Brothers and sisters, aloha.
As my wife indicated, I’m a convert to the Church. I’ll begin by relating my conversion story.
I had just finished my first year at college and was home for the summer. One day the elders were tracting on our street and came to our house. Generally when the elders came through the neighborhood, the neighbors called one another and everyone would close their curtains, lock their doors, and pretend they weren’t home. One year of college had helped me to be somewhat open minded, so I visited with the elders. I was the only one home at the time. We mostly spoke about their missions – that they were paying for them, what they did most of the time, etc. We didn’t speak much about the Church, which was great because I wasn’t sure there was a God, and I really wasn’t interested in religion. However, I was very impressed that they felt strong enough about their religion to serve (at their own expense) two-year missions.
Sometime later they left, and I thought that was the end of that; in other words, I didn’t expect to see them again. A few days later, to my great surprise, they stopped by the house again. As before we just visited and didn’t speak much about religion. This went on for a few weeks, and we became friends. At that point, and I don’t remember how it happened, they started teaching me the missionary discussions. Most of what they said, particularly the plan of salvation, made a lot of sense to me. Also, whenever they taught, I felt something that I hadn’t felt prior to meeting them, and it felt really, really good.
At some point the elders told me I had to do three things in order to determine the truthfulness of their message – I had to read the Book of Mormon, pray, and come to church. Reading wasn’t a problem, I was already reading the Pearl of Great Price, as well as assigned sections in the Book of Mormon. I didn’t know much about prayer, but I was willing to try it. Coming to Church was another story – I didn’t want to go because I just couldn’t see myself as a “Church goer.” But the Elders persisted so I went to church and actually enjoyed it.
About prayer – at some point I decided to try it, so I went to my room, kneeled down, and asked God if everything I had been taught, especially the Book of Mormon, was true. I did not receive any kind of answer – I felt nothing. However, the next day or so I tried again, and this time I just had a feeling – in my head and in my heart – that the Book of Mormon was true, and furthermore, that I should act on this feeling. I then decided it was time to be baptized. When I told my mother, I was shocked by her response – she was very disappointed. I had the feeling that she felt that I was somehow rejecting her, which didn’t make any sense to me. She wasn’t angry, just hurt and disappointed. My older brother said I was a jerk. However I had my witness (actually many witnesses), so I went ahead and was baptized July 31, 1976. I’ve never regretted my decision. Looking back, I know it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
I’d now like to explain the title of my talk. I gave a devotional in 2005, shortly after I was released as bishop of the BYU–Hawaii 1st ward. Here’s a picture of the announcement flyer. In that talk, I related some of the experiences that I had as bishop. It’s now been eight years, and a few of those experiences still stand out to me, so I will repeat them. I will also add many new ones.
Here is an old photo of my family – I showed this in 2005. Here’s a recent photo. You’ll notice that we have two new members – Joshua’s wife, Sharlie, and their baby Koen Kyoshi Weber. Here are some interesting things about Sharlie. Sharlie’s family and our family were in the same ward in Illinois when Joshua and Sharlie were little. When I served as a campus bishop, Sharlie was in my ward. After Sharlie returned from her mission in Japan, she met Joshua for the first time since they were little, here on campus. You can finish the story.
I’d like to tell you about the circumstances of Koen’s birth. On Father’s day last year, in Sharlie’s 31st week of a very healthy and uneventful pregnancy, her water broke. They then went to the hospital, and Sharlie was immediately admitted and told she would remain there until the baby was delivered. This is not as routine as it sounds. It is best for the baby to remain and develop inside the womb as long as possible; but, once the water breaks, the risk of infection also increases with time, so it’s a bit of a balancing act.
Of course this was totally unexpected, and the timing could not have been worse (is there ever good timing for such a thing?). Sharlie was working full-time, and Joshua was in his last semester of an accelerated master’s program in architecture, finishing up his final projects. In addition, Joshua was applying for architecture jobs.
The doctors determined that Sharlie would be induced July 5, the beginning of the 34th week. However, the night before, she developed a fever of 104 and began having contractions. Obviously, this was a very scary time for all of us. To quicken the labor and decrease the chances of the infection transferring to the baby, she was immediately induced. Koen was born at 12:07 a.m., July 5, and immediately placed in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Koen weighed 3 lbs 14 oz at birth – he was tiny. The doctors said Koen would likely remain in NICU for 2 months, but he made good progress and was released after only 16 days.
What are the lessons here? 1) We all have trials. Count on it. 2) What is important is how we respond to our trials. I never heard Joshua or Sharlie ask, “Why is this happening to me?” or anything similar to that. Their attitude was more in line with, 1) many others have much more difficult trials, 2) we are in a good hospital with great people and equipment, so everything will work out, and 3) what can we learn from this?
Brothers and sisters, when we are enduring trials, we should never ever ask the question, “Why me?” We have no right. Remember what Joseph Smith was told in Liberty Jail.
“Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?” (D&C 122:7-8).
Here’s a wonderful quote by Elder Packer from a recent Gospel Doctrine lesson:
Until you have a broad perspective of the eternal nature of [the plan of salvation], you won’t make much sense out of the inequities in life. Some are born with so little and others with so much. Some are born in poverty, with handicaps, with pain, with suffering. Some experience premature death, even innocent children. There are the brutal, unforgiving forces of nature and the brutality of man to man. We have seen a lot of that recently.
Do not suppose that God willfully causes that which, for His own purposes, he permits. When you know the plan and the purpose of it all, even these things will manifest a loving Father in Heaven (The Play and the Plan [satellite broadcast, 7 May 1995], 1–2).
And here’s a verse of scripture that we should always remember, “And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things” (1 Nephi 11:17).
Now I’d like to tell you about a former ward member, Joy. One day after church, Joy and I were visiting and she told me that she would be missing the next few Sundays because she would be traveling. That was it – no details, and I didn’t feel any need to ask.
Shortly thereafter, I learned from others in the ward that Joy was a professional surfer, and she was travelling all over the world to participate in surfing competitions.
When Joy returned, I welcomed her back and didn’t ask about her surfing, and she didn’t mention it, either.
What’s the lesson here? The virtue of humility. Joy was a professional surfer, but that didn’t define her, and she didn’t let it go to her head. We don’t see humility much in the world today, do we? “God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” (James 4:6).
As a postscript, in July 2008, Joy became the first Hawaiian surfer to win the Women’s Longboard World Championship held in France. I’ll have more to say about Joy later.
Here’s another experience I had as a bishop. One day a couple in the ward – a very sweet couple – came to see me. By the look on their faces I knew something was horribly wrong. I asked how I could help them and they quickly confessed to breaking the law of chastity on multiple occasions. I couldn’t believe it – I was really shocked.
Sometime during the conversation I asked why they had finally decided to come and see me about this. The brother related the following experience: One day he was walking past the temple on his way to campus, when a woman in a wheelchair asked him for a priesthood blessing. He was an elder, so he agreed to do it. He placed his hands on her head, and attempted to bless her, but nothing came out of his mouth – he couldn’t speak. He was unable to use the priesthood to give a blessing. He had no power. Why? Because he was unworthy, and he knew it, and he knew that God knew it.
What are the lessons here? 1) “The rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and ... the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness” (D&C 121:36). 2) Wickedness never was happiness. The only way to have a peace of conscience is to repent. Alma the Younger learned this lesson: “Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy” (Alma 36:21).
So, brethren, each of you in this audience, are you worthy to give a priesthood blessing right now, this very second? If not, repent, and, if necessary, go see your bishop.
Here’s an experience I had in my first year as bishop. I needed to call a new Relief Society president, and I didn’t have much time to do it – I don’t remember why. My student ward had over 200 members, the vast majority sisters; thus there wasn’t enough time to interview each sister. What would you do if you were in my situation? Pray! I prayed a lot about this. I knew I could not do this by myself, but I had confidence that I would receive divine help.
Within a day or two, one of the sisters in the ward came to my school office just to say hi – that’s what she said, anyway. We chatted for a short time, and it became crystal clear to me that I was talking to my new Relief Society president. So I extended the call. She was pretty shocked, but I knew she was the one Heavenly Father had chosen to be the new Relief Society president.
What’s the lesson here? Heavenly Father was aware of Mike Weber – an inexperienced newly called bishop who needed help. And I testify that if He is aware of me, He is aware of you as well. I know that is true.
Here’s a more recent experience. A few months ago I was riding my bike back to Laie from Haleiwa. I was on Kam Hwy approaching the Pupukea Foodland. The wind was very favorable, and I had a green light, so I was going fast – for me, anyway. Suddenly a car coming in the opposite direction turned directly in front of me to enter the Foodland parking lot. Unbelievable! The only way to avoid hitting the car was to bear left into the oncoming lane, which just happened to be completely free of vehicles. I did so, and escaped unharmed. After I stopped and calmed down, I reflected on how unusual it was for the opposing lane to be empty on a Saturday at around 11:30 a.m. Then I rode home, and forgot about my near-miss.
The next day we had our weekly Skype call with our daughter in Los Angeles and one of the first things she said was, “Dad, are you being careful when you ride your bike?” I thought that was a pretty silly question so I brushed it off with something like, “Yes, Lisa...” I then said, “Why do you ask?” She replied, “Yesterday, three times, I had a distinct impression that you were in trouble on your bike, so I prayed for you each time.” Wow. I then explained to my family what had happened the previous day.
What’s the lesson here? Heavenly Father is aware of Mike Weber. And I testify that if He is aware of me, He is aware of you as well. I know that is true.
Here’s another experience I had as a bishop. One day a wonderful engaged couple came to see me. They said they were in the habit of giving each other good-night kisses before they went their separate ways each night. I thought to myself, nothing wrong with that. However, they said they started having certain feelings that they were uncomfortable with when they kissed each night. This bothered them – a lot. They wanted to be completely worthy when they went to the temple to be married. So we talked together. A few days later I received an email from the couple; here’s an excerpt:
“We have been substituting good night kisses with goodnight letters... It has been really cool! Each day I am trying to find things that inspired me that I can share with him, and it is compelling me to pay closer attention to his good qualities so that I can complement him at the end of the day... I feel much better, cleaner...”
Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying there is something wrong with goodnight kisses. I am saying that if they cause you to have uncomfortable feelings, you need to do something about it so that you will have a peace of conscience. This takes spiritual maturity and a great deal of self-control and courage. It takes spiritual power.
I’d now like to talk about one way of obtaining spiritual power – it’s called the principle of obedience. Here’s a quote from President Ezra Taft Benson, the 13th president of the Church:
“When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power” (in Donald L. Staheli, in Conference Report, Apr. 1998, 108; or Ensign, May 1998, 82).
I’ll repeat that. “When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power.”
Power. Power to have prayers answered, power to receive personal revelation, power to overcome our weaknesses.
I’d now like to discuss one specific area on this campus where obedience can be improved. I will discuss the BYU–Hawaii dress code.
Here’s a quote from the May 2008 issue of the New Era, the Church magazine for youth – it’s from an interview with my former ward member Joy, the world champion surfer:
When a Hawaiian swimsuit company approached surfing pro Joy Monahan and offered to be her sponsor, the Honolulu native had some reservations. “I told them, ‘I really only wear modest one-piece suits.’” So they worked with Joy to design a swimsuit that was both modest and functional for surfing. They even named it after her, and it has since become one of the more popular swimsuits of their line.
I earlier asked the brethren if they were worthy to give a priesthood blessing. I would now like to ask everyone in the audience, especially the sisters, is your clothing, especially your swimsuit, modest? Are you following the BYU–Hawaii Honor code? Let me read part of it to you.
“Clothing including swimming suits must be modest in fabric, fit, and style (no bikini, two-piece, or French-cut styles).”
This applies both on and off campus – even during the break! In fact, dressing modestly applies all the time for all Latter-day Saints.
Here are a few lengthy quotes quote from President Spencer W. Kimball, the 12th president of the Church, from a talk he gave at BYU Provo:
One factor contributing to immodesty and a breakdown of moral values is the modern standard of dress and grooming. We must be different. We need not do anything we do not wish to do. We can create our own style and standards.
It is my understanding that each student who enrolls in this great institution and its sister Church institutions understands before coming here what the rules and regulations are, and he or she signs the enrollment sheet with a firm promise to obey those rules and regulations. For a young woman to wear short skirts or other immodest wear when she has covenanted otherwise would not be a matter of cleverness in escaping detection but a definite blot on her character.
Should any young man promise to observe certain standards of dress or hair length or behavior and then evade those restrictions, certainly his error is deep-seated and is not just a difference of opinion. It is nothing to joke about, but a black mark on his character.
If I could not agree with the rules, I would hand back my registration slip and say, “No, thank you. Since I cannot agree and since I do not intend to live the rules, therefore I will not pledge something that I will not do.” Or I would say, “I have decided to dress immodestly or wear my hair inappropriately; therefore, I will find a school which does not require me to so pledge. I will not enroll. I will not sign to do one thing and then do another.” That is what my integrity would make me say if those were my feelings.
Keep your promises, my young people. (Brigham Young University Speeches, “On My Honor,” 12 September 1978)
Here’s a quote from Elder John Groberg, formerly of the Seventy – most of us know about him from the movie “The Other Side of Heaven”:
I have always felt that it is infinitely more important to stand approved in the eyes of God than to stand dressed in the latest fashion.
The [For the Strength of Youth] booklet also warns against wearing immodest clothing: “If you wear an immodest bathing suit because it’s ‘the style,’ it sends a message that you are using your body to get attention and approval, and that modesty is not important.”
Dressing modestly is a mark of spiritual maturity. You should already be developing this kind of maturity as you prepare to go to the temple. Learning to dress modestly now means you will have fewer dress or style conflicts when you finally receive the privilege of wearing temple garments” (March 1992 New Era).
I love that last phrase – the privilege of wearing temple garments. It is a privilege.
I’ll close with a quote from the Savior of the world: “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23). Note the use of the word daily.
Brothers and sisters, I testify that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I testify that Heavenly Father is aware of each of us, and loves us, and wants us to be happy. I testify that there’s only one way to peace and happiness – and that is God’s way.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.