My dear brothers and sisters, Aloha.
Sister Henderson and I so treasure our time at Brigham Young University where we studied, met, and were married. It is an honor to share our testimonies with you this morning.
As Chaplain on campus, I interview on the phone, those who are not members of the Church who want to come to school here. I have met marvelous young people around the world. Recently I reviewed an essay from an applicant from the United States before I made a call to interview her. With her permission and changing names and places, I want to share it with you:
"Everyone has setbacks. My setback isn't very original since it seems like many parents these days get divorced. It's sad to think that there are only a few people I know with parents that are still together. My parents divorced when I was about five years old. At the time, I thought my dad would be back in just a couple of days, but as I got older I realized my parents would never get back together. I grew up in Flagstaff my whole life, but when they separated my dad went to live in Denver, and never came back. Growing up I went back and forth from Flagstaff to Denver.
"On breaks I would visit my dad and meet him halfway in a little town called Fruita between Wendy's and McDonald's. In that parking lot, a lot of tears were shed knowing I would be leaving one parent to be with another. The older I got, the more responsibilities I gained and the harder it was to visit my dad. I feel like I missed out on precious moments that could have been spent with my dad."
I then called this young woman and we became acquainted. We talked about her sad essay. I wanted her to understand something about the spirit of BYU-Hawaii. She had visited the PCC before and remembered the beautiful temple on the hill. I said, "Did you know the temple is closed on Sundays? We don't hold church there."
"Then what is it for?" she asked.
"It's where we perform weddings." I responded. We had talked earlier about the Honor Code, the law of chastity and other important parts of LDS culture on our campus. I said, "Marriage is very important to members of our faith. Many students at BYU-Hawaii date and get married. And when they marry they do it in the temple." I explained that in the temple, "We do not marry for just this life, but also for eternity. There, we are promised by the authority of God, to be sweethearts forever and that our children will always be ours if we keep God's commandments. We believe that marriage for time and eternity is part of God's plan for happiness."
"That is beautiful," she said. I could tell she was touched.
I am grateful my family life has been so different from what this young lady has known. I grew up in a home that was a lot like heaven. Oh, there were set backs, challenges and the need for repentance. But I grew up in a happy home. And the home that Sister Henderson mostly created for us was surely a bit of heaven. Why was that? How have we escaped Satan and his plan of misery and unhappiness that he is wrecking across the earth? It is because my parents and Sister Henderson and I have tried to follow the words of the living prophets who are showing us the way.
President Boyd K. Packer has said,
The crisis of the family is no surprise to the Church. We have certainly known what was coming. I know of no better testimony that prophets lead us than our preparation for this present emergency. (1)
Yes, can you see the hand of our prophets, guiding us through a huge crisis and emergency of family destruction? I was blessed by a father who carefully taught me the words of the prophets and about being a priesthood holder in the home. He said to me, "You know... you do not have to go to hell to know what it is like. Hell may be no worse than an unhappy home." And then he said, "And... you may never be closer to heaven than on the floor playing with your children at home." Can you feel that eternal marriage and love at home are keys to your happiness? The proclamation on the family begins:
We, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children. (2)
Family is part of the divine plan of happiness... Your happiness. Some of you have started your own families, many of you will soon, and some will patiently wait for a season. But I bear you my testimony that living the principles of family happiness as taught by the prophets will bless us all, no matter our current status. Today, I would like to leave with you three keys that Sister Henderson and I have learned over the years:
First:
As you prepare for an eternal marriage or are building a stronger marriage, will you please take care of yourselves? When I was sixteen, and discovering how important girls were in my life, my father invited me to go with him to girl's camp. We went early one summer morning to take food supplies. WOW... girl's camp where there were two hundred girls my age from our stake. I knew most of them and there were no other boys.
It was still dark when we arrived way up in the mountains and pine trees of their encampment. Quietly, we began to carry boxes of food to the kitchen area. We smelled bacon and eggs cooking for that army of girls, but none were in sight. Then I heard music. The Beatles were my thing then but this was quite different. I could not make it out but it was far away and seemed to go straight to my heart. I stopped and hid behind a tree, as the singing seemed to surround me and get louder. Then I saw. Each camp of girls was coming down to breakfast. They came down the paths from every direction, singing primary songs and it was very special and beautiful. I watched from my hiding place. And then my Heavenly Father opened my eyes and mind to something I had not realized before. I knew these girls. Some were tall, some short. Some had long brown hair and some short blond. But like words in my mind I heard, "Sid, these are all mine. They are all my daughters and they are all beautiful and precious to me. To each one I have endowed or shared my power, the unspeakable power to create bodies for my children." I was stunned at the thought. The power to create. Then the thoughts continued. "Sid, you must never speak lightly or joke about their bodies or their power to create. You must protect their virtue always. You must treat them all with respect and their sacred powers with reverence." Now I was in tears. "If you do as I say, one day you may be worthy to take one of them to my holy temple and to become an eternal partner with her."
This experience changed my life. Dating was different after that, and I became more serious about preparing for a mission.
Remember the doctrine of opposition in all things from Second Nephi? There are choices and consequences in all things: light or darkness; freedom from sin or bondage; happiness or misery. On the one hand we have Satan,
"...because he had fallen from heaven, and had become miserable forever, he sought also the misery of all mankind." (3)
On the other hand, we have the Father and the Son who appeared to 14 year-old Joseph and light and truth burst forth upon the earth in our day. The Savior's plan of happiness was to be restored in opposition to Satan's plan of misery. Moroni appeared to the boy prophet and taught the prophecy of Malachi, promising that Elijah the prophet would come:
"And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers. If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly lost at his coming." (4)
Elijah did come in 1836 and gave the prophet the sealing powers to bind and seal on earth and in heaven. But, to seal what? Families. Because the sealing of families together for eternity is central to God's plan of happiness. But we must also note with soberness that Malachi then warned that if families are not bound and linked together by this priesthood power, then the purposes of the earth will be lost, our missions in life will have failed and Satan's plan of misery will win out. Elijah's coming was a great rescue mission for mankind. Joseph Smith later taught:
"How shall God come to the rescue of this generation? He will send Elijah the prophet. ... Elijah shall reveal the covenants to seal the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers."(5)
Satan is not just a guy who is a little mixed up... He is evil and committed to your misery. Sometimes we think the way he brings us down is to tempt us to steal the neighbor's apples or rob banks. While these are wrong, he knows the best way to make you miserable is to tempt you away from a happy and eternal family. And he does it oh, so carefully. With bright and fun images and music. Remember Laman and Lemuel making merry and light of sacred things on the deck of the ship? So, Satan steals away our youth with worldly movies, dress and drugs. Look out, precious youth! It is his cunning way to rob you of happy and eternal relationships. Please ...take care of yourselves.
Forty-two years ago, Sister Henderson and I knelt at a beautiful blue alter in a small room in the Manti temple. The temple president asked us to look into his eyes as he pronounced words too sacred to repeat here. Through the sealing authority of the holy priesthood, he bound us on earth and sealed us in eternity as husband and wife, if we would be faithful to God and each other. We then stood and he asked us to hold hands and look into the mirrors that hung on opposite walls. There we saw the two of us in white, reflected a thousand times into infinity. We could not understand then as we do now, that the eternal reflections represented more than the two of us being together forever. Also represented in the mirrors were the eternal lives of children who were promised to us that awesome day.
And so it was. A year or so later, I stood at Joyce's bedside. She had spent a very painful night bringing our first son into the world. I held him in my arms and gazed in wonder at his perfect fingers, nose and tiny hands. He was magnificent. I looked at Joyce in amazement and said, "YOU HAVE DONE A MIRICLE!" And indeed she had. She was a daughter of God just as I had learned at girl's camp and He made her a partner with Him in creation. She gave a body to a spirit child fresh from God's presence. A body! A body that would one day be resurrected because of the great sacrifice of our Savior, "spirit and element, inseparably connected, receive a fullness of joy." (6) She gave our son a sacred body, a temple that would bring him the possibility of great joy.
I do not think we can overstate the sacredness of these gifts of procreation. Isn't heaven offended when we make light of these things? Brethren, you are charged to protect and defend God's daughters and the power or virtue you both hold to create life. Brothers and sisters, there is no place in your lives, before or after marriage to joke about these powers or to watch movies that depict intimacy or to dress in a way that tempts or that says you do not care. The Honor Code and dress code are not a strange set of rules or a costume to be worn at BYU. They are born of the temple and are the council of prophets to set a standard of reverence and protection for you all your life. When we see you around campus, in town or on the beach, not dressed as you have promised, it hurts. Heaven is hurt. We want to say with great love, "Remember who you are and please take care of yourself." You are playing with Heavenly Father's sacred gifts to you and are putting your happiness and the happiness of your eternal family at risk. Please, take care of yourselves.
Our second key:
Fill your home with love. How I struggled to learn Spanish on my mission. I had been out three months and still I was unable to help my companion. Early each morning, I got on my knees and pled for the gift of tongues I had been promised when I was set apart. I studied my heart out. Yet I could not speak Spanish.
Then one night, my companion who was the branch president got a phone call from a family in need. Soon we entered their apartment on the sixth floor of an old building in New York City. Never had I felt such darkness. Mother and father were shouting at each other and two little ones cried in fear. My father had been right. This was hell. My companion and I sat on the couch, without a clue of what to do.
Then warmth and an urging came over me. "Sid, you know what to say." I rebelled in my heart. "No I don't. I do not understand what they are yelling, I can't speak Spanish and I am the junior companion." Then... I was speaking. I am sure it was not great Spanish, but I was speaking and they were listening. I said, "Brother and Sister Vargas, Heavenly Father does not like fighting at home. I explained that in my home, when we needed to solve a problem, we prayed. I turned to Sister Vargas and invited her to pray. I slipped off the couch to my knees. My companion stared at me in disbelief.
"No," she said. "I can't pray now." I bowed my head, closed my eyes and waited. First there was silence, then tears as she began to pray. She apologized to the Lord and her husband for getting angry and for the words she had said. She asked the Spirit to return to their home. I then turned to the father and asked him to pray. His heart was hard and he was about to throw us out. But... he started to pray and his heart softened. Soon the children were holding tight to their parents and light had returned to that home.
Until this experience I had not realized that I never heard my parents raise their voice to each other or argue. They may have had disagreements but they never let us hear them. What mom said, Dad supported. And what Dad said, Mom respected. We were not allowed to fight each other as children. Mother would quickly show us how to resolve our differences. My parents were quick to apologize. My mother never spoke ill of my father to anyone. I never heard her say to a friend anything like, "Oh, I wish my husband were taller or I wish he liked to shop." Now... I do not believe this all came without work. They had decided to be one and to fill their home with love. You can do the same.
My father taught me that a priesthood holder's first responsibility was the well being of his wife and sweetheart. Oh, if men could be men and remember they must first care for their wives, the mother of their children. Mother was Dad's girl and we knew it by the way he treated her. It was never okay with Dad for us to offend Mom.
Mother taught me to pray at my bedside each night. As we gathered around the table to eat, it was our habit to pull the chairs out and have kneeling family prayer. I often felt a protecting hand over me, when I might have made a wrong decision, because my father had prayed for our safety that day.
So, our second key is that you must fill your homes with love. Practice now in your homes, in your wards, dorms and in all your associations.
Our third and last key is to prepare to teach your children light and truth.
As you become parents, the feelings of love and concern that I have expressed to you this morning will become yours for your own children. Your greatest worry will be that they might not take care of themselves and be stolen away by Satan from the plan of happiness and eternal relationships. The thought of one of them not being part of your eternal family will horrify you. As parents you will be frightened and feel helpless as you see Satan and his world deliberately focus on taking down your children: attacking the traditional family and its values; showing images on television, movies, and internet to cheapen the sacred intimacies of marriage; crude language in movies and on the street and the horrible drugs. I can tell you from real experience, you will plead with the Lord on your knees for your children that they will be safe and "take care of themselves."
I bear you my testimony that the Lord has prepared a way for parents. It was revealed to Noah to build a boat to save his family. The living prophets have told parents to hold family home evening to save their families today.
President Packer said:
"Thirty-three (now fifty) years ago the Brethren warned us of the disintegration of the family and told us to prepare. It was announced by the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles that the Church would be restructured.
"The weekly family home evening was introduced by the First Presidency who said that 'the home [is] the basis of a righteous life and ... no other instrumentality can take its place nor fulfill its essential functions...'" (1)
Family home evening comes with a promise from the modern prophets of protection for your children.
Often our family counseled together in family home evening. On one occasion, we were concerned about some of the music our children were playing. We opened the scriptures and also read the words from our prophet from conference. We wrote down on paper some of the words in their songs and asked how they felt about them. One said he had not heard the words. Another said the words felt really bad. We then asked what we should do? Without any help from us, they decided to throw the music away. But one said, "We paid a lot of money for these tapes." However they quickly came together deciding this music should not be in our home.
On another occasion, we decided which TV programs we would watch and that the rest of the time the TV would be off. It was not always easy, but we had decided as a family and this blessed our home.
We raised most of our children in a remote country and the closest temple was thousands of miles away. So, we had a huge painting done for our living room of the Washington D.C. temple. The kids began to call that room the temple room. There we would hold family home evening and we often sang, "High on a Mountain Top" because there were no mountains there. We had many discussions in our home about the importance of the mountain of the Lord, the temple and they wanted to go there.
Will you do the same in your family? Family home evening generally consists of the entire family taking part in fun and spiritual activities like opening and closing prayer, singing, a lesson, family council, and most important games and treats. Sometimes we would dance together, dramatic ballroom or rock'n roll. We especially liked it when one would perform on the piano, told about some important happening in their lives and we loved to sing fun songs together. Here is a picture of our oldest four singing Book of Mormon Stories.
Above all else, your children should hear and know frequently how their parents feel about them. They should hear your heart-felt testimony in the quiet of your home.
Here are our four older children posing for a picture during family home evening. Our favorite game was the sock-roll race. Each one was given a roll of stockings like this... Joyce and I and the children got on the floor in a line. The object was to push the roll using only your nose to the finish line on the other side of the room. One of my kids wrote recently that, "I suppose I loved this activity because we were all on the floor together. The big people were little people with us." There was lots of teasing and laughing. After a few races, it usually broke down into a tickling frenzy. I guess it was then I remembered my father's words, "You may never be closer to heaven than on the floor playing with your children at home."
Oh, please take care of yourselves so you will be worthy of these blessings. Fill your home with love. And please prepare to teach your children light and truth, especially in family home evening so that they will be ever yours.
I give you my quiet but sure witness that Jesus Christ created this earth and gave you a body for the great purpose of your happiness. He came to the earth and sacrificed his all to build a way of happiness for each of us. He sent prophets and priesthood keys to the earth in your day, these latter-days so that you and your children may have His plan of happiness. I bear you my testimony that central to that plan for your family is the Savior, Redeemer of the World, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen
References
1.Boyd K. Packer, April 1994
2.The Family, a Proclamation to the World
3.2 Nephi 2:18
4.JS-H 1:39
5.Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, (2007), 306-14
6.D&C 93:36