A week ago Sunday, I was teaching a lesson in my ward’s High Priest Quorum. At the very beginning of the lesson period, a member of the class, a good friend of mine, slid down in his chair until he reached the perfect point at which the back of his chair comfortably supported his neck, and fell asleep. Worse yet, he slept hard until the end of the hour!
Please don’t do that today, at least not all at once.
Brothers and sisters, Aloha!
Let’s start today by using our imaginations and memory.
I’d like you to remember a leader who has had a powerful, lifting effect in your life. A person who caused you to want to be better, but who also helped you to feel loved, even with all your imperfections. Someone who you wanted to follow and support because of their goodness and kindness.
Fix that person in your mind.
For today, I ask you to define that kind of leader as a "gifted leader”.
Would you agree that person was influenced by or had the gift of the Holy Spirit?
What kind of preparation do you think that person went through to become who they are? What kind of price has to be paid to become a gifted leader?
Our Samoan brothers and sisters would answer this way:
"O le ala i le pule, o le tautua."
In English : "The pathway to leadership, is service."
The abbreviated version of our School’s mission is that you are here to learn so that you may go on to lead and build, especially in your families and in the Kingdom of God.
There is an order to this process. Learning prepares us for leading and building. And the process is life long, acting much like an upward spiral. That’s one of the great reasons for your attendance at BYUH.
In an article written several years ago, President Wheelwright said, “Our real charge as a university is not to prepare [our students] for the world we grew up in but for the world they’re going to be in and that they’re going to have to help lead. . . . It is about the total experience, and how well these young men and women are prepared.”1
To lead in the world, of course you will be expected to have mastered your subject matter, to be competent organizers and to produce results. That’s the price of admission. But there is another dimension of leadership, part of what I think President Wheelwright describes as the “total experience,” that constitutes more than just the attainment of skills, but really constitutes a way of being, and that dimension is what will distinguish you as a leader of great influence, a gifted leader, so to speak.
President David O. McKay described it this way:
“One man said the world needs men [and women] who cannot be bought or sold, men [and women] who will scorn to violate truth, genuine gold. That is what this school is going to produce.”2
“Genuine gold” is an interesting phrase. “Genuine gold” suggests that not all minerals that glitter like gold are the genuine article. The same is true of those we call leader. There is a genuineness or authenticity that people want in their leaders which, when present, makes that leader a person of lasting, positive influence…a "gifted leader". That type of leader is highly sought after and always in demand. The opposite is true of those leaders who lack the gifts of the Spirit.
Our family had an experience that reinforced this while on a hiking vacation to one of our favorite national parks known as Yosemite.
Yosemite’s home is the Sierra Nevada mountain range; a geologic wonder that provided the minerals that would give birth to the great California gold rush. "There was gold," as the prospector’s would say, “in them thar’ hills,” and in the rivers too.
At the time of this vacation our kids ranged from our youngest, Michael, about age eight to our oldest, Matthew, about twenty-one at the time.
Just before we took our hike, we made a visit to the gift shop at the park. Aaron, our eighteen-year-old at the time, found some “Fool's Gold" for sale. "Fool's Gold" or “Iron Pyrite” is a common mineral found in the Sierra Nevada so named for its shiny appearance. It’s actually nearly worthless.
So, Aaron devised a practical joke to salt some fool's gold at a shallow river crossing on our hiking path, and trick his innocent eight-year-old brother into thinking he’d discovered an amazing gold deposit.
So, Aaron hiked ahead to a shallow stream crossing to do his dirty work. When the rest of us arrived at the crossing, Aaron encouraged Michael to search the stream bed to see if the gold stories were true. Sure enough, Michael (with some help from Aaron) found his Gold and was thrilled with his new riches…that is, until I told him the truth….
I felt really bad as I watched Michael’s excitement crash to his feet. Although the sting of disappointment was soon over, I doubt Michael will ever trust the announcement of a gold strike again…at least by Aaron.
That day, Michael learned, as most of us do, not all “gold” is genuine - so it is with people who carry the title of leader. Some are gifted and genuine "gold” leaders. But many in our world, unfortunately, are not able to meet the “gold standard” described by President McKay - so the scripture says: “many are called, but few are chosen.”
If you can stand it, I’d like to invite you to Family Home Evening for about 10 minutes. Sometimes in our Home Evenings, we would take deep dives into the scriptures. I hope it’s okay with you. Stay with me now.
Let’s take look at a very important revelation the Lord has given on the topic of leadership, in which he teaches us the difference between gifted or genuine gold leaders and those who have not achieved that. I’m quoting from the 121st Section of the Doctrine and Covenants (and I hope you will pardon the insertion of a couple of words of my own):
" …there are many (leaders and disciples) called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?"
Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson—" (D&C 121:34-35)
Before we go further, what does the Lord say prevents us from being gifted disciples and leaders? It's when our hearts are set upon "the things of the world" (described by Elder Oaks as pride, position, possessions, property and power3). And it's when we crave to be honored by the world.
So, basically, when our mind is wrapped around our own advancement we fail to see:
"That the rights of the priesthood [leadership, power and influence] are inseparably connected with the power of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness."
In the context of leadership then, we can say that the ability to lead others as a “gifted” leader depends entirely on how richly we have cultivated the companionship of the Spirit, or the “powers of heaven.” The Lord continues:
"That [titles] may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man." (D&C 121:36-37)
In other words, it is one thing to be granted the title of leader, but the mere grant of a title does not qualify that leader to be trusted by his or her followers. We are all children of God and have been endowed with a spiritual awareness of those who are guided by worthy motives.
To earn trust, the gifted leader motivates with a primary concern that the Lord’s purposes be fulfilled. Putting the Lord first, provides the necessary balance in leadership. This principle holds true in every set of circumstances; at home, at Church and in the workplace. The props and the vocabulary may differ between settings, but the principles are the same.
"We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion." (D&C 121:39)
The Lord here observes that self-centered leaders are very common, and it’s no wonder since the great challenge of this life is the choice between Christ-centered-ness and self-centered-ness.
The Lord concludes:
"Hence many are called, but few are chosen." (D&C 121:40)
Now He explains how to be a “genuine gold” or gifted leader:
"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood (or any other leadership title you want to insert, including that of parent), only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—
Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;
That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death." (D&C 121: 41-44)
Do you notice that the Lord directs us to lead with virtues that the scriptures use elsewhere to describe the pure love of Christ?
Now, are there times when leaders have to deal with serious challenges? All the time! And, as the Lord reminds, sharpness is occasionally called for and should be applied when the Spirit tells us to.
But if we’ve been inspired to be sharp, to remain a trusted leader, the Lord counsels us to show an increase of love toward the person we have corrected, before Satan has a chance to worm his way in and damage relationships.
We’ve been speaking of the duties of a leader. But what about those of us who are called to follow?
Leaders are not alone in their responsibility to behave well. Building a family, a business or a Kingdom requires a close partnership between leaders and followers, or disciples.
Followers must be willing to be led to fulfill the Lord’s purposes. A gifted disciple supports the principle that a gifted leader’s first responsibility is to the Lord, and to lead the people accordingly.
Among other things, the disciple or follower has a responsibility to receive appropriate correction with humility.
Let’s watch a video segment in which we see this occur between the Lord and His Chief Apostle, Peter. Let’s watch for the correcting moment and the “increase of love”.
[Video]
Let’s talk about discipleship for a minute. As we remembered earlier, the path to leadership is service.
What can we do as learners, followers or disciples to be an influence for good, and to prepare for leadership? I’d like to suggest a few ideas to which you can add your own.
First, the gifted disciple is always trying to live by the pure love of Christ - to love and render service to others.
Sometimes, when we’re concerned about our own ego or advancement, we may be tempted to behave selfishly and engage in negative behaviors like envy, jealousy, striving for position or to be noticed, and as President Hinckley would call it, fruitless, carping criticism. I believe that selfish people are largely motivated by pride and fear.
Selfish people have a hard time listening to others. And as one person put it, selfish people feel a need to be the bride or groom at every wedding and the eulogized person at every funeral.
The gifted disciple realizes, as Elder Neal A. Maxwell once said: “Given the glad reality of who we are, there is no reason to prove anything to anybody after the manner of the world.”4
Self-centered people forget “that all flesh is in” the Lord’s hands.
Gifted disciples, on the other hand, know that the Lord, not man, is really in control. So, as Brother Marcum reminded us last week, disciples of Christ need not fear to do good, even when our pride and fear of failure would prevent us.
This means, among other things that we don’t have to engage in the behaviors of the world that show a lack of understanding about who we are - the sons and daughters of a God of miracles.
Remember, brothers and sisters, our Lord miraculously fed five thousand people and holds our universe in balance. And yet, as Elder Neal A. Maxwell once said, the Lord will micromanage our lives, if we let Him.5
Brothers and sisters, if you’re feeling concerned about the progress in your life, whatever it may be, I promise you that if you will pray for and act with charity, the Lord will reveal individualized guidance to you and open doors for your good according to His will.
Second, the gifted disciple has the faith to be humble and patient. Luke recorded:
"And he (the Lord) put forth a parable to those which were bidden (to a feast), when he marked how they chose out the chief rooms; saying unto them,
When thou art bidden of any man to a wedding, sit not down in the highest room; lest a more honorable man than thou be bidden of him;
And he that bade thee and him come and say to thee, Give this man place; and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room.
But when thou art bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher: then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them that sit at meat with thee.
For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted." (Luke 14:7-11)
Third, a gifted disciple is converted to the Lord’s view of greatness. Matthew records:
"Then came to him (that is, Jesus) the mother of Zebedee’s children with her sons (James and John), worshipping him, and desiring a certain thing of him.
And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom.
And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren.
But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them.
But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister;
And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant:" (Matthew 20:20-21, 24-27)
Similarly, from the Book of Mark:
"And he came to Capernaum: and being in the house he (the Lord) asked them (the apostles), What was it that ye disputed among yourselves by the way?
But they held their peace: for by the way they had disputed among themselves, who should be the greatest.
And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all." (Mark 9:33-35).
Fourth, gifted disciples realize that it’s a distortion to view our own worth by comparing ourselves to others. They remember what the Lord asked Peter when he became concerned about John’s role in the kingdom…the Lord asked Peter “…what is that to thee? follow thou me.” (John 21:22).
Therefore, brothers and sisters:
Gifted disciples are happy when someone else is recognized for an accomplishment.
Gifted disciples acknowledge, give credit for, and applaud the good ideas of another.
Gifted disciples do not think that they will be elevated by diminishing others. Rather, they seek to lift, congratulate and acknowledge others.
They realize that a sincere compliment to a fellow disciple may feel like a cool drink to a parched soul. We compliment and thank each other too seldom, brothers and sisters.
Without condoning serious hypocrisy or wrongdoing, gifted disciples are able to overlook the faults and failings of others realizing that their own faults and failings provide plenty of material with which to concern themselves.
Gifted disciples are not doormats. They are intellectually engaged and ask questions that enhance learning, improving and building. They do not expect their leaders to be perfect nor to make every decision perfectly. But, they are grateful for the hard work and goodness of their leaders.
Gifted disciples give the same respect to leaders that they themselves would hope for if the roles were reversed. They are grateful that the Lord will work through all of us if we will let Him.
When difficult issues and questions arise, gifted disciples find kind-hearted, sometimes private ways to ask their questions or raise their concerns. Knowing how to ask a sensitive question or express an alternate point of view in a clear, articulate manner, without becoming overheated, is a high skill. A high conversational temperature reading is often driven by pride.
Gifted disciples are responsible when they express ideas, considering the tenderness of the faith and feelings of others in the conversation. It is good practice to “think all that you speak, but not speak all that you think.”
Again, gifted disciples are grateful for the goodness of their leader’s lives, for the good they’ve done, and render the heart-felt thanks they would hope to receive if the roles were reversed.
Brothers and Sisters, when the appropriate price is paid in learning and experience, gifted disciples are prepared to become gifted leaders…and both are gifted builders. Charity, a “building” virtue, is always the hallmark of a gifted disciple and a gifted leader.
I have been blessed to know many people who are both gifted disciples and leaders, many of them right here on campus! I hope you aware of the wonderful opportunity you have right now to increase your discipleship in a major way. An education at BYU-Hawaii is a rare opportunity that I hope you treasure.
I’d like to share a story that has inspired me.
We are acquainted with a family who had a son out on a mission. As his mission came to a close, the main office at the Church made travel arrangements for the young man to come home, with notification to his family and the mission office.
The young Elder had served an excellent mission and had served with an equally talented and qualified group of Elders and Sisters who had come from the MTC together, and would return home on the same release date. Many of these missionaries had served in important leadership and training positions, and some still did.
Somehow, the impending release date of that missionary group escaped the attention of the mission president until after all the travel arrangements were made.
Understandably, when he found out, he had a mild panic attack! Imagine losing a sizable group of seasoned missionaries by surprise!
No one really knew where the miscommunication had occurred - certainly the mission president wasn’t looking for problems, it just happened.
As this faithful and stunned mission president started to work his way through pushing back some release and travel dates, some of the missionaries and their families were agitated. “How could this happen?”, “We’ve made our plans already!”. Unfortunately, some unkind things were said about the mission president.
The mother of our missionary friend saw more than a lesson in travel inconvenience for her son, though. Listen to the letter she sent her son (with names changed to protect the innocent):
Dear John (every missionary should get at least one “Dear John” letter):
I've prayed several times before writing this to you. I understand your disappointment! But let's try to see things from a different angle...
First, your President’s request that you to stay on for another five weeks is actually a huge compliment to you! If you weren’t a faithful Elder, he'd be happy to have you on that earlier airplane! It might be that he really needs you to stay! You've been a hard-working and obedient Elder—and he has been a faithful, hard-working Mission President, who is worn out from doing his best to keep the Lord's work going successfully. He's not being difficult, he really does need you!
So, what does that mean for you?
John, you have an opportunity to step up and do something bigger than yourself—for your Father in Heaven. And I PROMISE YOU, HE WILL BLESS YOU FOR IT! I am as sure of that, as the beating of my heart!
I don't know why this happened—why this change in plans came about after you'd already received a release date! Yes, you may feel tired. You feel worn out and ready to come home! That's good too—that means you've served honorably, worked hard, and given your heart to the Lord.
Now, stomp out every feeling of anger, bitterness, and contention you may have right now! Don't give in to backbiting… do not say one negative thing about your mission president. Don't even think it. Picture a faithful leader who is equally tired and looking forward to a rest as much as you are! And then decide how you're going to support him, love him, and sustain him.
You have an opportunity to become an amazing leader by being an amazing follower first. Someday you'll look back (as tired as you are of hearing that phrase) and be so glad that you didn't give in to pride and anger, and grumpily finish out those five weeks like a martyr! You'll be so glad that you gave it your extra everything—that you went the distance and then some! I remember at one point in your mission that you were a little concerned about not serving a full two year mission because of the transfer dates—well, now you're being given the chance to do exactly that, plus a little more.
Be like Nephi. You go and DO!
Love, Mom
The happy ending to that story is, that young Elder listened to the Spirit and finished his mission with distinction.
Incidentally, sisters, we are richly blessed by our gifted mothers!
You might remember that when President Hinckley was a discouraged missionary and wanted to come home, his dad simply wrote: “forget yourself and go to work.”6
Either way, the message is the same!
The point of finishing my talk with that letter is to remind you that your greatest work as a gifted disciple and gifted leader will be in your own homes with your own children. How can you do anything greater than to influence entire generations for good?!
Brothers and Sisters, a couple of ideas in closing:
First, devotionals should not be confessionals, but those of you who know me will have seen distance between what I’ve said, and what I sometimes do. I acknowledge that and ask your forgiveness. I’m trying, and am working on my discipleship to Christ.
I believe in Him. I believe in His power to redeem and make us better in every way because of His atonement. I believe He has re-established His church and that His church is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I know, by the power of the Holy Ghost, that the Book of Mormon is true; our evidence of Joseph Smith’s divine calling as a prophet. I testify that we are led by true prophets of God and that we are safe and happy when we are in the fold.
I believe that we find happiness by using the Gifts of the Spirit to be a blessing in the lives of others.
Your examples of gifted discipleship and leadership mean so much to our family. Thank you, for your strength and goodness.
In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
1 "How BYU-Hawaii Students are Changing the World", LDS Living, Erin Hallstrom. February 15, 2011.
2 Church College of Hawaii dedication. February 12, 1955
3 From author's own journal recordings, having listened to a talk by Elder Oaks
4 Of One Heart, Neal A. Maxwell
5 From author's own journal recordings, having listened to an address from Neal A. Maxwell
6 "Taking the Gospel to Britain: A Declaration of Vision, Faith, Courage, and Truth," Ensign, July 1987, 7.