It is an honor to be with the students, faculty, and staff of BYU–Hawaii this morning. I’d like to thank President and Sister Wheelwright for this special opportunity to speak to you. I would like to thank my wife for that that lovely introduction. I am truly blessed to have had her at my side through 22 years of marriage. I first attended BYU–Provo 25 years ago and cherish the foundation of gospel living that was established in my life by attending devotionals like this. I hope that taking you away from your studies for this time will be a blessing for each one of you. To some degree, I envy the position you are in. It’s exciting to be young, full of life, and looking forward to a life full of dreams. Laie is a special place for my family. My parents both attended the Church College of Hawaii in the 1960s and after they married, raised their seven children on Kauai where many of us live today. I have been serving as stake president on Kauai for more than six years, and it has been a tremendous blessing to provide spiritual leadership for the people on our island. I hope that my message today will inspire and motivate all of us to become better disciples of our Savior Jesus Christ.
We live in a world that is so divided with numerous differences and philosophies. There are countless ways of thinking, believing, and living. There is one thing that all human beings have in common: we all want to be happy. The manner in which we seek happiness varies tremendously. Our Father in Heaven wants us to find the kind of happiness that is everlasting and eternal. Everything in the gospel is designed to help us towards this goal. The commandments, gospel principles and teachings, our families, priesthood ordinances, covenants, temples, leaders, and a living prophet help us to find true joy. His plan for us is called the “great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8).
Many try to find happiness and fulfillment in activities and pursuits that are contrary to the Lord’s commandments. The irony is that they think they are seeking pleasure, but in reality, they are rejecting the source of real happiness. Giving in to the devil, who “seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27) may seem very enticing, but the results are usually very sad, painful, agonizing, and heartbreaking.
I am in my 20th year of working with high school students. I have spent many years as a teacher and athletic administrator. I have observed the trends and tendencies of young people in the islands. Many of our LDS youth strive to live the principles and standards as taught in “For the Strength of Youth.” I could probably write a pamphlet for the opposition. It would be titled something like “For the Shortcomings of Youth” or “For the Deficiency of Youth.” Many make choices that are the complete opposite of what is taught in this church. Improper dress and appearance, vulgar entertainment and media, dishonesty, crude language, distasteful music and dancing, Word of Wisdom violations, and teenage pregnancy are just some of the ills of our society. These are all norms that I observe on a consistent basis. We know the truth of Alma’s warning to his son Corianton: “Wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10).
The enduring joys of spiritual growth, service, and hard work are what we should be striving for. We need to remember that the only way to real happiness is to live the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. A lifetime of strengthening our faith, helping others strengthen their faith, prayer, repentance, and service to our fellow man will bring eternal happiness. I have learned some valuable lessons throughout my life as a husband and father but also by serving as a stake president and working as an athletic director that I think can help all of us understand Father Lehi’s declaration: “Men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:15, 25). I’d like to make sure we are following the formula presented by Nephi when he said, “It came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness” (2 Nephi 5:27). He had recently left his wicked brothers and established a society founded on gospel truths. I believe it a worthwhile pursuit to explore this topic.
Recently, I read an article written by a seminary teacher, Brother Hank Smith, who gave a talk during BYU Education Week on “The Science of Happiness.” He shared some interesting things. He said that it is absolutely clear in science that human beings want to be happy. They cannot get rid of that pursuit. Even evil people pursue things that will make them happy. Type in “happiness” on Amazon.com, and you’ll find 2,000 books on the topic. He explained that happiness hasn’t increased much over a 50-year time frame. Even though technology that is supposed to make a person happy has increased tremendously since 1972, life hasn’t gotten happier. He quoted President Boyd K. Packer: “It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal. Teach our members that if they have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row, to stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life” ( That All May Be Edified (1982), 94). He shared that factors that influence happiness are 50 percent genetics, 10 percent circumstances, and 40 percent activities a person chooses to do. A comparison study was done by the National Institute of Health in 1978 between the happiness levels of lottery winners and people with paraplegia. The study showed that happiness levels were about equal between the groups. Another happiness researcher, Kate Bratskeir, took data from multiple happiness studies from the past 40 years and put together a list of what she called “The Habits of Supremely Happy People.” I’d like to share this list with you.
Ten Things that Supremely Happy People Do:
- Happy people surround themselves with other happy people. Joy is contagious. People are four times more likely to be happy in the future with happy people around them.
- Happy people try to be happy. When happy people don’t feel happy, they cultivate a happy thought and smile about it.
- Happy people spend money more on others than they spend on themselves. Givers experience what scientists call the “helper’s high.”
- Happy people have deep, in-person conversations. Sitting down to talk about what makes a person tick is a good practice for feeling good about life.
- Happy people use laughter as a medicine. A good, old-fashioned chuckle releases lots of good neurotransmitters. A study showed that children on average laugh 300 times a day versus adults who laugh 15 times a day.
- Happy people use the power of music. Researchers found that music can match the anxiety reducing effects of massage therapy.
- Happy people exercise and eat a healthful diet. Eating a poor diet can contribute to depression.
- Happy people take the time to unplug and go outside. Uninterrupted screen time brings on depression and anxiety.
- Happy people get enough sleep. When people run low on sleep, they are prone to feel a lack of clarity, bad moods, and poor judgment.
- Happy people are spiritual.
It is this last point, happy people are spiritual, that I would like to explore to a greater extent with you this morning. The common restored gospel of Jesus Christ that we all share should set us apart from the world. I’d like to suggest my own list of gospel principles that will help us to find eternal joy and happiness.
As an athletic director, I have worked with numerous coaches, athletes, and teams. I have come to find that sports are a great metaphor for life. In the course of athletic pursuits, many analogies can be made to what transpires in a person’s life. There are ups and downs: the endless challenges, constant adversity, and what it takes to meet them head on. As in sports, so is life. I will share seven spiritual life lessons from sports that I believe will help us to live after the manner of happiness.
1. Learn and Master the Fundamentals
Before you play a sport, you must learn the basics or fundamentals: how to play, how to pass, dribble, run, tackle, or shoot the ball. You have to develop the necessary technical and tactical skills to play at an acceptable level. In life, we must also focus on the basics. We must understand what Heavenly Father’s plan is for us to develop the requisite skills and strategies for attaining it.
It takes hard work to bring about success. You are furthering your education and preparing for your life’s work. You are developing good habits that will have great power in your life. Nephi suggested that sowing seeds, reaping in abundance, and the raising of animals of every kind brought joy into his people’s lives. Our 11-year-old son Ala is learning this lesson well. In the spring, he was contacting people via Craigslist in hopes of starting his own chicken farm. He purchased a dozen Rhode Island Red chicks, built them a home and nesting boxes, and has diligently cared for them for many months. When they started laying eggs a few weeks ago, he was overjoyed with his contributions to the breakfast table. I’m hopeful that these lessons and responsibilities early in his life are paving the way for him to develop good work habits that will bless his life. I believe that developing these kinds of characteristics help us be better disciples of Jesus Christ.
We are taught to be industrious people. The mental, spiritual, and physical work about us is endless. Our sense of accomplishment comes when we do well in our world. Elder Bruce R. McConkie (1915–85) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles commented on this vital element of a happy life: “We are here on earth to work—to work long, hard, arduous hours, to work until our backs ache and our tired muscles knot, to work all our days” (“Stand Independent above All Other Creatures,” Ensign, May 1979, 93).
Another habit we should develop is to read the scriptures regularly. This will help us to develop a clear perspective of our eternal goals. The scriptures will help us to resist temptation and comfort us in times of need. They will keep us in tune with the Spirit of the Lord. I love the expression of joy that is described in Elder Parley P. Pratt’s autobiography, in which he describes his first encounter with the Book of Mormon, which he called “that book of books.”
“I read all day; eating was a burden, I had no desire for food; sleep was a burden when the night came, for I preferred reading to sleep.
“As I read, the spirit of the Lord was upon me, and I knew and comprehended that the book was true, as plainly and manifestly as a man comprehends and knows that he exists. My joy was now full, as it were, and I rejoiced sufficiently to more than pay me for all the sorrows, sacrifices and toils of my life” ( Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt, ed. Parley P. Pratt Jr. [1979], 37).
There are many other little habits or basics that demonstrate our commitment and devotion to the Lord. These habits will help us to guard against spiritual apathy. I have witnessed many members of my stake become complacent and be influenced by the world “to be less and less astonished at a sign or a wonder from heaven, insomuch that they [begin] to be hard in their hearts, and blind in their minds, and [begin] to disbelieve all which they [have] heard and seen” (3 Nephi 2:1). This complacency in the Church leads many to believe Satan’s lies, such as “You don’t need to attend church for 3 hours. You’re wasting your time saying your prayers and reading your scriptures. It’s no big deal to watch this movie or listen to that music.” “And thus [does] Satan get possession of the hearts of the people” (3 Nephi 2:2).
Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “True discipleship, therefore, precludes any complacency. The Lord expects us to continue moving the Church forward and even to accelerate our pace toward the literal fulfillment of Daniel’s prophetic vision of ‘a stone … cut out without hands … that … became a great mountain, and filled the whole earth’ (Daniel 2:34-35). To do this more effectively, each one of us needs to follow Nephi’s counsel to ‘press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. [For] if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life’ (2 Ne. 31:20). The power of the Holy Ghost will fill our hearts and minds as we look to the Savior for answers to the many challenges of life.” (“How Is It with Us?” Ensign, May 2000)
2. Mental and Physical Preparation
Elite athletes know that optimal performances and winning games only happen if you are prepared both mentally and physically. You must be in great physical shape to withstand a long, grueling, and demanding season. Equally important is the mental fitness needed that includes a positive, willing, and winning mindset. In life, being prepared both physically and mentally is also essential.
I believe that our best preparation comes from the first principles and ordinances of the gospel. Our baptismal covenants and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost set us on a course in life and prepare us for anything that will come our way. In 2 Timothy, we read one of Paul’s stirring statements that should give us great courage. “Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:6-7).
Paul encouraged Timothy to “stir up the gift of God, which is in thee.” This is an admonition to revive the gift of the Holy Ghost and keep it strong and alive in his life. Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles pointed out, “These four words—‘Receive the Holy Ghost’—are not a passive pronouncement; rather, they constitute a priesthood injunction—an authoritative admonition to act and not simply to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:26). The Holy Ghost does not become operative in our lives merely because hands are placed upon our heads and those four important words are spoken. As we receive this ordinance, each of us accepts a sacred and ongoing responsibility to desire, to seek, to work, and to so live that we indeed ‘receive the Holy Ghost’ and its attendant spiritual gifts” (“Receive the Holy Ghost,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2010, 95).
I have encouraged the members of my stake to make this goal a mathematical problem. I’ve asked them to add to their lives things that bring the Spirit to a greater measure and to subtract from their lives the things that hinder the influence of the Holy Ghost in their lives and families. Truly receiving the Holy Ghost in our lives will bring eternal joy. If you are struggling in this area, you might want to apply a little CPR. Church, Pray, Read. The little fundamentals in your lives will make a big difference to bring a greater measure of the Spirit.
3. Be an Unselfish Team Player
Sports require contributions and cooperation from every member of the team in order to play well and win. Everyone must focus, work together, and fulfill their individual roles for the common good of the team. Trusting in your teammates and understanding that personal glory will not get the job done is critical. In life, it is essential to contribute, cooperate, and share.
For me, there was no better place to learn this lesson than in the mission field. Missionaries join the Lord’s army, and each contribution adds up to a massive worldwide effort for good. I often think of the missionary experiences that I had as a young man in the Canada Winnipeg Mission. Besides the freezing cold, I grew from each experience and each day spent as a missionary. My mission president, Jess Christensen, and his wife continue to be an inspiration to me. They are currently serving as a senior missionary couple here on the BYU–Hawaii campus. They have served a number of missions as a couple. That dedication to the Lord and this church is impeccable. I’ll never forget the counsel he gave me as I left the mission field. He said simply to go home and serve. I have tried to do that ever since. I love missionaries and missionary work. Our missionary son has told us on more than one occasion that the greatest preparation he had for his mission was having the missionaries teach our family and friends in our home. Over the years, we have been blessed to have many of our friends, neighbors, and loved ones join the Church.
Let me tell you a story of a great missionary in our stake. Tyler is a young man attending high school. He loves to share the gospel and is bold in sharing his faith. He started talking to one of his teachers in school about baptism, and there was some interest in learning more. Tyler made a referral to the sister missionaries in his ward, who made a referral to the elders in my ward. The missionaries quickly discovered that this teacher is a neighbor to the stake president. The elders showed up to my home, and the pressure was on. I immediately took them across the street, through the pasture, and to the home of Dave, Bidya, and their two daughters. The invitation was made to come over and continue the discussion about baptism. The missionaries taught all of the discussions, and they were baptized just a few months ago. They are doing well in their early efforts to live the gospel. It’s always a joy to see God’s children accept and embrace the restored gospel. I love the missionary scripture found in section 18 of the D&C: “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God; For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him. And he hath risen again from the dead, that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of repentance. And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth! Wherefore, you are called to cry repentance unto this people. And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!” (D&C 18:10-16). If you are thinking of serving a mission, go. If you have returned from a mission, continue being a missionary and be a part of the team.
4. Be Alert and Aware
The best athletes know how to anticipate the play. They have extraordinary court or field vision and awareness. They know where other players are on the court or field, the other’s player’s tendencies, and the plays that work best against the opposing teams. They have the ability to anticipate and be active, rather than reactive, players in a game. This is one factor that separates great athletes from good athletes. In life, we achieve much more when we are conscious and aware of what is going on around us.
Satan wants us to believe that we are an exception to God’s commandments. We not only offend God by breaking His laws, we offend ourselves and those around us and are subject to suffering and misery, the opposite of happiness. The contrast between good and evil is explained so well by Alma to his son Helaman: “Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy” (Alma 36:21). Obedience is a matter of exercising our agency in a righteous way. In this world, everything has its opposite.
It is wonderful to witness the obedience displayed by members all over the world. Every six months, we are blessed to participate in General Conference and have the opportunity to be instructed by the servants of God. We are often encouraged to keep the commandments, to love our fellow man, to serve, and to rescue the lost or less active. The prophets of our day communicate the voice of God to all the Church and the entire world. We should pay attention and follow their instruction and suggestions. It is inspiring to witness the faithful payment of tithes and offerings and faithful members who live the law of chastity and keep the Word of Wisdom. I feel fortunate to witness the tremendous blessings that come into the lives of members who are obedient to God’s commandments and heed the counsel of his living prophets, seers, and revelators.
King Benjamin gave this wonderful advice: “And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it” (Mosiah 2:41).
5. If Things Are Not Working, Readjust the Game Plan
If things are not working, you have to adjust and then adjust some more. The opponents’ strengths and styles require different tactics. You must be able to withstand and respond to whichever attacks an opponent uses on you. Life is also full of challenges, which require us to adjust our game plan.
The temples that dot the earth teach and orient God’s children to His plan of happiness. They also provide the ordinances and covenants that are essential to attain that happiness. Happy people go to the temple as often as circumstances allow. Utilizing the temples will help us to make the necessary adjustments to move onward and upward in life. The members of our stake often pay a high price to be able to attend the temple here in Laie. Travel costs make it very expensive to attend the temple. However, we have many that regularly make the sacrifices necessary to participate in temple ordinances. I regularly encourage every member of my stake to be a current temple recommend holder. I believe we are happier people when we are living the standards that the Lord has set and are worthy of a recommend. We receive a greater understanding of God’s ways and a greater commitment to living our lives His way.
I love Elder Boyd K. Packer’s expression of feelings about the temple: “When we say temple I would list what in essence are Latter-day Saint synonyms for the word: marriage, family, children, happiness, joy, eternal life, resurrection, redemption, exaltation, inspiration, revelation” ( The Holy Temple [1980], 260). The path of coming unto Christ must include experiences in the temple. The temple is synonymous with happiness and joy. We should be able to see the reality of the Atonement of Jesus Christ in the ordinances of the temple.
The Savior and his teachings were the focus of Nephi’s work. “And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins” (2 Nephi 25:26). Peace and happiness in this world come as we repent of our sins and forgive one another. It is the Atonement of our Savior and his role as the advocate with our Heavenly Father that allows us to readjust our lives.
We understand His love for us as we read the account of His visit to the American continent. “And it came to pass that when Jesus had made an end of praying unto the Father, he arose; but so great was the joy of the multitude that they were overcome. And it came to pass that Jesus spake unto them, and bade them arise. And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full.” (3 Nephi 17:18-20)
It is heartwarming to watch members apply the Atonement of our Savior in their lives. They exercise their faith unto repentance, must learn to repair the hurt they have caused, and master the principles of forgiveness and demonstrating godly sorrow for past transgressions. They continue to adjust and readjust their thinking, speaking, and actions. They follow the Savior.
6. Never Give Up on the Play
Perseverance means never giving up on a play. These athletes get after the ball; they dive for loose balls, outwit defenders, and make every last second count. You must be willing to do the small things that the statistics of the game don’t necessarily reflect. You must never give up, not on the play, not on the game, not on yourself. In life, we must persevere. Never, ever, ever give up.
The way that we interact with others around us will largely determine the level of satisfaction we enjoy in this life. We must persevere in the relationships that we form in life. Many of you may be preparing for marriage in the temple. I counsel you to make it an important objective to live worthy of a temple recommend that you may be ready for this important step in life. Be positive and upbeat about your future, and make sure you are acting accordingly. Once married, be fiercely loyal to one another. The need for belonging and happiness will come in our family relationships. We will experience the greatest joys of life within the family.
Stake presidents become familiar with a good amount of marriages and families that become subject to the enticings of the devil. Marriages relationships can grow cold when one spouse or the other pursues selfishness in one of its many forms. Guard against letting anything but your eternal companion being the top priority in your life. The decision to divorce can have consequences for generations to come. Never stop dating and courting one another. The associations you have with your children, the engagement in worthwhile recreational activities, and the love shared in the home will be among your most treasured memories and fondest remembrances. Our children have certainly provided that for us.
In 4 Nephi, a valuable lesson is taught that will help us build and maintain positive relationships in our families: “And it came to pass that there was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people. And there were no envyings, nor strifes, nor tumults, nor whoredoms, nor lyings, nor murders, nor any manner of lasciviousness; and surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God” (4 Nephi 1:15-16).
7. Accept Both Victory and Defeat Graciously
The goal is to win, but no matter what sport you play, you can’t win every game. It takes blood, sweat, and tears to win a championship. If you give it everything you’ve got, no matter the outcome, you can walk away with your head held high. Learn what it takes to win, and come back and try again. Accepting defeat can help you learn what it takes to win. So it is with life. Everything will not always go your way. There will be both losses and wins. Giving your best shot and learning the lessons along the way make you a winner.
Our goal is eternal life. We strive for that goal each day. The journey of mortality will provide the lessons that will strengthen and refine our souls. Legendary basketball coach John Wooden once said, “Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” I also love what Nephi taught about enduring to the end: “And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save. Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life” (2 Nephi 31:19-20).
Brothers and sisters, may we live after the manner of happiness taught in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. May we apply these seven spiritual life lessons to find eternal joy. I testify that our Heavenly Father loves each one of us. Jesus Christ is our Redeemer. He is our example and our light. May your thoughts, words, and deeds lead to happiness. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.