Brothers and sisters, aloha.
Thank you all so much for being here today, making time of your schedule to join us. I hope that the message that I prepare for you will be uplifting.
I would like to begin today by sharing part of my conversion story.
In the fall of 2011, my family went through an experience that changed our lives. I remember being at home when I received a call from my dad. He was crying so uncontrollably that I could barely understand what he was saying. Eventually, he was able to tell me that my younger brother had been found unconscious at a friend’s house and had been rushed to the hospital.
My heart dropped.
I grabbed my keys and drove about 30 minutes to the hospital. When I arrived, I found my parents trying to process what was happening. I spoke with the doctors and learned that my brother was in a coma and would need to be airlifted to a children’s hospital in Portland, Oregon, roughly four hours from where we lived.
Once the helicopter took my brother, my family regrouped and drove to Portland right away. When we arrived, we learned that the hospital had temporary housing for patients’ families. We had no idea that we would end up living there for more than two months.
My brother was in the ICU, and because my parents’ limited English, I became the unofficial and very inexperienced translator for them. We met regularly with doctors who updated us on his condition. One meeting stands out in my memory. There were more doctors present than usual, and they told us that it was unlikely my brother would wake up. They said we might need to make a decision: to let him go, or to let him live in a coma for the rest of his life.
I still remember having to explain that to my parents. I had to help them understand that they might have to choose what to do with their youngest child. It was one of the most painful moments of my life.
My family had fallen away from regular religious practice for years. Life had become busy. Responsibilities had shifted. Church attendance no longer seemed central to our lives. But deep down, we still believed in God, and we still believed that He cared about us. As we contemplated what we were going through, we did the only thing we knew to do.
We prayed.
Because we all shared a room at the hospital, I remember waking up in the middle of the night and hearing my mom praying for my brother. I remember walking from our room to the main hospital building early in the morning with a prayer in my heart. I remember praying day and night, in every possible moment. And I remember one prayer in particular, when I begged Heavenly Father to help my brother. In that prayer, I promised that if my brother woke up, I would find a church to attend.
Weeks went by, and my brother remained in a coma.
But one morning, when we walked into his room, he was surrounded by doctors. Against the odds and against what we had been told to expect, he had woken up.
He was like a little child again. He had to relearn how to talk, to walk, to eat; everything. Slowly, he improved. Eventually, he was discharged from the hospital and sent home.
The road to recovery was still difficult. There were many appointments, many meetings with teachers, and many adjustments to a new normal life. My parents did everything they could to take care of him. And slowly, life moved forward.
Then, months later, I began to feel guilty. I had made a promise to God, and I had not kept it. My brother was home, life had stabilized, and I had still not looked for a church to attend.
Then, I met a girl.
One night in April 2012, I met a girl who, from the moment I saw her, I felt I would marry. We met at a party, and after some effort on my part, she finally gave me her number. We went on our first date a few days later, and after that we were inseparable. We were together every day.
Eventually, I met her parents. They welcomed me into their home and treated me like family. I knew they were members of the Church, but at that point I did not know enough to have an opinion. What I did know was that they were kind, loving, genuine people. They taught me more by example than by formal lessons.
Later that summer, my future father-in-law asked me to help him build a shed in his yard. One day, while we were working, I saw two young men walk through the gate looking like they were ready to help. As you can probably guess, they were missionaries. Were they good construction workers? Not really. But they were the right missionaries for me. They were exactly who I needed to teach me. I remember one of them asking me as I drove nails, “What do you know about Jesus Christ?” We had my first lesson as we worked on that shed.
After months of missionary lessons, church attendance, home teaching visits, young single adult activities, and even watching general conference, I was baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on December 22, 2012.
Looking back, I can clearly see the hand of God in my life. I can now clearly see that He heard desperate prayers. I can clearly see that He was guiding me long before I fully understood it. And I see that my baptism was not the end of my conversion story. It was just the beginning.
Today, I would like to share three things Jesus Christ has taught me since my baptism:
- First, that conversion is a matter of continuous progression.
- Second, that discipleship is not the same as perfectionism.
- And third, that Jesus Christ is with us in our trials.
First, Conversion Is a Matter of Continuous Progression
My first two years as a member of the Church were spent right here on this campus.
I remember walking from my hale to class early in the morning and feeling grateful to be here. Those first two years were full of introductions to new things. From attending FHE to blessing the sacrament; from receiving my first calling to waking up at 6:00 a.m. to watch general conference; from reading the stories in the Book of Mormon to learning how to give a priesthood blessing. Everything was new.
And if I am honest, at times I felt extremely overwhelmed because I felt so behind in my knowledge of the gospel compared to my friends. Many of the people around me had grown up in the Church. They understood the stories, the culture, the language, and the expectations in ways I did not. I often felt like I was trying to catch up. It has taken me years to realize that conversion is an ongoing process and that I need to be patient with myself.
I think many of us here today can relate to that feeling. In different ways, we may feel behind; spiritually, academically, or personally; and it can be easy to assume that everyone else has things figured out while we are still trying to find our way. But one of the truths I have learned is that Jesus Christ does not ask us to compare our progress to someone else’s. He asks us to keep coming unto Him.
Elder David A. Bednar has taught that conversion is not merely having one powerful moment and then moving on. He describes continuing conversion as “constant devotion” to revealed truth, and he explains that it is acquired “one drop at a time.” [1] He has also explained that this change often comes “gradually and almost imperceptibly.” [2] Sometimes we want growth to feel dramatic. We want to see immediate results. We want to feel that we have arrived. But more often, the Lord works quietly and steadily. Understanding these principles has changed the way I think about my own discipleship. It has helped me see that spiritual maturity is not usually built in one extraordinary experience. It is built through repeated faithfulness.
Elder Dale G. Renlund taught that being “converted unto the Lord” begins with commitment to God, but that “internalizing such a commitment is a life-long process that requires patience and ongoing repentance.” He explained that this commitment gradually becomes “embedded in our sense of self, and ever present in our lives.” [3] That resonates with me because it describes conversion not as a single moment, but as a continuing process of becoming.
This has been true in my life. The Lord changed me through prayer, repentance, the sacrament, church meetings, callings, and quiet impressions of the Spirit. Over time, those daily acts of discipleship have had an impact on my own discipleship. There have been many moments when I wished growth came faster, when I wanted clearer answers, greater confidence, or stronger spiritual capacity all at once. But the Lord has usually tutored me in smaller ways. He has taught me through consistency more than intensity, through returning to Him more than arriving. That realization has helped me be more patient with myself and more grateful for the slow, steady work of conversion.
Second, Discipleship Is Not the Same as Perfectionism
At times in my life, I have felt that I do not belong among Latter-day Saints simply because I do not have things together like others appear to do. I have felt that my efforts to become a disciple of Christ fall short and that maybe I would be better off if I stopped trying. I have compared myself and my relationship with Christ to that of others. I have felt pressure to look and act like I know what I am doing and that I have everything together. And sometimes, without even realizing it, that pressure has taken me to dark and lonely places.
It can turn into the belief that if I am still struggling, I must not be doing enough. If I still have weaknesses, I must not be faithful enough. If I still feel anxious or uncertain, then maybe I do not belong.
Perhaps some of you have felt the same.
That is why Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk “Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually” has meant so much to me. He begins by reminding us that the scriptures were given to “bless and encourage us,” and that becomes especially important when we think about the Lord’s command to be perfect. Elder Holland does not ignore the seriousness of that command, but he helps us hear it with faith instead of fear. He acknowledges how easy it is to become discouraged when we compare ourselves to the Lord’s standard, then reminds us that in mortality we should seek “steady improvement” without becoming consumed by what has been called “toxic perfectionism.” [4]
I think that, perhaps, many of us have felt that toxic perfectionism; I certainly have. It is important to remember that focusing on perfectionism turns our attention inward in the wrong way. It makes us fixate on our flaws more than on the Savior’s grace. It can leave us comparing, hiding, pretending, or quietly wondering whether we belong at all. But Elder Holland warns that “we should not demean or vilify ourselves,” as though punishing ourselves could somehow make us into what Heavenly Father wants us to become. [5]
What I love most is that Elder Holland gives both truth and hope. He does not lower the Lord’s standard, but he also does not leave sincere disciples in despair. Instead, he points us to perseverance. His promise is one of the most comforting teachings I know on this subject: “If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete.” [6] That has brought so much peace to me because it reminds me that holiness, growth, and repentance are real, but mortal life is not the time when every weakness disappears. Mortal life is where we learn to keep turning to Jesus Christ, trusting that He will keep refining us as we follow Him.
The scriptures teach that same principle. They do not describe discipleship as instant flawlessness. They describe it as humble dependence on the Savior. In Ether 12:27, the Lord says, “I give unto men weakness that they may be humble,” and then He promises, “my grace is sufficient.” [7] Weakness is not proof that we do not belong to God. Sometimes weakness is the very place where we learn to rely on Him. Moroni 10:32 teaches us to “come unto Christ, and be perfected in him.” [8] That order matters. We do not perfect ourselves and then come to Him. We come first, weak, unfinished, and in need of grace—and as we come unto Him, He changes us.
I also think of the Savior’s invitation to “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” [9] Many of us carry burdens that others may never fully see; academic pressure and expectations, loneliness, comparison, uncertainty about the future, emotional exhaustion, and spiritual fatigue. The Savior does not meet those burdens with condemnation. He meets them with mercy. He invites us to come to Him, to keep repenting, to keep trusting, and to keep walking with Him. That is why Elder Holland’s message matters so much to me. He does not suggest that the standard of discipleship should be lowered; he reminds us that discouragement should not drive us away from Christ. I have learned that I will not be perfect in this life. But I can be humble and sincere in my approach to discipleship, and if I persevere, then through Him, one day my refinement will be finished and complete.
Third, Jesus Christ Is with Us in Our Trials
Seven years ago, on the anniversary of my baptism, my mom lost her battle with cancer and passed away. In the darkest moment of my life, as my heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest, I felt Jesus right beside me, holding me tight and comforting me. That experience was deeply painful, but it also strengthened my testimony in a profound way because I witnessed firsthand the love my Savior has for me.
In Alma 7, we learn that Christ took upon Himself “pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind” so that He would know “how to succor his people.” [10]
Looking back, I can see that this was true not only when my mom passed away, but also when my brother was in the hospital years earlier. During both experiences, life felt fragile. During both experiences, there were things I could not fix. Both times, I was brought to my knees. But most importantly, during both trials, Jesus Christ was not absent. He knew what I was feeling, and He was with me every step of the way, encouraging me and helping me feel peace when all I could feel was pain, anger, and frustration.
Elder Dale G. Renlund taught that “Jesus Christ both understands unfairness and has the power to provide a remedy.” [11] He also taught that in mortality, some unfairness cannot be fully explained now. But because of Jesus Christ, unfairness is not the final word.
Suffering makes us feel isolated. It can make us feel that no one understands and that no one knows how we feel. But the Savior does. Because of Him, every injustice, loss, and heartbreak can ultimately be made right. That promise does not erase pain in the present, but it gives us a reason to hope while we wait on the Lord.
Now, let me speak directly to you, the students in the audience.
Sometimes people may assume that because you are young, your struggles are smaller. But many of you carry very heavy burdens. Grief. Depression. Family wounds. Financial stress. Health concerns. Loneliness. Fear about the future. The promise of the gospel is not that discipleship removes every trial. The promise is that we do not suffer alone. And sometimes one of the holiest things a disciple can do is simply keep holding on to Jesus Christ in the middle of something we do not understand.
In John 14:18, the Savior says, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.” [12] I believe that. I have felt that. Sometimes His comfort comes through the Spirit, or through a scripture. Sometimes through a priesthood blessing or as we strive our very best to keep Him at the center of our lives. His promises are unbreakable and He will never leave any of us comfortless.
Doctrine and Covenants 122 teaches that painful experiences can “give [us] experience, and shall be for [our] good.” [13] That does not mean the Lord prevents every trial or removes every pain right away. It means He can use even our hardest experiences to shape us, strengthen us, and draw us closer to Him. And that has become part of my testimony of Jesus Christ. He does not always prevent every heartbreak. He does not always remove every burden when we want Him to. But He does stay with us. He strengthens us. He sanctifies us through our suffering. And He reminds us, sometimes in very quiet ways, that we are never abandoned.
Conclusion
When I look back on my life, I see that Jesus Christ was guiding me long before I fully understood it. He heard the desperate prayers of my family. He answered in mercy. He led me to His restored gospel.
If there is one message I especially hope you will remember from today, it is this: you do not need to have everything figured out right now for Jesus Christ to love you. You do not need to be flawless to come unto Him. You do not need to hide your weaknesses, your grief, your questions, or your unfinishedness from Him.
Come unto Him as you are.
Walk with Him.
Be patient as He changes you.
Trust Him enough to keep going.
I testify that Jesus Christ lives. I testify that He hears prayers. I testify that He continues to convert us, that His grace is greater than our weakness, and that His presence is real in our darkest moments. I know that He led me to His Church. I know that He has stayed with me since my baptism. And I know He will stay with all of us as we continue to come unto Him.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes:
[1] David A. Bednar, “Converted unto the Lord,” Ensign or Liahona, November 2012, 109
[2] David A. Bednar, “Converted unto the Lord,” Ensign or Liahona, November 2012, 107-108
[3] Dale G. Renlund, “Unwavering Commitment to Jesus Christ,” Ensign or Liahona, November 2019, 22
[4] Jeffrey R. Holland, “Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually,” Ensign or Liahona, November 2017, 42
[5] Jeffrey R. Holland, “Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually,” Ensign or Liahona, November 2017, 40
[6] Jeffrey R. Holland, “Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually,” Ensign or Liahona, November 2017, 42
[7] Ether 12:27
[8] Moroni 10:32
[9] Matthew 11:28
[10] Alma 7:11–12
[11] Dale G. Renlund, “Infuriating Unfairness,” Liahona, May 2021, 42-43
[12] John 14:18
[13] Doctrine and Covenants 122:7