I am truly humbled and grateful for the opportunity to speak here today. I was born and raised right here in Laie on Iosepa Street. I graduated from Kahuku High School and then attended this great institution of BYU-Hawaii. I love the experience I had here, the friends I made, the education I received, and how my testimony of the gospel grew. I recall the moments I spent here in the CAC at devotionals with reverence and fondness. I felt the spirit touch my soul and learned many great lessons of the gospel, the atonement, and about life in general right here in devotionals. I prayed and pondered about what I could share with you today that would be of worth, what is the best that I have to offer? And it came to me clearly: the most valuable thing I have, besides the gospel of Jesus Christ, is the people in my life. My husband, my children, mine and my husband’s parents, my siblings, my extended family, my friends and my whole community, really.
The mural at the front of the McKay foyer is a depiction of the scene that preceded President David O. McKay’s vision of what would be a center for education here in Laie. In 1921 at the local Church grade school he witnessed a flag-raising ceremony by Hawaiian, Haole, Chinese, Japanese, Portuguese and Filipino students. He said, “That ceremony brought tears to my eyes. Truly the melting pot but more impressive than that was our assembly in the old chapel that stood by… There we met as one, members of the Church, the Restored Church of Christ. What an example in this little place of the purposes of our Father in Heaven to unite all peoples by the gospel of Jesus Christ." (David O. McKay) It’s all about the people.
In the 1958 ground breaking services for the Church College of Hawaii, President McKay explained, “One man said the world needs men who cannot be bought or sold, men who will scorn to violate truth, genuine gold. That is what this school is going to produce." (David O. McKay) Again, people. People with character and integrity.
If you will notice, the slogan underneath the mural reads, Ua Mau Ke Ea o Ka Aina i Ka Pono, which has been adopted as the Hawaii state slogan and is commonly translated from Hawaiian to mean, “the life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness.” This is one of the great, true principles we learn from the Book of Mormon. I was thinking about this and realized that if this is true, the life of the land is dependent on it’s people. The righteousness of the people will determine the outcome of the land, or in other words, “da people gotta be pono.”
There is a saying going around on Facebook that I believe embodies what it means to be pono and be genuine gold, “No matter how educated, talented, rich or cool you believe you are, how you treat people ultimately tells all. Integrity is Everything.”
Today I will share with you three principles to help us as we strive to fulfill the prophecy of David O. McKay by making the people and relationships in our lives count. First, people are our treasures. Second, relationships are built on small and simple things. And Third, treasured relationships require selfless service and even sacrifice.
People, not things, are our treasures
Many years ago I saw a magnet at a shop in the airport that read, “Rich is not how much you have, or where you are going, or even what you are; Rich is who you have beside you.” This saying made me feel good, yes, it even made me feel rich!
It reminds of the scripture found in Matthew 6:19-21.
19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
In his April 2014 general conference address, Elder Michael Teh explained that building family relationships and serving others are two ways to lay up treasures in heaven. He described how he and his wife visited members in the Philippines in early 2013 after they were devastated by a major earthquake and super typhoon. He said that amidst the destruction, people were filled with gratitude for what little they had and what help they had received. He said,
"In times of calamity or tragedy, the Lord has a way of refocusing us and our priorities. All of a sudden, all the material things we worked so hard to acquire do not matter. All that matters is our family and our relationships with others. One good sister put it this way: “After the water receded and it was time to begin cleaning up, I looked around my home and thought, ‘Wow, I have accumulated a lot of garbage these many years.’”(Michael John U. Teh)
President Monson also taught us that we must learn to recognize what is important and what is not. In his October 2008 Conference talk he said,
"Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. ...We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us." (Thomas S. Monson)
President Monson continued to say,
"Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.”"(Thomas S. Monson)
It is my father who first taught me this truth. In fact, this statement “People Count, Things Don’t” has been part of our family mission statement since 1975. It is a saying I have heard all my life. I’ve heard family friends refer to it, we even had a framed cross-stitching of this saying in our living room. It sat right next to the “Do it” quote by President Kimball.
Ever since I can remember until I was a junior in college, my dad was serving in either the bishopric or the stake presidency.
My dad not only told me that people count, he showed me by making feel that I count. Despite all his responsibilities at work and at church, he never missed any of our sports games. We always held family home evening and he was available to take us on campouts, mud-sliding in the mountains, to cheer on the Red Raiders at football games, and to beat us at tennis or a game of Pit. It never dawned on me that he might be too busy for those things because he always made the time.
But most importantly, it is how he reacted to our mistakes that taught me he really lived and believed this principle. One of my earliest memories of this was the time my brother and I left the house after everyone was asleep so we could play in a yard down the street that was decorated for Christmas with large Sesame Street characters. I was 4 or 5 years old and my brother was 6 or 7. He woke me up and asked if I wanted to go to Sesame Street, and I couldn’t pass it up so we went!! Later we were startled to hear the voice of my father talking and laughing with others. He had been at mutual at the chapel and was walking home. My brother and I quickly hid behind the characters, but then I popped my head out and yelled, “Hi daddy!” revealing us. My dad was surprised to see his young children out alone, but I never knew that until much later. What I do remember is that he seemed so happy to see us and walk us home. I didn’t even realize that I should probably get in trouble for visiting Sesame Street that late at night without permission, because what my dad made me feel was loved. That’s what I remember.
Who are the treasures in your life and how do you show them that you treasure them?
My mother-in-law taught me a simple truth in this, you gladly serve those you love. When my husband and I got married, we did not have a wedding reception. This is the way we wanted it. Before our sealing, my mother-in-law kept asking, are you sure you don’t want a party? We said, yes, we don’t want you to have to do all that work, cooking and preparing for a big celebration. And then she said, for you I would love to do it. She continues to show her love through service to us and everyone around her. I know that she sincerely meant it.
Relationships are built on small and simple things
In Alma 37:7 it reads, “And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.”
Like my father showed me, relationships are built on the small things. President Spencer W. Kimball said:
"God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom. . . . So often, our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help with mundane tasks, but what glorious consequences can flow from mundane acts and from small but deliberate deeds!" (Spencer W. Kimball)
The Savior was a great example of this. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf once told of how he tried to imagine the Savior rushing between meetings and multitasking to get things done and he just couldn’t do it. He said,
"Instead I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day. When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. He knew the infinite value of the people He met. He blessed them, ministered to them. He lifted them up, healed them. He gave them the precious gift of His time."
Our Savior showed us how he valued the people around him by the small acts of service he performed. He helped at the wedding feast at the request of his mother by making water into wine (John 2:1-11). He spoke with a woman of Samaria at the well sharing the message of eternal life (John 4:6-26). When the woman with the issue of blood touched his garment he gave encouraging words, “be of good comfort, thy faith hath made thee whole.” (Matthew 9:20-22). When the disciples turned away the little children that were brought to the Savior he said, “Suffer little children, and forbid them not to come unto me: for such is the kingdom of heaven,” and he blessed them (Matthew 19:13-15).
And one of my favorite examples is when He visited the Nephites after he was resurrected (3 Nephi 17). He delivered his message and saw they did not quite understand so he told them to go home and ponder his words and we would come back again. “And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them. And he said unto them: Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you.” (3 Nephi 17:5-6)
Jesus stayed with them. He healed their sick, greeted each person individually, blessed their children, and prayed for them.
This is how we build relationships. It is through the small things, like watching games and spending time with each other. It is through tender mercies and mundane tasks. I have seen innumerable examples in my life that illustrate how the small and simple things make the difference in letting people know that they matter and are important.
My mother showed us her love through consistent upkeep in the mundane tasks. She kept a tidy house, washed our clothes every day, cooked and cleaned and helped with our homework and met all our basic needs. Talk about mundane tasks. But the security, constancy, and love that flowed through these tasks and her diligent service to our family are priceless to me. I cannot measure the value I received from this service. It was also what she didn’t do that is very important to me, she never complained or expressed frustration or hardship about sitting alone with us kids every Sunday at Church while my dad served in various leadership positions. It was just what you do.
My Aunty Sela Feinga built relationships with everyone around her through always having an open house, open arms, and an open kitchen. She also gives great free advice: Go straight home, don’t go crooked. When we needed leis or costumes she would make them for us, in addition to those she needed to make for her own kids. I still remember having the best looking lei in my whole 4th grade class, thanks to Aunty Sela. How special it made me feel at that young age, I always remember that.
Sometimes these small actions seem like a whim, but I believe they are guidance from the Holy Ghost. Like when my mentor and friend, Rose Ram,well, she’s also my boss, but she was a friend and mentor first, drove all the way into Honolulu Airport to welcome her daughter’s future in-laws with fresh flower leis and a warm aloha. You know me? I would have just waited until they found their way out to Laie to greet them, and leis? They would have enough at the wedding! The best small things are those that you don’t have to do, but people are so glad you did because they make you feel loved.
Those who know my father-in-law know he is a man who would give the shirt off his back to anyone who needs it. He recently expressed his love for serving others and explained how he is always looking for someone he can share with or help out. And then he said something so simple that also makes so much sense, “We cannot help others unless we put ourselves in the position to help.”
Right now you are preparing yourselves, through education, to be in a position to help others. You will leave this school to become leaders and an influence for peace in this world.
How do you put yourself in a position to help right now? We cannot help people if we are holed up in our rooms playing video games or watching movies. No matter how willing we are, we will not be able to see the need or have the spirit guide us to people who need us if we don’t put ourselves where we can help. One step to putting yourself in that position is by attending church meetings and accepting callings.
President Uchtdorf said,
“If we fail to give our best personal self and undivided time to those who are truly important to us, one day we will regret it. Let us resolve to cherish those we love by spending meaningful time with them, doing things together, and cultivating treasured memories.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf)
Treasured relationships require selfless service and sacrifice
In John 15:13 it reads “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Our Savior, Jesus Christ, paid the ultimate sacrifice and willingly laid down his life for us, his friends, so that we could have eternal life and exaltation. To cultivate our treasured relationship requires service and sacrifice. It requires that we lay down, or put aside, our own lives for a while so that we may help and fill the needs of others.
Some of the greatest examples I know of selfless service are Labor Missionaries. Both my father and husband’s father served as labor missionaries from Tonga. These were not 2 or 3 year missions, but 5,6 or 7 year missions. For some even longer.
The Labor Missionary program first began in Tonga in 1950 with the building of Liahona College. Local laborers were called to work under the tutelage and direction of skilled contractors called from the U.S. mainland. They built schools and chapels all over the Tongan islands and many Tongans were able to learn a skilled trade that could bring income.
The building mission in Tonga was completed in 1959. The labor missionary program was very fruitful and was replicated throughout the Pacific. Eventually the program was implemented in many places around the world. The Church College of Hawaii, or CCH, opened for classes in 1955 in a temporary campus next to the Laie chapel near the temple. That same year ground was broken for the permanent campus. The permanent CCH campus was built using the labor missionary program. As in Tonga, local laborers in Hawaii were called to serve under the direction of experienced contractors and tradesmen from the US Mainland.
The CCH campus was finished and dedicated in 1958. Not long after this the growth brought about by the college also brought a need for expansion. This second phase of building would also be completed by building missionaries, only this time laborers would also be called from the islands in the Pacific.
Many of those who had already served one ore more stints as labor missionaries in Tonga were called to Hawaii. Many of the contractors and bosses from the mainland were also called again. Many of these men gave up lucrative careers and comfortable retirements to serve with and train these young men. Indeed they laid down their lives for this work.
In December 1959, word got out that Church Building Commissioner, President Mendenhall was back in Tonga. By then many of the former labor missionaries had secured well paying jobs at the newly formed Tongan Construction Company. Some had just recently been married. And others went home to outer islands to be with their families. Yet when they were called to a special meeting and issued the call to serve, they all accepted.
They arrived in Hawaii in March 1960 along with labor missionaries from Samoa. They worked long, hard days. Rising early and staying late. If you know any of these labor missionaries you know they love each other and loved their time on their mission. It taught them to work hard. It’s where my father-in-law says he got all his muscles. And it taught them to play hard and appreciate each other. To this day they commemorate their arrival in Hawaii every March.
They served day in and day out to build dormitories, additions to the temple, the temple visitors center, the temple president’s home and missionary housing near the temple, faculty homes on Moana St., tennis courts and of course, the Polynesian Cultural Center. After two or three years, many of them went on their ways. They got married, some moved to the mainland, some went back home and a few stayed here in Hawaii.
My mom and dad stayed in Hawaii, and in 1964 they decided to build a house in Laie. They leased a lot on Iosepa St. and went about trying to get a loan. They were denied, my dad didn’t have any credit and in those days they did not consider his wife’s earnings in making the loan decision. He was distraught and thought his dreams for building a home were on hold. But then he had an idea. He would build this home Tongan Style, meaning to him, with no money. He asked my mom how much money they had in savings. It was enough to pay for the footing on the house so they began construction. They ordered up the materials and he asked his labor missionary friends to help him. They would continue each week to pay for the materials they could afford and the labor would be free. This group of friends spent all their Saturdays together building this house. It was promised, when this house was done, they would start work on the house for the next guy. They pooled their money and bought machinery and tools they kept in common for use on all the houses. In total they built 6 houses over the course of 10-15 years. With my in-law’s house being the last of the bunch. Each person following suit in paying for the materials but receiving most of the labor free. My parents and the others had the opportunity to own their homes free and clear, because they were willing to lay their lives down each Saturday for their friends!
My Sister Sharon
My older sister, Sharon, laid down her life for me for several years to help watch my young children as my husband finished school and I worked full-time to support our family. This gift of love is so great, it cannot be repaid, but must be paid forward as she has done for us.
The Pink Ladies
I have a group of friends we refer to as the Pink Ladies. We have two sidekicks we call the KKs but they are not in the story today.:) We have been friends for 30+ years. We are family, we once conjured up a family tree from a made-up common ancestor: Captain Cook (well, he’s real, but we just made up the part about him being our ancestor). We learned early on in our friendship family that these were friends and sisters you could call on when you need help; friends who would lay down their lives for a while to lend a helping hand. If you needed something done all you had to do was turn it into a party. Need something sewn? It’s a sewing party. Need wedding favors made? It’s a favor making party. Need your house painted? It’s a painting party. Need walls washed? It’s a wall washing party. Need to raise money? It’s a garage sale party. Need something eaten? Well, we’d mostly go hide and eat it by ourselves, but we always had food at all the other types of parties. Whatever you needed help with? That was our next party.
In time we progressed in our lives, careers, families. Some got married and had children, others moved away to the mainland to pursue opportunities. We went our separate ways but always kept in touch. We are now a bunch of mothers, aunties, teachers, professionals, chefs, aerobic instructors, coaches, seamstresses, crafters, organizers, bakers, entrepreneurs, and singers. You name it, one of these ladies can do it. One of us is not only the mother of her own five children she is also the mother to five football teams; let me rephrase that to add a whole other level of crazy, she is the mother of five red raider tomahawk chopping football teams.
Nothing brings you back together like a friend in need. So what do you do when your own dear sister within the Cook Family is stricken with stage 4 breast cancer with a grim outlook? {show picture of pink party} Well, you have a pink party of course. Lots of them. Pink videos, pink costumes, eating out, driving to doctor appointments, singing, laughing, crying, giving massages, bonding. Our last year with our sister Natasha Vimahi held some of the sweetest, most treasured memories of all. And it came, for a small time, because we laid aside a little bit of our lives to be with our dear friend. There is no greater love.
What will you lay down, if even for a moment, to help your friends?
In my work in institutional research we regularly survey our BYUH students and recent graduates. We ask what they think about programs, services and our offerings on campus. The response on different items can vary for these groups who are still on campus or just recently finished with their time here. What is interesting to me is that the overwhelming majority of alumni we survey very consistently say that if they had to do it all over again, they would choose BYUH. Their comments show that they LOVE this place. Why is this? I believe it is the people; and how you cherish them and they cherish you. When you look back you will remember the people, your professors, roommates, classmates, co-workers, ward members, and community members. This is a place to treasure up people through small and simple things; and to learn the blessings and joy that come when you lay down your life to help someone else.
How are you preparing yourself to fulfill the prophecy of David O. McKay in becoming genuine gold? How will you fulfill the mission of BYUH to become a person of character and integrity? In answering this please remember, to make the people in your lives count.
I am eternally grateful for the many wonderful people in my life. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
References
Excerpts from President David O. McKay’s Church College of Hawaii/ BYU–Hawaii dedication at the Groundbreaking Services, February 12, 1955.
Monson, Thomas S., “Finding Joy in the Journey,” Ensign, November 2008.
Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball, (2006), 79–88.
Teh, Michael John U., “Where Your Treasure Is,” Ensign, May 2014.
Uchtdorf, Dieter F., “Of Regrets and Resolutions,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2012, 22–23.