My young brothers and sisters, Aloha! I am grateful for the opportunity to speak with you today. It has been a wonderful experience for us to serve as senior missionaries for the past two years here at BYU–Hawaii. We both enjoy working in the Campus Planning and Construction office.
It has been equally rewarding to serve as mentors and instructors in the Hale La’a Young Single Adult ward here on campus. We have come to love the young men and women we associate with here in Laie. You never cease to amaze us. The high quality of character and maturity that most of you demonstrate as you go about your studies is remarkable and inspiring. Keep up the good work.
We also wish to mention a word of admiration for the dedication and commitment of our fellow senior missionaries. We have never known a more dedicated group of devoted servants of the Lord.
Last but certainly not least, we recognize the service and commitment of the university staff, the administration, and the faculty. We have witnessed their conscientious efforts as they go about their daily responsibilities to provide an excellent educational experience for all who enter here.
Speaking of responsibility, it reminds me of a story I heard some time ago of an individual who was a bit reluctant one morning to meet his commitments. It went something like this:
The kind motherly figure entered the darkened bedroom and gently said, "Get up Donald. It’s time to get ready for school."
The silent figure didn't move at first and then quietly turned over, pulling the covers up over his head.
With a firm tone in her voice, she said, “Donald, get up right this minute. Your breakfast is getting cold, you're going to miss the bus, and you'll be late for school."
Pulling the covers back down, Donald turned over and replied, “I don't want to go to school! Nobody likes me. The kids make fun of me, and even my teachers all hate me."
"Now Don, stop making excuses. You must go to school. You have responsibilities and you have made commitments. Besides, you're forty years old, and you're the school principal. Now get up and get dressed."
I don’t suppose there are any sitting on the stand behind me who have felt this way at times throughout their career.
I am certain we can never thank them enough for their dedicated service in the past and their continued vision and guidance as they lead us into the future… our future. May the Lord bless them for their devotion.
A Peek at the Future
I am delighted to be part of the development team overseeing the renovation of our iconic dormitories that were built long ago by labor missionaries. Several months ago, we received approval from Church headquarters to proceed with the redesign and engineering of four existing dormitories. The design work was recently completed, and President Wheelwright has given me permission to share the architect’s renderings for the next phase of development. We expect construction funding to be approved in the near future.
Over the next few years, Hale 3, 4 and 5 will have a third floor added that will increase student occupancy. Hale 6 will be completely taken down and replaced with a new structure built up out of the flood zone. The living quarters in all four buildings will be redesigned as three bedroom apartments, each having its own kitchen and private bathroom.
The campus will be beautified with new landscaping around the tennis courts and a pedestrian walkway that will connect the entire single student housing community to a beautiful new courtside park.
Needless to say, we think you are really going to love the improvements!
Forty-Seven Years Ago
In some ways, I am jealous of you because it hasn’t always been this nice and convenient. I know because I was a wide-eyed freshman here forty-seven years ago when this institution was relatively new. At that time, it was named the Church College of Hawaii.
I would like to share a few photos with you, so you can see how things were back then in the olden days.
I remember waiting in the San Francisco airport for my first ever flight on a jet airliner to Honolulu, Hawaii. The cost of a student standby airline ticket was only $75 dollars back then.
Yes, some of us actually arrived at college wearing a sport coat and tie in 1967. And yes, believe it or not, I did have a lot of naturally blonde hair on my head at that time.
Upon arrival, I was assigned to Hale 4, sharing a dorm room with seven other roommates. We each had our own bed and a curtain for privacy but not much else.
My part-time job after classes was maintaining the lawn and yard for the entire TVA apartment complex, by myself, which at the time consisted of nothing more than two military-style, wood buildings with about six apartments each.
In addition to my academic studies, I also managed to learn firsthand why one of our local beaches is called “Pounders,” and before I returned home, I was able to experience the thrill of riding a few waves.
The reason I decided to share this brief look at the past is to let you know that even the senior missionaries were once young like you, and some of us have walked the very same path before you. We know what it was like to be a young freshman arriving from overseas and not knowing anything about college life.
We experienced the same sticker shock at the high cost of textbooks, the same culture shock of having a roommate from another country, the same worry about pop quizzes and final exams, and the same joy and satisfaction at doing well in our studies.
We felt the same homesickness for our family, our friends, and our favorite food. We also remember what it was like finally becoming an upper classman and looking forward with great anticipation to graduation and our first real career employment.
Having traveled similar paths in a bygone era, perhaps we can share a small portion of the insight and knowledge we have gained to assist you on your educational and social journey here at BYU–Hawaii.
The message we would like to convey this day revolves around a very important subject: the multiple aspects of communication.
Communication in College and Career
As part of your liberal arts education, you will be exposed to many new subjects that will deepen your understanding and broaden your view of the world. You will be required to learn facts, figures, concepts, and formulas in your fields of study. Some of it will be interesting, and some of it will bore you to tears. All the hours of listening, reading, speaking, and writing to fulfill your assignments over the course of several years are aimed at helping you become a well-rounded individual and a contributor to society.
The success you achieve in college will depend not only on how earnestly you apply yourself to learning but equally on how well you develop the ability to communicate your new found knowledge. During college, you will be called upon to demonstrate this skill in the form of class discussions and examinations, both oral and written. After college in the work place, it will be required of you in the form of communicating with your employer, your associates, and your clients. No matter how smart you are or think you are, success in your career will largely depend on how reasonably, persuasively, and effectively you can convey your thoughts and ideas to others.
Much of the knowledge you gain here will be forgotten or perhaps never put to actual use again in your life after college, but what will be of great value while you are here in college and afterwards throughout your entire life is the ability to solve problems and to communicate your solutions to those you work with. Moreover, good communication skills will enable you to develop empathy and connect with your associates in a way that motivates and engenders their cooperation and loyalty.
This is what will make you a valuable and irreplaceable employee or business enterpriser. This is what will make you an excellent husband or wife and a good father or mother. This is what will help you become a leader in the Church and in your community.
Learn the skill of oral and written communication to the best of your ability. It will serve you well in the future.
Social Communication
In addition to mastering communication skills in the academic and business world, it is becoming more and more apparent we need to master our communication activities on a personal and social level.
We live in a very complex and fast-paced world nowadays. In the space of our lifetime, we have witnessed many lifestyle changes. I remember back to my childhood days growing up in Bountiful, Utah where we had a party telephone line. How many of you young people know what a party line is? When telephones first became commercially available, they were only found in public places. By the 1950s, many households had their own telephone, but it was connected to a shared system along with all the other houses on a particular street.
When you needed to make a phone call, you would pick up the telephone and first listen to hear if anyone else was using the line. If not, you could dial the number. If the line was occupied by someone else, you had to wait until the other caller finished. Needless to say, you and your neighbors knew quite bit about each other’s personal lives while sharing a party line.
Little by little, more private lines became available. Today cell phones, the internet, instant messaging, and video conferencing have almost made the landline telephone obsolete… except in the case of my wife Sheila. This past Christmas, our daughter Laura found a clever way to allow Sister Madsen to combine old technology with her smart phone and in some small way remain connected to the past.
Now Sister Madsen can carry her iPhone in her purse and still pick up the handset to talk to her mother just like she has all her life.
We are not suggesting you follow her example or that you abandon your smart phone altogether. However, we do advise that we all learn to discipline and control our use of wireless and internet technology. A balanced life requires there be moderation in all things.
I refer back to General Conference a few short weeks ago where Brother Randall L. Ridd reminded us that “owning a Smartphone does not make you smart, but using it wisely can.”
He further stated, “As important as it is to leave home every day with a full charge on your cell phone, it is far more important to be fully charged spiritually. Every time you plug in your phone, use it as a reminder to ask yourself if you have plugged in to the most important source of spiritual power—prayer and scripture study, which will charge you with inspiration through the Holy Ghost.”
Communication in Dating and Courtship
For the next few moments, I would like to direct our attention toward another very important subject.
• How many of you are currently single? By that I mean unmarried. Please raise your hands.
• How many of you plan to get married someday? This is a very important and worthy goal.
• Now, how many of you are actively dating at the present time?
• How many of you have been on a real date this past week?
President Wheelwright, there appears to be something missing here. These young men and women seem to believe they are going to marry someone without ever dating. That would be like someone believing he is going to graduate without going to class and completing his assignments.
All teasing aside, I would like to share a few secrets about dating and courtship.
1) You will only marry someone you date. I don’t know of any couple who married without dating first. And for the record “hanging out” is not considered a real date. To be precise, the traditional definition of dating is “a form of courtship consisting of social activities among two people of the opposite sex with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a marriage partner.”
2) To find the right one, you must first date the right kind. You will never find the right one if you don’t socialize with the right kind, so don’t go looking for love in all the wrong places. Associating with the right kind of individuals will greatly increase your chances of finding the one that is right for you.
3) There is no perfect “soul mate” for you. Those who continue to hold out for Prince Charming or Miss Universe may find themselves waiting a lifetime. By design, perfection does not exist in this mortal life. My personal belief is there are a number of potential marriage companions with whom each of us could make happy lives and homes together. The notion of a one and only soul mate is a romantic idea, but in reality, there are many who could fit the bill.
Besides offering you a great education, I hope you unattached upper classmen and women realize that one of the most significant opportunities this university provides you is the chance to find your future mate, your life long companion.
No, you won’t find it written in the university mission statement, the motto, or the Honor Code, but I assure you the Lord knows that this is the moment in time when you are making major decisions regarding your education, your career, and perhaps finding your future husband or your wife. College is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will never come around again for most of you. If you don’t take advantage of it, I promise you will look back on these years at BYU–Hawaii with some regret.
Where else in the world can you mix and mingle with others your same age, with the same religious beliefs, with common goals and aspirations? Nowhere else.
Taking the entire world population as a whole, the Latter-day Saints make up approximately one quarter of one percent of the total population. This means that only 1 out of every 400 people will think like you, believe like you, have the same ideals as you, and know about God’s plan of happiness for you.
Here at BYU–Hawaii, everyone shares our common beliefs.
Dating doesn’t have to be expensive. Find cheap dates. Go on double dates. Learn to communicate face-to-face with the opposite sex not only through text messaging.
Generally, the boys take the lead setting up a date. However, resourceful young women can also find appropriate ways to get to know the young men on campus. I know of one young lady who always seemed to be standing in just the right place after church meetings or after class where she knew a certain young man would be passing. She would offer a cheerful hello and ask him how he was doing, which led to a casual conversation. Soon they were dating.
Expressing an interest in someone through common friends is another effective way to get acquainted with each other. Attending Family Home Evening and other church and school activities are also good ways to start dating.
Don’t let your shyness get in the way. Build up your courage and then move forward with faith.
Don’t set your expectations too high regarding outward appearances and worldly things. In the long run, those things will change and all fade away. First, focus on inward attributes such as character and courtesy, responsibility and reliability, testimony and faithfulness. These are the things that matter most.
Many of you underclassmen may not feel ready for dating, courtship or marriage. That is understandable. There is no rush. Be patient and your time will come. Someday, the love bug will bite you too. Meanwhile, take advantage of the opportunity to socialize and make friends while you are here in this environment.
Perhaps you upperclassmen are worried about a career or not having enough resources to support a wife, and therefore, you are not seriously considering courtship and marriage. That also is understandable, but keep in mind that where there is a will, there is a way.
I put myself through college without any help from my family or anyone else except the bank. I worked odd jobs every semester and each summer to get through college. I did many types of work including construction, delivering groceries, and digging graves at the cemetery by hand with pick and shovel. I also installed lawn sprinkler systems.
Soon after returning from my mission, I installed a sprinkler system for a Bernina Sewing machine distributor. The manager couldn’t afford to pay me in cash, so I took part of my compensation in trade. Upon completion of the project, I became the proud owner of a brand new Bernina sewing machine.
Long before I had a wife, I was preparing for my future wedding day. I knew that someday I would be married, and this fine sewing machine would make an excellent wedding gift for my then unknown bride whoever she may be. I moved and stored that sewing machine for three more years before I finally found her.
I finished college in Utah in the spring of 1973 in debt with several student loans and without a fulltime job. Nonetheless, later that summer, my sweetheart and I were married and sealed in the Salt Lake temple. Neither of our families had the financial resources to help much with our wedding reception. We rented the cultural hall at the institute of religion for all of fifty dollars. We had the smallest and simplest wedding cake you can imagine.
We couldn’t afford to provide dinner for our guests, so we served them sheet cake with a tiny cup of mixed nuts and sparkling punch. Our wedding invitations were not engraved but were printed on plain card stock by an eighty-year old member of my home ward who had been a printer in his younger years. He still had an old fashioned printing press at his shop.
I remember watching him set the type one letter at a time and then slide each blank card on and off the press every few seconds as it opened and closed. At his advanced age and with his failing eyesight, I worried that he might get his hand caught in the press. My fears were unfounded as the old pro confidently moved his hands in and out of the press in rhythm with the rotating crankshaft.
Some of the young ladies in our student ward didn’t believe Sheila was really engaged because we decided together that a diamond engagement ring would create unnecessary debt and would not be prudent. We settled on matching gold wedding bands instead. All together, we spent two or three hundred dollars for the whole affair.
I share this with you to point out that you don’t need a lot of resources to find your wife and begin your life together. You only need to follow your heart and move forward with a lot of love and faith. I assure you that your Heavenly Father will help you provide all that is required. He will provide every needful thing for those that love and obey Him.
Strengthening Spiritual Communication
This brings me to my concluding remarks about developing strong skills in communicating with God through prayer.
There are many in this audience who are away from home for the first time. At home, you were surrounded and supported by your family and friends.
But now it is different. You are here among strangers without your former support group, if you haven’t already noticed. I suspect your prayers to God may have become a little more frequent and much more sincere since your arrival, especially during midterm and final exam week. Am I right? This is to be expected.
Your time at BYU–Hawaii presents you with an amazing opportunity to come to know your Heavenly Father and to strengthen your relationship with the Savior Jesus Christ better than at any other time in your life so far. Use this time to draw close to God through prayer. To do this effectively, you may find it helpful to develop your own personal routine or template that will help you cultivate and exercise this powerful gift.
First and foremost, I want you to know that God hears and answers your prayers today just like he did in the times of the apostle James wherein he said, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him” (James 1:5).
I have experienced the truth of this statement many times throughout my life. There is no doubt in my mind. I know it to be true.
Second, there are certain steps or requirements you need to follow to receive answers to your prayers.
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened” (Matthew 7:7-8).
The message in these verses is repeated several times in scripture. Even though God already knows our needs, it is important we first recognize our needs and take proactive steps to satisfy them even it results in nothing more than seeking His blessing through prayer. As one thinks about this proclamation more deeply, one realizes how beautifully it ties into the principle of agency and law of obedience.
Third, there is a basic format that is followed in our religion when praying in public and in private. We begin by addressing our prayers to our creator, God the Father. Next, we acknowledge his hand in our lives and give thanks to Him for the many blessings we receive daily. After our expressions of gratitude, we humbly seek His guidance and blessing in our life. We close our prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer. It is regarding this last step I wish to offer a few words of counsel. The first few steps of prayer are quite intuitive. However, the importance of and purpose for the last step may not be well understood by young Latter-day Saints. One of the reasons we always close our prayers in the name of Jesus Christ is because God the Father has commanded it.
“And again, I say unto you, all things must be done in the name of Christ, whatsoever you do in the Spirit” (D&C 46:31).
Why has God commanded us to do this? Because it is by and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that our lives have been redeemed from the Fall. It is through the Lord Jesus Christ, who is our advocate before the judgment bar of God, that we may be admitted into the kingdoms of heaven and into the presence of the Father. It is by and through Jesus Christ that all things were and are created and through whom all blessings flow. Simply stated, God wants us to remember these facts each and every time we approach Him in prayer. In so doing, we show respect for both the Father and the Son as we glorify their names.
However, many people in bearing their testimony and in offering their public prayers have fallen into the habit of rushing through the closing of their testimony or prayer in such a hurried fashion that it becomes indiscernible what they are saying. Unintentionally I am sure, it may appear they are treating these very important words as an afterthought or an accessory that is required by protocol but lacking in purpose and meaning. In reality, we all know this is not the case.
We would all do well at the conclusion of our testimonies and our prayers to pause to clearly and deliberately acknowledge the essential role of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ before uttering the word “amen.”
Conclusion
My brothers and sisters, we applaud you for all that you are accomplishing here at this institution. As you continue your studies, we challenge you to expand and improve your communication skills. It will pay big dividends to you in the near future.
In a social setting, we encourage you to step outside your comfort zone and make the extra effort to get to know and love your fellow students better than you do today. The opportunity of making friends in college may never occur again. Some of your college friendships will last a lifetime, especially if one of them ends up being your eternal companion.
While you are here, please use this time away from home to build and strengthen a personal relationship with your Father in Heaven and the Lord Jesus Christ through earnest and faithful prayer.
We wish you the very best of success while here at BYU–Hawaii. Do not be afraid. Do not fear the unknown future. Go forth with faith. God will provide the way.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.