Together
Brothers and Sisters, aloha! We want to recognize the wonderful music that we have just heard and are especially grateful for the sweet spirit it has brought to our devotional today.
Sister Hogge
Elder Hogge and I met at Brigham Young University Provo in our ward. We were both at an age where we were looking forward to finding our eternal companion. He was then blond and sun tanned. Being a girl from sunny California, I marveled at how a boy from Utah could ever become this way; as far as I knew there were no beaches in Utah. I soon learned this deep tan and the sun bleached hair was from working very hard in the hot sun to earn money for his college education. Of course this impressed me much more than any beach tan ever would have, because I knew he had one of the very important qualities my eternal companion must have, hard work. After getting to know this Utah boy I learned he had many more of those deep roots of eternal character I had tried to develop in my own life. So the beautiful white teeth, sun tan, and sun bleached hair seemed very insignificant to this humble sweet man I soon learned I wanted to spend eternity with. We were soon married in the Los Angeles Temple and a whirlwind life of schooling, sharing the experiences of having our eternal family, building the kingdom of God, hard work—but most of all lots and lots of fun had began.
I would like to introduce Elder Hogge by reading a statement by our youngest son Jared:
"Dad to me was a great father, he always helped me see life's big picture. No one could ever have prepared me better for what was to come in my life than Dad. He helped me set goals for myself. Because of his ability to model and teach this principle, goal setting has become an important part of my life. He was always loving and kind and led by example. I know this has helped me become who I am today. He is a great father. He always taught me to have faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to build my testimony upon the Savior."
Elder Hogge
As a missionary, I was masterfully taught at the feet of my mission president Truman Madsen as I served with him in the mission home. President Madsen lived a saintly life worthy of the spirit of the Holy Ghost and taught me about those characteristics of eternal worth and how to seek and know Jesus Christ and his prophets, especially Joseph Smith.
After my mission and digesting the influence of President Madsen, I changed my major at Utah State from forestry to marketing communications and enrolled at BYU. This was an important decision in my life for one evening at my ward this vivacious, perky, southern Californian girl danced into my life at the ward dance and stopped me cold. But I soon warmed, and immediately a budding relationship blossomed and became serious. Within a few months we were planning our life as we received confirmations about our destiny of being together—forever. I was toppled by Sister Hogge's enchanting ways and her serious commitment to our Heavenly Father. She was and still is a dynamic force for good in my life.
The greatest achievements we have experienced together are the blessings of building the Kingdom of God by serving in numerous callings in the Church and by never turning down the call to serve. It has been an amazing opportunity to serve here at BYU–Hawaii as senior missionaries. We have gained a new understanding of Paul's words, a "Chosen Generation," by getting to know you, the students. You are the finest generation in the history of the church. We honor you and have great optimism, gratitude and confidence knowing you will soon take over the leadership of the church.
At your age, and as Sister Hogge and I were courting, we had long talks about our future together. Our conversations turned to those roots of eternal character we were developing as we prepared for that most important trust of being parents. Our talk this morning is about identifying and Deeping the Roots of Eternal Character, and especially your roots of eternal character.
As Sister Hogge and I discussed our eternal relationship, the topic of children came up frequently. Sister Hogge expressed a long held desire to have thirteen children, and I, well I thought I knew I wanted at least two. But it all changed as we held our first new-born. Both of our perspectives on eternity changed, but especially mine. For the first time we literally soaked in the eternal spirit of this beautiful child just entering our family from the presence of God. Contemplating the significance of his journey to earth from the presence of our Heavenly Father, we came to a much deeper meaning of God's plan for his children. This newfound insight brought us our next greatest achievement, our eight wonderful children. Today as returned missionaries, college graduates, and faithful temple-worthy adults with thirty grandchildren and counting, we are very proud parents and grandparents.
Sister Hogge
Several years ago our family lived in the beautiful East Bay of San Francisco. Our family loved to go to Muir Woods where we would wander under the magnificent canopy of the coastal redwoods. The Redwoods at Muir Woods are an immense biological ecosystem of beautiful trees and plants. Redwoods are the tallest living species; many trees reach more than 270 feet into the air, which is approximately the height of one six-foot person stacked head-to-toe 45 times.
Further north, Redwood trees along the California coast reach to heights up to 380 feet, which is approximately 74 feet taller than the Statue of Liberty.
Our family would all become dizzy trying to peer the distance from the bottom to the very top of these amazing trees.
As we walked among these beautiful giants, we could not pass without desiring to touch the soft, thirteen-inch fibrous bark which provides significant fire protection for the Redwoods.
These mighty Redwoods continue to grow throughout their life and thrive under the right conditions. A single large tree may produce six million seeds in a year, totaling an impressive 50 pounds. But wildfires are essential to their growth and health. Wildfires release seeds from the cones of the Redwood, but also clear away humus and dead growth that inhibit the regeneration and the start of a new Redwood.
There are parallels to these wildfires that rage among the Redwoods and to the challenges in our own life which both strengthen and bring new growth.
Other parallels exist in our life to the fibrous bark of the Redwood. When we dedicate our lives to keeping the commandments and hold to the "Iron Rod," we are constantly building our own protective shield from the corruptive wildfires of life. Thus, we see the importance of a soft fibrous bark that can grow four to fourteen inches thick protecting the trunk of the tree from wildfires that are essential to the continual growth and regeneration of the mighty Redwood.
Healthy Redwoods do not deteriorate nor do they die of old age. Some are estimated to be at least 2,200 years old. Our discussions of these immortal plants, and their agelessness would eventually turn to all the history that happened during the life of these trees. Some trees living before the time of Christ, certainly before cars, computers, cell phones, face book and text messaging.
Roots of the Redwood spread out as far as 125 feet from the tree and intertwine underground with their neighbor, literally "holding hands." This process of "holding hands," allows these trees to withstand even the greatest of storms. Thus the roots act as a mighty anchor for the tree. It is hard to imagine the depth and breadth of the root system of a tree that reaches 380 feet in the air.
Elder Hogge
There are other exacting similarities that exist in the life of a Redwood that can be applied to our lives. The interdependent relationship that exists between the roots, trunk and branches, can be likened to our own, eternally bound family.
I am frequently reminded of an often quoted statement by President Hinckley: "Nothing will affect you more profoundly than how your children turn out." And of course the reverse is also true: "Nothing has affected you more profoundly than how your parents have turned out." And so it goes from one generation to another generation. Each of us is profoundly interdependent upon each other. We are here on earth to prepare and fulfill our purpose of life, which is to live eternally with our Father in Heaven.
The Savior said, "For behold this is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of men" (Moses 1: 39). If this is God's purpose that we live eternally with him as families, then the most important thing you can do now is to identify, and develop eternal characteristics which ultimately anchor the roots of your own family. David O. McKay said, "Being parents is the greatest trust that has ever been given us."
Today most of you are focused on doing your very best in school. But as you are seeking learning, you must develop and practice character traits that prepare you for the greatest trust you will ever encounter, that of parenthood.
In our experience, nurturing your family requires more intelligence, intuition, understanding, humility, strength, spirituality, patience, hard work and money than you have ever dreamed. Start now to identify, develop and implement eternal characteristics. Begin today to practice the eternal characteristics you need to become righteous parents.
Sister Hogge
The deep roots of eternal character you are now developing are part of that eternal root structure you bring as you join your spouse to become an eternal family. Choose well—for these principles become the roots to anchor your family tree. What principles do you now practice? Because what you practice is what you become!
Many of you have participated in dramatic productions or athletic competitions that require lots of practice and the development of specialized skills and talents. So when we say, "You must practice these essential eternal principles of righteous parents," you know exactly what I mean.
Those of you in the Polynesian Cultural Center Night Show understand well, since you have been up until 2:00 and 3:00 a.m., practicing, learning and becoming physically exhausted as you perfect the new night show. That is what practice does. It promotes perfection.
After serious introspection about raising our children, along with personal and companion prayer, consulting experts, and searching the words of prophets, here are eight deep roots of essential eternal principles that will keep you well anchored in your life now and provide a strong anchor for your family tree in the future.
Elder Hogge
The first deep root of an eternal character is loving kindness. Joseph Smith once said, "He felt like a lone tree standing on the plain." Even before the young age of fourteen he was developing deep roots of eternal character.
He is the greatest mortal example of loving kindness we will know. His life was an incredible example of intertwining his deep roots of kindness and love with others.
He held the hands of so many during times of grief and conflict. Even while incarcerated in Liberty Jail, his letters to the Saints were filled with love, kindness, and compassion sustaining all within his influence. His love and devotion for his family were an example to all who knew him. Because of his love for the Savior Jesus Christ and his fellow man, he sacrificed his life for the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The enlightened perspective of Bruce R. McConkie puts forth the view that "The highest manifestation of love on man's part is seen in his devotion to God, the next, in his attitude toward his fellow men."
Love is always associated with and manifest through service. Love is the foundation for peace and righteousness in this life and for salvation in the life hereafter.
Sister Hogge
The second root of an eternal character is obedience. Again from Bruce R. McConkie we read, "Obedience is the first law of heaven, the cornerstone upon which all righteousness and progression rest."
All of us need to incorporate obedience in our life now and in all we do. As you reflect on obedience in your life, are you being obedient to the honor code, dressing modestly, honoring the Sabbath and following the endorsement as agreed with your bishop and stake president?
What you are doing today as you practice obedience is reflective of how you live the commandments of God and how you obey and honor the laws of the land in which you live.
The prophet during my growing up years was President David O. McKay who stated, "Parents who fail to teach obedience to their children in the home will not develop children who are obedient in society. But society through the laws of the land will demand compliance and will get it. Obedience is therefore better taught in the home, with its kindliness, sympathy and understanding…rather than callously to leave him to the brutal and unsympathetic discipline that society will impose if the home has not already fulfilled its obligation."
At times we learn obedience through trial and error. When our son Justin was fourteen he wanted a horse. He and his father found ads in the newspaper for wild mustangs that had been rounded up from the plains of Nevada. Not being professional horseman, we knew a little about the character of these wild horses and that they were beautiful and fiercely independent. It was decided that Justin and his father would go to the auction and buy a mustang for one hundred dollars. I will never forget when they pulled up with the mustang in the horse trailer. It sounded like a bomb had exploded inside the trailer.
I took in a deep breath and saw my son's life flash before my eyes. However with a great deal of study, reading, and tremendous patience, slowly but surely, our son was able to get in the corral with the horse. With more time he was able to approach the horse, put a bridle in its mouth and get a saddle on its back. It was several months before anyone could get on its back. Our whole family spent many a day at the corral to watch the training of the mustang.
Our youngest son who was about eight at the time was particularly fascinated with the horse, but had received strict instructions to stay away from the mustang. Justin, the son training the horse, had also been given strict instructions to keep his little brother out of the coral and away from the horse.
A sequence of events happened so that eventually our older son put his little brother on the back of the mustang. The horse not being quite ready to carry a eight year old rider bucked him off throwing Jared to the ground where he hit his head on a rock. Justin's immediate instructions to Jared was, "Don't tell mom or else."
At this moment I was heading for the corral. As I walked up to Jared and Justin each had that smirky, guilt-looking smile upon their faces. Using a mother's intuition, I knew something was very wrong. As I looked sidewise at our eight year old, I could see something dripping from the back of Jared's head. I walked a little closer as Justin put his hands on Jared's shoulders and turned him slightly so I could not see his head. Panic overtook me as I walked around the back of Jared and saw the gash on the back of his head dripping fresh blood. And so both sons learned obedience through error. And for me, I learned patience through my children.
Elder Hogge
Our third deep essential root is work. Work is physical, mental, and a spiritual effort. It is a basic source of happiness, self-worth, and prosperity.
Unfortunately some of us are like the man who said, "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours." In your family you are the best example of hard work. Therefore you must practice this great principle of hard work now until it is eternally embedded in your character.
For me, work became a joy when I first worked alongside my grandfather and uncle on their farm in Liberty, in Ogden Valley, Utah. As a young boy of ten, I tromped the loose hay being thrown on the wagon by my grandpa and uncle and I drove the two horses, Pat and Mike—and I am not sure if I was named after the horse or the horse was named after me. We may never know.
But, I can still hear my Grandfather say, "Michael make sure and tromp the hay tight on the edges and corners of the wagon so it won't fall off before we get to the barn." I soon learned, even though I was only 10 years old, I was expected to put in a full day's work and to learn how to do the job right. I can remember feeling butterflies in my stomach and goose bumps on my arms every time grandpa said, "Tromp the hay tight and don't forget the edges." I didn't like to go to the edge of the wagon, because it seemed a long way down to the ground. After falling off several time amongst a pile of very slippery hay, I soon learned first-hand the importance of grandfather's wisdom about keeping the corners tight. With time I did learn to tromp that hay tight along all the edges. I also learned I could work just as hard as my grandpa and enjoy the result of a long day of exhausting hard farm work.
Sister Hogge
Finding meaningful work for eight children was a challenge at times, but Elder Hogge always found a worthy project to teach our five boys the principle of hard work. Like the time they gathered rock from the mountains behind our home. They hauled enough rock to cement together four two hundred foot rock walls to hold up a hill in our back yard. Then when the city failed to close a hole in the sidewalk and gutter above our rock walls, a six to ten foot section of three of the walls caved in. So after the city had finally closed in the sidewalk and gutter we started again to repair the damage. Although we do not live in our Utah home now, many stories are still told about which son lifted how many rocks and which son lifted the heaviest. This several summers rock project made an enormous impression on our sons. To this day some are even building their own rock wall. As you practice this principle of work in your lives now, it will soon become a deep root of your character. Then you will be fully equipped to teach your children the principle of hard work.
Elder Hogge
Our Fourth essential deep root is faith. Practicing the principle of faith in your life will bring power, strength, and spiritual self-reliance. Faith in Jesus Christ brings action.
When we have faith in Christ, we trust the Lord enough to follow His commandments, even when we do not completely understand. By practicing faith, the greatest root of character, we become more like the Savior. It is through faith we are able to regularly evaluate our lives, and seek forgiveness through Jesus Christ and the blessings of his Atonement.
Sister Hogge
Taking our children camping was one of our best summer vacations. One summer we stopped at "Cherry Hill," one of our favorite Utah resorts. We had a wonderful time going to Lagoon, barbecuing, swimming, going down the water slides, camping, and eating cherry pie. The week's vacation was so fun and we wished it could go on longer, but it was soon time to pack up camp and head back to our home in San Diego, California. Minutes before driving away, our son Jon said, "Dad, Mom, I don't know where my glasses are." After asking him where he had recently been played at the campground, it turned out to be virtually everywhere. The family was divided into teams with each pair taking a different section of the five acre park. After an exhaustive search with virtually no success, I told each of the children to get into the camper. I suggested that we all kneel down and ask Father in Heaven where Jon's glasses were. As we finished our prayer and all exited the camper on the truck, a still small voice whispered to me, "Look under the cherry tree." I remember the children had been climbed all around this tree.
As I studied the surrounding area around the tree I could hardly see anything under the tree; for all around the trunk were dense weeds. I got down on my knees and parted the grass moving from one area of the ground to the next looking and searching carefully. I was just about to give my search and move to another tree when my hands slid onto a solid object. My hands had come upon those precious glasses.
All of us celebrated and contemplated the power of faith and prayer. This eternal characteristic of faith had been developed in my youth by my mom and so it goes from generation to generation.
Our daughter Janell said, "As children we learned faith by praying together as a family. We prayed about everything; and knew that when our righteous prayers were brought in line with the will of the Lord, they would be answered. Our parents didn't just believe that through prayer, all things are possible, they lived this principal."
Elder Hogge
The fifth root is self-reliance. The Savior has commanded the Church and its members to be self-reliant and independent. As people become self-reliant, they are better prepared to endure adversities and are better able to care for others in need.
The Prophet Ezra Taft Benson said, "Without self-reliance one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak." For a moment I would like to focus on the empty shelf, empty purse part of Elder Benson's quote of financial self-reliance.
The key principle of self-reliance is to first live providently. Always live on less than what you make. First and foremost pay tithing, fast offering and other church obligations. Save and pay yourself next. And, yes, have a budget. Even at your young age know where and how you are spending your money. Teach your children the correct use of debt. Learn and live by the financial golden rule: "Those who understand interest, earn interest; those who don't, pay interest." We would find life much more satisfying if we would learn to moderate our desires for worldly possessions and teach our children the same. Seek the guidance of the Lord in all matters financial. He will give you support and guidance.
Sister Hogge
The sixth deep root of an eternal character is patience. This characteristic brings to mind all things people say to us when we display impatience. You don't have to be in such a big hurry. Slow down. Smell the roses. Don't worry. Be happy. Keep your shirt on. Take it easy—after all, we live in Hawaii.
Patience takes focused interest one day at a time. To develop the eternal root of patience we need to regularly evaluate ourselves to determine where we stand on the patience continuum. How much more patience do we need to become more Christ like? We should strive to emulate those individuals we consider to be patient and recommit each day to become more patient.
James said, "Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (James 1: 19).
The impatient, natural man is all about me. We see it manifest in news reports of parents, in a fit of rage, abusing a child, even unto death. Incidents of automobile road rage, impatience in lines at the grocery store and in the many things we do.
From our own family experiences: patience is when you hike to the bottom of Bryce Canyon with eight children and the youngest five years old insists on carrying his own backpack. Patience is teaching eight children to ride a two wheeler. Patience is sitting up each night waiting for your teenagers to come home from their date. Patience is awaking at 4: 30 a.m. to prepare breakfast, and have scripture reading before your four teenagers go out the door to seminary. Let us recommit ourselves to being more patient one incident at a time.
Elder Hogge
The seventh deep root of character is gratitude. The Lord has declared through revelation, "Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things…and in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things" (D&C 59: 7, 21).
Where there is appreciation, there is courtesy and there is concern for the rights and property of others.
President Hinckley said, "Cultivate a spirit of thanksgiving for the blessing of life and for the marvelous gifts and privileges each of us enjoy. The Lord has said that the meek shall inherit the earth. I cannot escape the interpretation that meekness implies a spirit of gratitude as opposed to an attitude of self-sufficiency, an acknowledgment of a greater power beyond oneself."
Sister Hogge
The eighth root of eternal character is listening. Listening is more than being quiet. Listening is much more than silence. Listening requires undivided attention. The time to listen is when someone needs to be heard. The time to deal with a person with a challenge or problem is when he or she needs you. The time to listen is the time when our interest and love are vital to the one who seeks our ear, our heart, our help, and our empathy. We should all practice our ability to ask comfortable and uncomfortable questions, and then listen—intently and naturally. Listening is tied-in to and part of loving. How powerful are the words, "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath."
Elder Hogge
Learn how to identify and listen to the still small voice of the Holy Ghost. Many times you as students and especially as fathers and mothers just need to listen and give all of your attention, face, ears and body language. Young children need to see your eyes. Older children need regular times together, one-on-one. In our family we had "our times" for the express purpose of one-on-one communication. And most important during these outings is the time for us to listen. I'll never forget the time when one of our daughters had a very heavy heart. She was not sure what to do or where to turn for an answer. In a busy family, it is not always simple to have a conversation without the listening ears of someone else getting into the conversation. Our daughter needed a listening ear and someone to council with. Part of the purpose of our individual "our times," is for each child to have moments just like these. We purposely set aside times for everyone. We listen closely and carefully to what children were saying or not saying depending upon individual circumstance.
This daughter wanted to go on a mission, but her two older siblings were already on missions. She had not discussed this with us fearing it would stretch the budget too far. In our father/daughter "our time" missionary service was frequently discussed with each of the children. She expressed her concerns and challenge of going on a mission, now that she was of age. I assured her that the Lord would bless her and our family if she decided to go on a mission, and that we would find the funds so she could serve.
We sat down and calculated when she should begin filling out her missionary papers. It was a special moment. She expressed a feeling of relief and gratitude when she was finally able to tell me what was truly in her heart. It was not long before she had her long list of what needed to be done. She was buying, packing and the reality of a mission brought excitement into her life. She left for her mission to Northern Spain, served with honor and returned very self fulfilled.
To this day I am grateful that we always took time to have "our times," and to listen to this beautiful daughter and to each of the children. Perhaps if the time had not been set aside to listen she would not have the experience, the memories, the spiritual development and filled the life of others with the teachings of Jesus Christ. Nothing is more important than listening to gain understanding, which can then translate into action.
Sister Hogge
So here is a representation of our eternal family tree. There is a place for everyone. And anchoring our family against the challenges of earth life, are these eight primary roots of eternal character we have presented. In your tree, what will your eternal divine characteristics be? Plan well—for you are practicing now what principles anchor the tree you build with your spouse. Deep roots of eternal character strengthen you and your family and prepared you for the wild fires of daily living that threaten the growth and successes of your family tree. Remember all the small acts you do as parents will anchor your eternal family in the solid principles of the gospel.
Elder Hogge
For the eternal divine characteristics of loving kindness, obedience, work, faith, self reliance, patience, gratitude and listening are the basis of a strong and enduring family that will anchor the growth of your family tree. When you have walked the days and nights of life, it will not be what you have accumulated in your garage, your bank account or the size of your house; but it will be in the lives of those you influence who grew up within the walls of your home. It will be what you have given them so they can grow and carry on the tradition of what you have established and set as the standards.
It is deepening the roots of an eternal character that bring you joy and peace and will return you to His kingdom. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.