In each of our lives, there are events, moments if you like, where something happens that has a lasting impression in your mind and which affects the course of your choices in the future. I like to call these events, “Defining Moments.” I suppose most people have them but perhaps many miss the dramatic effect defining moments have on their lives. To miss them, is to miss the influence of the Lord in your life.
Nephi’s Defining Moment
Nephi was the fourth son of a wealthy, well-educated family living in Jerusalem shortly before the Babylonian captivity. As a young man, Nephi fled into the wilderness with his family after his father was warned by God of Jerusalem’s impending doom. After eight hard years in the wilderness, Nephi and his family came to a land by the sea. There God commanded Nephi to build a ship to take them to a promised land. Despite periods of trying opposition from his older brothers, Nephi built the ship and sailed across the sea. After arriving in the Promised Land, his father died, leaving Nephi to carry the lonely burden of leadership amid his enemies. Nephi became the ruler, teacher, protector and priest for a people who called themselves the people of Nephi.
When Nephi died, fifty-five years after leaving Jerusalem, his people honored him by designating all subsequent kings by the title “Nephi” so great was their love for their mighty founding prophet and protector (Jacob 1:1).
While there were many attributes that made Nephi great, there was one defining moment in his life that set the stage for all that would come thereafter.
As a young lad in Jerusalem, Nephi’s father, Lehi had a dream. This dream commanded Lehi to abandon all their worldly goods, to leave their home, school, extended family members; friends and everything that they would have found pleasurable in their established lives and go into the wilderness—forever. Nephi’s older brothers were angry at the thought. But Nephi had a great desire to know the mind of God on the matter.
So Nephi cried unto the Lord. He didn’t just pray, he cried unto the Lord. This reflects the intensity of his prayer and his willingness to abide with the Lord’s counsel. The Lord then visited Nephi. We do not know how the Lord visited Nephi but likely he was touched in his heart by the power of the spirit. The result was—Nephi’s heart was softened and he gained a personal knowledge by the Holy Ghost, that the testimony of his father was true. For him, it was a defining moment. From that time forward he never viewed his father’s commandments the same.
Note how this affected the commandment to obtain the brass plates of Laban:
• Lehi commanded his brothers and Nephi to return to Jerusalem and obtain the brass plates of Laban. The brothers murmured and complained to Lehi because they thought it was impossible to accomplish and the commandment was simply the babbling of a visionary old man. But Nephi, from his
defining moment knew different. He said: “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded.”
• That
defining moment gave Nephi power to overcome adversity and obtain the brass plates.
Snorkeling in the Caribbean
Ross and I used to go sailing. Our favorite place to sail is the Caribbean Sea. We would sail to remote places where the water was crystal clear and the snorkeling and diving was superb.
On just such a day, we found a small collection of remote uninhabited islands and noted the wonderful reef surrounding the islands. It was a great place for snorkeling. We anchored the boat a short way off one of the islands and began our exploration of the reef. The wonderful variety of fish and colorful coral held us in rapt attention. So focused were we on the underwater panorama that we did not realize there was a major current that ran between the islands. The current carried me so much farther than I realized.
I suddenly became conscious that I was alone. I could not see Ross or anyone else. I began to feel anxious about where I was. I could not see the boat and I found myself a considerable distance from any of the islands. Fear began to creep into my heart. I am not a strong swimmer and I truly did not think I could make headway against the strong current which was taking me out to sea and away from the islands.
Unknown to me, Ross was a considerable distance away. We had become separated and he was anxiously looking for me. The slight chop at the water’s surface made it difficult if not impossible to see anything on the surface if it was distant and he could not see me nor my snorkel. I could not see him.
Anxiety gripped Ross and he quickly swam toward one of the small islands. He stood upon a small outcropping and looked for me across the water. Amazingly, he spotted me several hundred yards away struggling to regain the islands against a strong current. He took immediately to the water and swam directly to me. He took me by a life vest harness and towed me to safety on the island.
The thing that astonished me the most was that Ross saw me several hundred yards away as a speck in a choppy sea and he did not have his glasses on. Knowing about his vision, there is no way he could have seen me with his own eyesight. I have a conviction that the powers of heaven enlightened his eyes so he could see me. I shall never forget the impression I had as I regained my composure as we rested aboard the boat. The Lord had intervened. I knew it then and I know it now.
My mother was caring for our children while we were travelling. After we returned, she asked us if we had had any trouble on our trip. She said that she had a strong feeling something was wrong and had knelt and prayed for our safety. The day she had that feeling was precisely the same day that I was struggling for my life in the Caribbean Sea. It was a confirmation to me that the Lord was looking after my welfare and had prompted my mother to pray for us.
I recall this remarkable event in my life every time I wonder if the Lord remembers me or when I am facing a particularly difficult challenge. From this extraordinary experience, I always know the Lord knows me and is guiding my life.
116 Pages to Martin Harris
In each of our lives, there are times when our sins bear down on us with such force that we ask, “Does God still love me after the terrible things I have done?” We may become depressed and wonder if we can ever be forgiven or return to our Heavenly Father.
During these times, we can take comfort in studying one of the more traumatic events in the life of the Prophet Joseph Smith. It was one of his defining moments. Its outcome demonstrated God’s great love for Joseph Smith and for each of us, His children.
Early in life, Joseph Smith had experienced one of the most significant events that could happen to any human being—a visitation by God the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ. This was followed by a period of time during which Joseph was tutored carefully by the angel Moroni; and after four years of preparation, he was allowed to take the gold plates from the Hill Cumorah, and he began to translate them.
However, the translation process went slowly until the Lord sent Martin Harris to be Joseph’s scribe. Martin’s interest in the translation intensified greatly after the Lord appeared to him in a vision. Martin was shown the marvelous work that the Lord was about to do and was told that he must go to New York City with some of the characters copied from the plates to show them to some of the learned of his day, thus fulfilling prophecies in Isaiah and 2 Nephi (Isaiah 29:1–12, 2 Nephi 27:15–20).
What took place during his visit to New York, sometime in February 1828, convinced the skeptical Martin Harris to become deeply involved in the translation of the gold plates, committing both his time and money (Joseph Smith-History 1:63). He acted as the Prophet’s scribe until June 14. By this time, Joseph had dictated at least 116 manuscript pages.
Joseph recorded that Martin “teased” him with requests to take the 116 pages from Harmony to Palmyra. He wanted to read them to his relatives to “convince them of the truth” of the work in which he was engaged. He pressured Joseph to ask the Lord, by means of the Urim and Thummim, whether Martin might take the manuscript. The Lord told the Prophet that he must not let it out of his hands. The answer was the same when Joseph, under Martin’s prodding, asked the Lord again for permission. But Martin finally persuaded Joseph to ask the Lord once more. This time the Lord allowed Joseph to let Martin take the manuscript, but under very strict conditions. Martin had to covenant with the Lord in writing that he would show the manuscript to only five people: his wife, his brother, his father and mother, and his wife’s sister.
June 14 and 15 1828, would be two days long remembered by the Lord’s prophet. On the fourteenth, Martin left with the 116 manuscript pages, which Joseph was never to see again. On the following day, Joseph and Emma lost their firstborn son, and because of Emma’s difficulties in childbirth, Joseph almost lost his beloved wife as well. Over two long weeks, his constant care helped her recover from near death. As Emma improved, Joseph had time to reflect that Martin Harris had not returned or sent word as promised. Joseph did not mention this to Emma, but eventually she brought it up, insisting that he go to Palmyra to see why Martin had not come back.
As the miles of the stagecoach journey rolled by, Joseph’s anxiety increased. He apparently began to realize for the first time the nature of his transgression. His mother, Lucy Mack Smith, states in her biography: “Although he was now nearly worn out, sleep fled from his eyes, neither had he any desire for food, for he felt that he had done wrong, and how great his condemnation was he did not know.” Joseph was so exhausted that he might not have made it to his parents’ home near Palmyra, but for the kindness of a stranger who insisted on accompanying him the last twenty miles on foot. The young prophet had to be led the last few miles, and fell asleep repeatedly as he walked. They arrived early in the morning.
As soon as Joseph received a little nourishment, he asked the family to immediately send for Martin Harris. By 8 AM, they had set the table for breakfast, expecting Martin to arrive any minute. Martin did not arrive until 12:30, however. “We saw him walking with a slow and measured tread towards the house, his eyes fixed thoughtfully upon the ground. On coming to the gate, he stopped, instead of passing through, and got upon the fence, and sat there some time with his hat drawn over his eyes. At length he entered the house,” Lucy Mack Smith wrote. Sitting at the table with the family as though to eat, Martin suddenly dropped his knife and fork and cried in agony, “Oh, I have lost my soul! I have lost my soul!” At this outcry Joseph could restrain himself no longer. “Martin, have you lost that manuscript? Have you broken your oath, and brought down condemnation upon my head as well as your own?” When Joseph’s worst fears were confirmed, he, too, cried out in great agony: “All is lost! All is lost! What shall I do? I have sinned—it is I who tempted the wrath of God. I should have been satisfied with the first answer which I received from the Lord; for he told me that it was not safe to let the writing go out of my possession.”
We can only imagine the turmoil in Joseph Smith’s heart as he thought about reporting to the Lord: “Then must I… return with such a tale as this? I dare not do it. And how shall I appear before the Lord? Of what rebuke am I not worthy from the angel of the Most High?”
Joseph Smith returned to Harmony, Pennsylvania, still reeling from the great losses he had experienced. To his surprise, the angel Moroni appeared, bringing him the Urim and Thummim, which earlier had been handed back to Moroni, but not so that Joseph could resume translation. Rather, he was to receive a chastening revelation from the Lord.
Section 3 of the Doctrine and Covenants stands as one of the great evidences of the Prophet Joseph’s divine calling. As Richard Bushman notes: “[In] the rebuke of Joseph in the revelation of July, 1828, … [t]here is no effort to conceal or rationalize, no sign of Joseph justifying himself to prospective followers. The words flow directly from the messenger to Joseph and have the single purpose of setting Joseph straight.”
“Behold, you have been entrusted with these things, but how strict were your commandments; and remember also the promises which were made to you, if you did not transgress them.
“And behold, how oft you have transgressed the commandments and the laws of God, and have gone on in the persuasions of men.
“For, behold, you should not have feared man more than God...” (D&C 3:1,3-7).
Joseph’s problem was similar to one we commonly face. Sometimes we are more concerned about what our friends think than about what the Lord desires. It is interesting that although Martin Harris was the one directly responsible for losing the manuscript, Joseph Smith received this very pointed rebuke.
The Lord said to Joseph, in effect, “I know the peer pressure was great, but remember that if you’re faithful, I will support you no matter how difficult the pressure gets.”
Joseph had used his divine calling improperly. He had been entrusted with a sacred record, had been granted access to divine help in translation, and yet had succumbed to the enticings of someone whose focus was on something else.
In his great love for us, the Lord indicates that there is still hope. These were his words to Joseph: “But remember, God is merciful; therefore, repent of that which thou hast done which is contrary to the commandment which I gave you, and thou art still chosen, and art again called to the work;”
Joseph was reassured that the translation of the Book of Mormon would not be thwarted because of his misstep. After a time during which Joseph humbled himself in mighty prayer before the Lord, the sacred records and accompanying items were returned to him on a very important date. It was the anniversary of Joseph’s annual visits to the Hill Cumorah, just one year after the young Prophet had originally been entrusted with the plates.
Thus ended one of the great learning experiences of Joseph Smith’s life. For him, a defining moment in which he learned about trusting completely in the Lord.
Ryan and His Rescue
When our youngest son, Ryan, was almost 12 years old, I had surgery on my back. Unfortunately, the surgery went wrong and I was worse off than before. I was told I would need a second surgery to remove some disc fragments in my spine. The pain in my back and leg was terrific and I was bed ridden for some time. Just when I was feeling my worst and anticipating anxiously a second surgery, Ryan came home from school with a serious pain in his abdomen.
Ross had been sharing time with my mother in caring for the children after work and also taking care of my needs. In the evening, Ryan’s abdominal pain became worse and Ross thought he might be having an attack of appendicitis. Reluctantly, he left me alone and took Ryan to the hospital emergency room.
They tested Ryan’s blood to see if his white cell count was elevated—a typical check for appendicitis. Strangely, the white count was almost normal. The doctor was puzzled because the pain in his abdomen seemed so characteristic of appendicitis. The doctor and Ross agreed that Ryan should go to surgery and remove the appendix. Ross waited alone in the surgical waiting room for a long time, occasionally calling me on the phone and reporting what was happening (or not happening, as the case may be). After an unusually long period of time, the doctor came to Ross. He carried a sponge with some of the tissue he had removed from Ryan in his hand. He told Ross: “well, this is the appendix and it is normal but I see in this boy a much more serious problem. It looks to me like there is necrosis in the large intestine.” He told Ross to consult a specialist as soon as possible.
I was beside myself. I was bedridden and unable to move. I could not even go to see Ryan in the Hospital. The prospect of a more serious disease in Ryan was much more troubling than my own condition. I prayed intensely that the Lord would rescue Ryan. Ross stayed at the hospital all night with Ryan and I laid awake in the dark—stuck in my bed.
The next day, a specialist was consulted and she came to Ryan’s room only to find him curled up in fetal position with pain and virtually unable to move. She performed some testing and examinations and after some hours, she told Ross that she thought Ryan had Crones Disease. She sat on the bed next to Ryan and explained that his condition was not curable and would be life-altering for Ryan. He could expect to have a rigidly restricted diet; have limits placed on his activities at school and that he could expect to have a colon resection several times in the next few years. She said that she would return the next day with the results of the tests on his tissue samples and would then recommend surgery to remove some of his colon immediately. Medications and therapy would follow.
When the doctor left, Ryan just cried. He said: “Dad, I don’t want this!” “What can we do?” As Ross repeated the doctor’s report to me, I anguished. I felt so helpless.
After an all night vigil, Ross gave Ryan a priesthood blessing. I was not there to hear the blessing but I know it was given by the spirit. When the doctor arrived the next morning to schedule the surgery, Ryan was standing on the bed and jumping up and down trying to catch some balloons some of his sweet primary friends had brought to him. The doctor watched him for a few minutes, astonished. At last she said: “Well, I don’t know what this kid had, but it obviously isn’t Crones Disease.” He was released to his home and to this day, he is healthy and has brought us 5 of our grandchildren.
I have often mused at the terrible confluence of events that occurred at that time. Why when I am, myself sick and bedridden was Ryan brought to this crisis? Both Ross and I anguished beyond measure as we felt so helpless in the face of a catastrophic illness in our young son’s life. Yet later, when we looked back on the circumstances, we learned this was a defining moment in our lives. When all the efforts of loving parents are exhausted and when the best medical care available is not effective, what do we do? We turned our whole hearts and soul to our Savior and placed it all in His hands. Whatever is His will, from that time forward, we know is acceptable to us.
How many times since have we faced extremely difficult challenges with our loved ones only to then remember this important event and know that as long as we are steadfast in our covenants, the Lord will do for us what is best for us. In that we have absolute confidence.
Christmas Island and Call to Seventy
When President Workman was presiding over the Honolulu Mission, he had the responsibility for a branch of the church on Christmas Island. Christmas Island is a small island which is part of the Republic of Kiribati. We had made many trips to Christmas Island and all of them were difficult. The airplane only travelled once a week so when we went, it was always a week long affair. The accommodations were rustic to say the least and the heat oppressive. Still, the saints there were wonderful and they always wanted and needed spiritual leadership.
On one occasion, Ross told me that we needed to travel to Christmas Island to effect a change in the branch leadership. These trips always taxed me but I agreed to go and we fixed the last week of March 2001 as our travel date. We would leave early on Tuesday and return the following week Tuesday.
One morning early, as we were preparing for a week of intensive missionary zone conferences, Ross said to me: “I have a feeling we should travel to Christmas Island this very week.” I thought briefly that this would mean cancelling already planned zone conferences and otherwise rearranging a very complicated schedule. Besides, I always dreaded this trip and the very thought of moving it up would normally have caused me much stress.
However, to my surprise, I felt strongly to agree with Ross. I recognized it as a witness of the spirit. I immediately said, “I agree.” He was as surprised with my quick response as I was.
We travelled there, accomplished the work required, trained local leaders and did what we could to strengthen that branch. However, as we returned home, I could not think of any particular reason why the work we did there was of such urgency that it could not have waited for another couple of weeks as we had originally planned. There seemed to be no answer to it and Ross and I wondered if we had simply misread the powerful spirit we had both received.
The following week, the last week in March 2001, as we were sitting in a zone conference (one of those we had postponed for the Christmas Island trip), Ross got a page from the mission office. It was one of those rare urgent pages that sometimes meant serious trouble with a missionary. Ross left the conference meeting and returned sometime later. He seemed calm but I could tell he had something important on his mind. We had but barely restarted the conference when he was paged again. He left again and when he returned, he handed me a note which said only: “President Hinckley.” We spent the next several hours in the zone conference and when finally we headed out to the airport, I asked Ross: “okay, what is going on?”
He told me that he had received a call to serve as a general authority in the Seventy and President Hinckley had instructed us to be in Salt Lake City immediately. I then realized that the decision to go to Christmas Island two weeks before was a defining moment. Had we not listened to the spirit and gone on the planned schedule, we would have been away from Hawaii when President Hinckley called. We would have been isolated on Christmas Island and could not have travelled to Salt Lake for Conference. We could not have accepted the call to the Seventy because we could not have been reached and even if we had known of the call, could not have made the trip to Salt Lake to be sustained in Conference. The Lord knew we could not be on Christmas Island at the time scheduled and we did not. That we both were guided remains one of the great blessings in our lives.
There are so many little, focusing moments in which the reflexes of faith are either in place or they are not. Defining moments are preceded by preparatory moments. If previously we have behaved properly, though tempted, or if we have been gentle, though irritated, and if we have reached out to help others, though beset with personal problems, as we meet the defining moments these reflexes will steady us.
I urge you to be vigilant and recognize your own defining moments. You all have had them and will have more. Write them. Remember them. Observe how these defining moments are the way the Lord is guiding your lives and blessing you with blessings promised you because of your faithfulness.