Aloha brothers and sisters. Thank you Brother Preece for the introduction and for your friendship. Thank you President Tanner for providing me with this opportunity to formally say goodbye to the BYU-Hawaii community.
As Brother Preece mentioned, this is my final semester here at BYU-Hawaii, and in November I will be leaving Laie. I want to begin by acknowledging the profound effect that this university and this community have had on my life. While perhaps not yet a realized latter-day Zion, still I have met, worked with, been mentored and befriended by many truly Christ-like men and women during my 20-year tour of duty here in paradise. I thank God for bringing me here and allowing me to serve here for these years. I love this place.
I grew up in a non-member family less than 50 miles from the Hill Cumorah in Palmyra, New York. In those days there were very few Mormons in and around the birthplace of the Church. So few members that the Hill Cumorah stake to which I belonged encompassed the entire state of New York. I didn’t know any Mormons. I knew nothing at all of the church. To the extent that I had even heard of the word “Mormon”, I assumed it was an “old timey” Christian sect, kind of like the Amish. I guess I wasn’t the only one, because when I told my friends that I had joined the Mormon church, they said “well what are you doing here? Where are your clothes?” They apparently thought I should be plowing fields in a straw hat behind a team of horses.
I was at the time a young married adult working as an apprentice butcher when Utah Elders Sullivan and Lemon knocked on my door in the winter of 1968. It seems amazing to me in retrospect that I let them in. I wasn’t a religious person. Hadn’t grown up in a religious family. Wasn’t deep enough to be searching for the meaning of life. I don’t think that anyone thought I was a particularly promising young man. I was kinda like Rocky, just another bum in the neighborhood - an unlikely conversion prospect for sure.
But Elder Sullivan and Elder Lemon were both about my age. And they obviously WERE promising and impressive young men. They befriended me and taught me. I didn’t know anything about the scriptures or doctrine or apostasy or restoration. But I loved and trusted the elders and I believed what they told me. The spirit testified to me in a very subtle way. I gained the tiny seed of a testimony, gave up my sins, (at least the ones I recognized as sins at the time) and was baptized. Again in retrospect I marvel that I opened the door.
I became part of a very small branch on the Cattaraugus Indian reservation – which coincidentally was the location of the very first missionary effort of the restored church. In 1968 the branch consisted of 4 active priesthood holders and about a dozen Indian women and their children. As the only male convert in their living memory, I was kind of a celebrity in the branch, and the branch family eventually convinced me that I had potential that could only be realized by going to college at BYU. So about 8 months after joining the church I became a freshman at BYU in Provo.
I loved everything about BYU. There for the first time, I developed a real love of learning that has stayed with me since. But being there was also a spiritual challenge that I did not fully comprehend at the time. I had what I thought was a testimony. I was “somebody” among the saints of the Cattaraugus Branch. I was pretty happy and satisfied with myself. But in Provo I felt constantly inferior to my Wymount Terrace neighbors, all of whom were lifelong members and returned missionaries.
I lived in married student housing. I was just 19. Most of these guys (my neighbors) were 6, 8 or 10 years older than me. When the men in my student ward bore their powerful testimonies, and told of their missionary experiences, I began to question my own testimony. Did I really KNOW BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT that the church was true? I thought it was. But I had had no miraculous experiences, no discernible burning in the bosom. I didn’t have this more mature, more developed kind of a testimony that I witnessed at BYU. I really didn’t measure up.
I was losing confidence in my own testimony. I didn’t understand the doctrine and concept of progression. I just thought the other guys were more worthy than me. I thought God loved them more. I did not have a vision of the next steps available to me. And I especially did not grasp my obligation to act and not simply wait to be acted upon.
I know from talking to students here at BYU-Hawaii over the years that many of you (though certainly not all) feel this same kind of spiritual inferiority. I want you to know that its not inferiority at all. It’s a plateau. You’re stuck. I want to help you understand how to move on. Sometimes I’ve been a slow learner in life. It took me a long time to figure this out.
I like to think of the mortal portion of our eternal progression as consisting of steps or stages. I think of the first two steps as: testimony and conversion. I also sometimes think of these stages as: clean hands and pure heart. Ideally we move continually upward from one stage to the next as we strive to keep our second estate. But for most of us, we get stuck somewhere along the way. We plateau – sometimes for many years. We will maximize our joy in this life if we can get unstuck and move on. But to do so, we need to act. I’d like to use the life of the apostle Peter to illustrate.
Peter is consistently portrayed in the scriptures as enthusiastic and impetuous. When you see a Hollywood portrayal of Peter, he’s always a serious old gray beard of angelic demeanor. But I think of Peter as young, idealistic and excited. He’s like a lot of you. It’s interesting to me that while God loves us all he consistently chooses this character type to lead the dispensations of his kingdom. I see Joseph Smith for example as being a personality much like Peter.
I hope I don’t offend anyone by suggesting that both Peter and Joseph Smith were spiritual entrepreneurs. What is an entrepreneur (other than a word no one can spell)? While we normally think of business entrepreneurs, we also speak of non-business people as being entrepreneurial - and by that we mean that in some context such people are full of determination, willing to take risks, they crave personal progress, they are resilient in the face of failure, passionate about the enterprise, and adaptable. The savior’s parable of the unjust steward in Luke chapter 16 suggests that our Lord wants us to be entrepreneurial in our spiritual progression.
The parable tells about a business manager who is about to get fired by his boss.
In anticipation he comes up with a plan to get other people to take care of him after he gets fired. He scrambles around trying to find ways to succeed in terms of worldly wealth displaying many of the traits of an entrepreneur – although ultimately he uses dishonest means (which is not entrepreneurial). Still despite the apparent dishonesty, when his master finds out about it, he COMMENDS the dishonest manager – meaning he tells him “atta boy – good job”. Then Jesus explains:
“for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light” [1]
Meaning that the Lord recognizes how resourceful and entrepreneurial we are in terms of our worldly welfare, but that we don’t dedicate the same kind of effort and passion to our spiritual progression and the resulting “true riches”.
Think about it. You understand that to get a good job or to buy a house or to start a business you will be willing to scramble around and use a lot of energy and ingenuity to achieve your goal. Are you willing to approach your spiritual progression in the same way? Or will you plateau with your “young” testimony, trying to be obedient, most of the time, even though it’s hard?
The Lord said:
“I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would that thou wert cold or hot. So that because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.” [2]
Entrepreneurs may be many things, but they are never lukewarm. Peter was a spiritual entrepreneur, so was Joseph Smith, so I think are all those who make good progress in the second estate. They are full of determination, passionate, resilient, and adaptable. They are not satisfied to sit on a plateau – not moving forward. They act. They don’t sit on their plateau waiting to be acted upon.
Back to Peter: Peter and his brother Andrew had been disciples of John the Baptist. Brother Andrew was present when John declared of Jesus that he was the Lamb of God. Then Andrew went to Peter and told him “we have found the messiah”. Later Jesus passed by the two brothers fishing and said: “follow me and I will make you fishers of men”. The scriptures say that Peter STRAIGHTWAY left his nets and followed him. Peter immediately gave up his former life to follow Jesus – he acted.
Later, after having spent some time following Jesus and hearing him teach and observing Him, Peter developed and bore his testimony. The savior asked
“Whom say ye that I am? And Simon Peter answered Thou art the Christ, the Son of the Living God”. [3]
Peter had a testimony – a strong one, but his progress was just beginning. The Lord had much more in store for Peter, as he does for you.
I want you to understand that a testimony of Jesus Christ and of his restored church is not our objective. Even Satan and his followers have testimonies:
“Thou believest there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble”. [4]
But the devils are not saved. A testimony is necessary, but not sufficient. It can become a plateau. It is a prerequisite to our goal of becoming one with our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
So what’s the next step? And how do we take it? We gain a testimony when the Holy Ghost testifies to us that Christ lives and that he loves us. That testimony, that love motivates us to obey God’s commandments. Obedience is required to take the next step. I don’t think in the end that we obey out of fear that we’ll be cast down to hell. We obey out of love.
“We love him because he first loved us”. [5]
We fear God in that we dread disappointing the one we so dearly love. Fasting, prayer, practice, and determination will help increase our obedience. You will not be able to move to the next level until you are obedient to God’s commandments. You know the ones you’re having trouble with. Work on those. Become obedient. But even then, obedience itself is NOT the goal. It’s just another prerequisite. To be obedient is to have clean hands. We also need to develop a pure heart.
The next step is what in this talk I am calling conversion. It is also spoken in scripture as being born again, the mighty change, purification, or sanctification.
Back to Peter: He gave up his nets and followed Jesus for three years, witnessing His miracles, hearing His teachings, sharing His life. Surely he was obedient to all the Lord commanded of him. He had even experienced the transfiguration in which, modern prophets have revealed, Peter was ordained a prophet, seer and revelator and given the keys for his dispensation. Certainly, no one could have had a stronger testimony of the divinity of Jesus Christ.
And yet – he was not converted. As late as the very last evening of the Savior’s mortal life occurred the following:
“And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you. … But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, (indicating it had not yet happened) strengthen thy brethren.
And he said unto him, Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death.” [6]
Certainly these were not, from the perspective of Peter, idle words. He sincerely meant what he said but would act otherwise. [7]
Later that night, at the Mount of Olives, Jesus prophesied to His disciples,
“All ye shall be offended because of me this night: for it is written, I will smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered.” Peter again responded, “Although all shall be offended, yet will not I.”
Then the Master soberly prophesied, “Verily I say unto thee, That this day, even in this night, before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice.” To which Peter responded more vehemently, “If I should die with thee, I will not deny thee in any wise.” [8]
We all know that Peter did in fact deny the savior not withstanding his great testimony and his valiance, and that upon realizing what he had done, he wept bitterly.
Now sometimes, when people lack confidence and feel they can’t make it, or that they don’t measure up in some fundamental way, instead of trying harder or running faster, they begin to coast. This leads to apathy and lack of commitment. I think this is what happened to Peter. I know it happened to me. It may be happening to you. Thus we are stuck on the plateau of testimony – never moving forward.
Back to Peter: On Easter morning came the resurrection followed by 40 days of teaching by the risen Lord. Peter was there. He knew he had been called to lead the church, and yet in John chapter 21 we read that several of the disciples were together in Galilee and “Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing. They say unto him, We also go with thee”.
He’s going fishing?!!! After all this he’s going fishing? What’s going on? Well I think that Peter thought he had blown it. That his calling to lead the church had been invalidated by his denial of the savior – that he was unworthy – didn’t measure up – wasn’t celestial material after all. That’s when the Lord returned one last time and taught him how to move on to the next step, how to be born again, how to become a new man.
So Peter is out on a boat fishing with his friends when the resurrected Lord shows up on shore and tells them to throw their net on the other side of the boat. When they do and then take in a miraculous catch, the always determined, passionate Peter recognizes the man on the beach as the savior and dives in the water to swim to him, too impatient to wait for the boat. Then they all have a little picnic after which the following occurs (think about what Peter must be feeling here):
15 ¶So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? (meaning the fish) He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.
16 He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
17 He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
18 Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not. [9]
What does this mean? Remember the Lord has told us that to Him all things are spiritual. I read it to mean that we are to love the Lord and submit to His will. When you are spiritually young or undeveloped you (like Peter) are willful and headstrong and you girdest yourself and go wherever you want, but when you become spiritually old or mature you will stretch out your arm and go where the Lord leads you even if you would rather not. In Peter’s case, to martyrdom. You submit your will to His. How do you get from spiritually young to spiritually old? It is a gift from God that comes to those who “lift where they stand” to quote President Uchdorf. Give God what you have. Don’t hold back, be a spiritual entrepreneur, and he will give you grace for grace until in the end He changes you or converts you into a new person.
Did it work for Peter? Well soon after, he was filled with the Holy Ghost on the day of Pentecost. He never went back to fishing again as far as we know - and some relatively short time later he stood up to the same Sanhedrin that had previously terrified him and declared:
8 …Ye rulers of the people, and elders of Israel,
9 If we this day be examined of the good deed done to the impotent man, by what means he is made whole;
10 Be it known unto you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom ye crucified, whom God raised from the dead, even by him doth this man stand here before you whole.
11 This is the stone which was set at nought of you builders, which is become the head of the corner.
12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
13 ¶Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus.
18 And they called them, and commanded them not to speak at all nor teach in the name of Jesus.
19 But Peter and John answered and said unto them, Whether it be right in the sight of God to hearken unto you more than unto God, judge ye.
20 For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard. [10]
Obviously Peter was a new man. He had moved to a new level.
How does this happen? Why were my returned-missionary neighbors so much more spiritually advanced than I was? They had had the experience of devoting themselves totally to God, submitting themselves to Him and trusting Him. You don’t have to serve a mission to make this commitment and have this experience, but part of the brilliance of the missionary program is that it provides a vehicle and opportunity to be truly converted early in life.
What will conversion mean to you in your own life? Why will it bring you joy and happiness? The Book of Mormon provides an example of the fruits of conversion in Mosiah chapter 5. In the previous chapters King Benjamin gave his famous exhortation to the Nephites. Then in chapter 5 it says:
1 And now, it came to pass that when king Benjamin had thus spoken to his people, he sent among them, desiring to know of his people if they believed the words which he had spoken unto them.
2 And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. [11]
Glen L. Pace “There is a vast difference between being good and doing good. Imagine how free we would be if we were able to express our true feelings through our actions rather than restraining our actions to hide our true feelings. We all should be striving for a disposition to do no evil, but to do good continually. This isn’t a resolve or a discipline; it is a disposition. We do things because we want to, not just because we know we should.” [12]
That’s the difference between testimony and conversion. It is the difference between having clean hands and having a pure heart.
President Tanner has challenged us all to make this a Zion University. And what is Zion? It is where the pure in heart dwell.
We are sons and daughters of God. He sent us here to progress and return to Him.
“Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart;”. [13]
The Old Testament is testimony and obedience and the law of Moses – clean hands. It is the Aaronic Priesthood. It is preparatory.
The New Testament is conversion, sanctification – pure heart. It is the Melchizedec Priesthood. We are meant to move from one to the next. And when we do, when we are truly converted and have no more disposition to do evil but to do good continually – are we finished with our mortal progression. NO! There’s still spiritual graduate school. There’s consecration, becoming one with our Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. But that’s a subject for another day.
My brothers and sisters. Don’t be content – be entrepreneurial in your spiritual progression. Act. Don’t lose heart and coast. Don’t plateau. Move on. You are the youth of the noble birthright engaged in the greatest enterprise in the universe. To this I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
[1] Luke 16:8
[3] Matt 16:15–16
[4] James 2:18
[5] 1 John 4:19
[6] Luke 22:31-33
[7] Richard G Scott
[8] Mark 14:27-31
[9] John 21:15-18
[10] Acts 4:8-20
[11] Mosiah 5:1-2
[12] Glen L. Pace
[13] Psalms 24:3-4