly to his nose, another replaced his lungs for breathing in order to allow his lungs to rest and heal and yet another assisted his kidneys to function. His parents took turns in the daily vigil to be by his side and their daily text messages to ward members were always positive and hopeful regarding Sa's condition and they always expressed gratitude for the prayers being offered on their family's behalf. On a day I went to give Shyla a ride home from the hospital I saw the still body of baby Sa lying on the hospital bed with every tube imaginable coming out of his body, I realized then just how serious his condition really was. I asked her on the way home how she could be so positive when the image of little Sa that I witnessed just broke my heart. Shyla smiled and said that she and the medical staff knew he was a fighter who continued to improve daily. Exercising faith was more desirable and helpful than being pessimistic and doubtful.
Pili and Shyla are the epitome of 1 Corinthians 13:7, wherein they "beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."
Even when Pili broke his leg while playing basketball, two weeks after Sa had been admitted to the hospital, he jokingly asked the Lord, "Really Lord? You've got to be kidding." He wasn't angry, just bewildered as to why his afflictions seemed to be so many at this time. Four weeks later, Pili's question was answered when little Sa passed away to return to our Heavenly Father. This young father was able to endure it well because of his firm testimony in the Plan of Salvation and the knowledge of where his son was. Knowing that fact gave him a calming peace which permeated the entire chapel as he spoke. He was also at peace with his son's passing as a result of his daily visits and pondering the possibility of Sa not recovering from his illness. Had he not broken his leg, he would not have spent his days with Sa, but instead continuing to work to provide for his family. The Lord knew he needed this time with his son and made it possible for him not to have any regrets later.
Just like the pioneers who struggled and toiled across the plains, the Lafaeles chose not to mourn or think their lot was hard, but instead they latched onto their faith and the power of priesthood blessings to allow them to endure their trial well so they could boldly testify at their son's funeral that "all is well, all is well" (see LDS Hymn #30, 'Come, Come, Ye Saints').
Sometimes, we might not be experiencing any tribulation but we are aware of someone who is. We can and ought to help them to "endure it well."
Do you remember the story of Job in the Old Testament? He was a good man who feared God and shunned evil. He was wealthy but not caught up in wealth. He had integrity and strengthened the weak; he shared with the less fortunate and forgave his enemies. He was basically doing everything he should have been doing as a faithful saint.
However, Job experienced some of the most devastating situations recorded in scriptures. He lost his servants, property, and income. He even lost his children, his health and suffered from insomnia. Lies were spread about him and he lost the support of friends and family as a result of that deception. He even felt that God had abandoned him.
Unlike Job whose family and friends abandoned him during the moments he needed them most, we need to follow the example of Joseph Smith's friends. During those long months when he and his companions were confined to Liberty Jail, the Lord assured him in D&C 121:9,
"Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands."
What a comforting message that must have been for him. A faithful home teacher or visiting teacher who is sensitive to the needs of those they visit can also be the "warm hearts and friendly hands" we long to have near us in difficult times.
Natasha VimahiThere is a young woman, named Tasha, in our community who is fighting a losing battle to breast cancer. For the past few months as her pain steadily became more frequent and more intense and the doctors verbalized a time frame of the inevitable, her friends have rallied together to make the most of Tasha's days. They vowed to make her bad days better and to make her good days terrific. Here's just a few of the things they have done in the last few months to help her "endure it well":
When Tasha surprised everyone with the comment she was hungry and wanted some food from Kua Aina Burger, her friends gently packed her into the van and made an adventure of the trip up to Haleiwa with a few stops and spontaneous entertainment on the way.
When she had a craving for food at Hukilau Café, they all went there too.
They visit her often with massages and pedicures.
Sundays are spent with her talking, laughing and propping her pillows to make her comfortable in any way.
For Halloween, they held a pink costume party.
Tasha's cheerleaders often take their children to sing to Aunty Tasha as a distraction from her pain.
Even when the Seasider basketball teams went up to San Francisco to play earlier this year, these crazy friends turned it into a "We Love Tasha" Day.
When you have crazy and fun friends like Tasha has, who needs morphine to dull their pain? Morphine is for enduring, BFF's are for enduring it well.
Let me share another experience of "enduring it well" which is close to all of us.
In 1940, the only chapel in Laie burned down but because of restrictions caused by World War II, they were unable to start rebuilding it until 1948. The local church members decided to start a Hukilau as a fundraising activity for the new chapel.
Hundreds of visitors and island residents attended the first Laie Hukilau, which was held at Laie Bay, better known today as Hukilau Beach. The Polynesians demonstrated and sold arts and crafts, invited the visitors to help huki the nets at the appropriate time, served a traditional Hawaiian luau in the canoe house, and afterward entertained them with traditional Hawaiian and Samoan music and dance. That first Laie Hukilau was a huge success and it continued periodically over the next 20-plus years. It also clearly demonstrated to leaders at the Church that visitors were willing to drive from Waikiki to Laie to enjoy the warm hospitality of the Laie residents.
As a result of those earlier saints who "endured well" the desire to rebuild what is today known as the Back Chapel, situated next to the temple, they actively and creatively found a way to raise the needed funds but they also paved the way for the creation of The Polynesian Cultural Center which first opened its gates on October 12, 1963. Now, more than 33 million visitors have experienced that same aloha spirit, from the days of the Laie Hukilau. Many of the old Laie Hukilau performers were among the early PCC workers and villagers. The Lord truly does bless those who learn to "endure it well" (see www.polynesia.com).
I cannot conclude my talk without some mention of mothers and all the women we'll be honoring this Sunday for the many ways they embody the admonition to "endure it well."
How many times has your mother gone without, worked extra long on something, or in other words, endured it well, so that you would be better off as a result of her efforts? I'm sure each one of you can think of many such examples of those who are the mother figures in your life.
Many women learn how to "endure it well" right from the birth of their first child. How does a mother spell endurance? E-P-I-D-U-R-A-L
For some of you who may have been described as being a challenging child, your moms endured your rebellious years by allowing you to continue living. There's a quote on a plaque I saw in someone's kitchen that reads "Grandchildren are God's reward for not getting rid of your children."
But seriously, here's a story by an unknown author which I like because it shows how a dad was able to help a mom "endure it well" because of his own willingness to "endure it well."
Burnt Biscuits
When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
I'm grateful to my mom for being willing to leave her family and home in Idaho and move to Samoa for 45 years when she married my dad. I'm sure there were many times when she could have just endured the tougher life in Samoa and then convinced my dad to move back to the mainland when all of her children had moved to the US for college. But, she chose to "endure it well" and adapted to island life by not complaining about what she didn't have. Instead, she was resourceful with what was available. She, along with my dad helped the Church and Church Schools to grow because of her love for her new homeland. She relished the many blessings Samoa had to offer her family - except the bugs. Even after my dad passed away, she chose to stay in Samoa for several more years because it was her home. My dad couldn't have accomplished his work in the church and government if mom had merely endured life in Samoa. She thrived there until all of us, her kids, insisted she move to the mainland for health reasons. But her lessons have left an eternal mark on our lives.
My prayer and hope is that as each of you face your own challenges of varying degrees, or as you assist others with their trials, you will remember the Lord's counsel to us all when he said "thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.