My dear Brothers and Sisters, it is an honor to be with you today. I appreciate the opportunity to be here on campus and be associated with President and Sister Tanner. I am equally grateful to have Ramona my spouse of 32 years with me today. She is my example, my helpmate, my best friend.
On December 18, 1986, she and I went together to the Salt Lake Temple, there to be married for time and all eternity. We were young, return missionaries, eager to begin our family and our lives together. Not unlike many of you here today. We obviously didn’t have all the answers to build a successful life, although, I thought I knew more than I really did. We did have strong testimonies in the Lord Jesus Christ and firmly believed that we could and would prosper both temporally and spiritually if we but kept our covenants we had made in the Temple that day. As I look back now on that wonderful day I fully realize that it was a “Defining Decision” to enter into the covenant of marriage with her in the Temple. King Benjamin in his address to his people stated plainly what Ramona and I believed and have tried each day to live by when he said:
“And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.” [1]
Moving forward during those exploratory years of our marriage required great faith, it also required at times making significant decisions based on faith and the influence of the Holy Ghost without fully seeing the outcomes of those decisions. Fortunately, for us the Lord has blessed us, our temporal needs are met, and we feel the Lords hand in our life spiritually every day. Today I would like to share some of my thoughts and experiences regarding the importance of the decisions we make during these exploratory years and their profound influence on our later lives.
Our professional career has been a wonderful adventure. Our current position with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints allows me the opportunity to work with Prophets, Apostles, and Bishops in designing, constructing, and maintaining temples.
As you are aware, whenever The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints constructs a new temple, there is a dedication ceremony held when the building is finished. The purpose of this ceremony is to set aside the building for the work of God. A Latter-day Saint dedication ceremony includes a special prayer designating the building for Church use and asking God to bless the structure and grounds.
Before the dedicatory services but part of the celebration of a new temple, the church conducts an open house. As you are aware, non-members of the church are invited to tour the Temple which includes a video explaining the purpose of temples and how they are used. [2]
Thousands of people walk through these open houses After the tour the public are invited to make comments regarding their experience. These comments are very telling and touching at times. I have been blessed to hear some of these comments as they comeback to one of the committees on which I serve. An older women who toured the Gilbert Arizona Temple shared the following comment of which I paraphrase:
“Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to tour the Gilbert Temple. The building was wonderful. I felt something I had never felt before. I was touched. When we went through the room where it was identified that marriages were performed I broke down, you see, twenty years earlier my only daughter, who had become a member of your church elected to be married in the Mesa Temple, not allowing me, her mother to be there. Imagine, one of the greatest days in a mothers life, and now I would be denied the opportunity. I was heartbroken, then my sadness turned to anger and spite. Because of this incident, my daughter and I have been estranged for over twenty years. Tonight I plan to go to her house and ask for her forgiveness, you see, if she elected to be married in a holy house like Gilbert then it must have been the Lord’s will. I want to be a part of her life and feel what she feels.” (Elder Kent F. Richards reading a comment from the Gilbert Open House, anonymous women).
One can only imagine the circumstances leading up to the decision for this young women to be sealed in the Temple, under the correct authority and thus leaving out her mother from the experience. She must have had extreme faith. She must have known the truth. She must have loved the Lord. This decision, at her young age, proved to be a defining decision for her life but also a stumbling block to her relationship with her mother here on earth. Imagine what it meant to her Father in Heaven or to the Lord that she would put them first. One would ask? How might she have come to this decision? Did she “ study it out in her mind; then did she ask the father if it be right, did she feel her bosom burn within her and thus knowing that this decision was the right course of action even though it caused years of pain within her own family. It was for her a “defining decision”.
Throughout the scriptures the Lord used the word “Nervertheless” when a defining decision was appropriate or needed to be made:
For example:
To Adam and Eve the Father said:
“Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it, nevertheless, thou mayest choose for thyself, for it is given unto thee; but, remember that I forbid it, for in the day thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die” [3]
The Prophet Nephi, amidst difficult circumstances in retrieving the brass plates from Laban as he had been commanded said the following:
6 And I was lead by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do
7 Nevertheless, I went forth, and as I came near unto the house of Laban I beheld a man,
and he had fallen to the earth before me, for he was drunken with wine.[4]
Nephi knew that the Lord would provide the needed inspiration when it was necessary. Nevertheless, he expected Nephi to act in faith, under his direction, to accomplish the tasks he had been given. He knew that decisions we would have to make in this life would be hard, they would be tough, however he did not stir clear of them, he made a “defining decision” to do what the Lord commanded regardless of having all the information needed to determine the outcome.
Both you and I are given special opportunities to make “defining decisions”. Attending BYU–Hawaii may have been one of those defining moments.
Soon after a short professional baseball career Ramona and I applied and enrolled at Brigham Young University in Provo. It was winter semester, as I recall, so the competition was not as severe. They must have been looking to feel their quotas, or my grades. Anyway, we began what we thought would be two additional years of study toward my bachelor’s degree. Coming from a history of sports and athletics it was a desire of mine to become a baseball coach. Coaching also required a teaching position. We began taking secondary education classes and fulfilling the needed requirements for graduation and certification. The classes were fine, the time spent in the classroom for real practical experience was also enjoyable. However, I began to feel a sense of uneasiness about our future. Could I be an educator for the rest of my career? Would that sort of lifestyle support my family in a way we desired? As these decisions weighed on me for a month or so I came across an old friend and mentor, who was involved with collegiate athletics but from a facility or events perspective. After a twenty-minute reuniting and conversation we parted. To this day I am confident that this fine man was sent by the Lord to give we some clarity. Over the next few weeks and in prayer and consultation with my wife we elected to change our major to one more compatible with events and facility management. I had only three secondary education classes left to complete and now proposed to start an entirely new curriculum. Some would say I was crazy, some of you may know from first-hand experience what this felt like. We, together fasted and prayed and made the decision to move forward with the change in major. At the time we knew that this was significant but didn’t fully understand the long-term impact on that decision. From that day if we’re to move forward 10 years you would find me as a Bishop, one Sunday morning in my office reviewing the mail sent that week from the church. In the mail was a separate flyer advertising a job as the manager for the Conference Center. Since our decision to change our major we graduated with a bachelor’s and masters degree, took a job with the Delta Center in Salt Lake City just prior to is opening, worked there for a number of years then took a job as an Associate Vice President at Utah Valley State College over facilities and planning. We had worked in the event and facility field for over 10 years at this point and now found ourselves qualified for a position with the church running the Conference Center and Temple Square. We took the job after an extensive interview process and haven’t looked back. Since that time I have been able to serve as the Director of Church Headquarter Facilities, Managing Director over Meetinghouses, and now Managing Director over the Special Projects Department. I have the blessing of designing, constructing and maintaining temples worldwide. I am blessed with the opportunity to work with Prophets, Seers, and Revelators. I have traveled the world under the direction of the First Presidency and Presiding Bishopric searching for temple sites, monitoring temple construction and ensuring they are maintained at a level appropriate for a temple. None of these opportunities would have been mine if we had not followed the promptings of the Spirit and made a “defining decision” for our lives. I am truly humbled by our blessings and feel the sense of inadequacy each and every day but at the same time rejoice in the fact that the Lord knows me, and has been watching out for our family.
President Russel M. Nelson, in 2013 as a member of the quorum of twelve apostles said:
“The Lord’s way is the only way for us to experience enduring happiness. His way brings sustained comfort to our souls and perennial peace to our homes. And best of all, His way leads us home to Him and our Heavenly Father, to eternal life and exaltation. This is the very essence of God’s work and glory.” [5]
Aligning our decisions with the will of the Lord is a lifelong process of great importance. Our whole purpose in living the plan of salvation depends upon our alignment to Gods will. The Savior is the perfect example of alignment with the Father. He declared, “I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me”[6]. Further, He said of His relationship to the Father, “I do always those things that please him”[7]. The Book of Mormon Prophet Abinadi aptly described the Savior’s submission as “the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father” [8].
We show our alignment with The Lord and our Heavenly Father by making correct “defining decisions”. These correct decisions come to us through faithful interaction with the Holy Ghost. They come through living the principles of the gospel with faithful application. They can be exhibited to us through righteous examples both in the scriptures and modern day. For many of us they may not come easy. The desires of the world, peer pressure, and the quest for personal fame can cloud and darken our ability to make these decisions. It takes courage to make defining decisions.
President Henry B. Eyring said:
“One of the purposes of mortal life is to prove to God that we will keep His commandments when that takes courage. We passed that test in the spirit world. But a third of the hosts of heaven rebelled against the proposal that they be tested in a mortal existence where there was a risk that they would fail.” [9]
The psalmist tells us to “Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.” [10] So my young friends be of good courage. Practice faith and make you defining decisions in accordance with the will and mind of the Lord.
As a young man, I grew up in a home of the greatest priesthood leader ever. He was my father. We grew up on a small farm in northern Utah. Dad understood that idle hands in his young sons was not good. So we raised crops, horses, cattle, pigs, chickens, and occasionally a bumb lamb. We had our early and late chores. We were required to schedule our time in order to make sure these chores were done before other more enjoyable activities. Dad was a hard worker and often can home late in the evening doing what he could to provide a living for his family. One late evening I remember Dad coming in, we exchanged hello’s and talked about my activities for the day. I then asked him where he had been, and he said, “oh son I was just feeding the horses.” Now as a young man, maybe 10 or 11 fears struck my heart. One of my chores was to actually feed the horses and now Dad, who came home late just checked up on me and did my work for me. I waited for Dad to leave the room then I ran out to the corrals to verify my work had been done, it was, I knew I had done my duty for the night. Now the dilemma, should I talk to Dad, ask him to explain, or just let it go. I decided to not say anything that night, he was tired, and the rest of the family were in bed. Through the night my mind would not let me sleep. I wondered what dad had done and why was he not telling me the truth. So right after breakfast I asked him what he meant because I had surly feed the horses the night before. He said, “oh son I understand, why don’t you read Alma 18 in the Book of Mormon”.
Here is what I found out. Ammon, one of the sons of Mosiah had just protected the flocks and herds of King Lamoni at the water of Cebus. He used the sling and the sword to ensure that the animals were able to drink. On their return back at home some of the servants with Ammon rushed to the King to share with them what had happened. They rehearsed the actions of Ammon and praised him. The king was astounded knowing that he was a man of great power and a “Great Spirit”. Then:
8…it came to pass that king Lamoni inquired of his servants, saying: Where is this man that has such great power?
9 And they said unto him: Behold, he is feeding thy horses. Now the king had commanded his servants, previous to the time of the watering of their flocks, that they should prepare his horses and chariots, and conduct him forth to the land of Nephi; for there had been a great feast appointed at the land of Nephi, by the father of Lamoni, who was king over all the land.
10 Now when king Lamoni heard that Ammon was preparing his horses and his chariots he was more astonished, because of the faithfulness of Ammon, saying: Surely there has not been any servant among all my servants that has been so faithful as this man; for even he doth remember all my commandments to execute them. [11]
So, there it was, I now had my answer from my father and I still had no idea what he was talking about. The next day in church I learned the truth. During fast and testimony meeting our neighbor an elderly man rose and spoke of a man who without any compensation and on his way home saw a neighbor in need. Dad had seen our neighbor working on the front axle of his tractor. Dad, a diesel and farm equipment mechanic, pulled into their shop and spent the next three hours making sure the tractor would be usable for the following Monday. I, a, young man then but to this day remember the spirit that I felt from that moment. I was so pleased with my Father and yet he took it in stride as his duty. Dad did not preach to us as children, but his personal sermons have lasted a lifetime. We can find examples in this life who can influence us to make the correct defining decisions.
Defining decisions can be different for each one of us and yet some may be the same. Baptism, reception of the Priesthood for young men, the endowment and the marriage covenant are defined ordinances needed for exaltation. In order for each of us to become exalted we must make the decision to partake of the ordinance. With that comes years of study, gospel learning, and a worthiness acceptable to the Lord and his sacred judges on Isreal here in this life. We are also asked to suffer trials that are placed upon us with joy and happiness.
During difficult times in my life, I find comfort in the fact that even the Lords anointed are asked to suffer the trials of this life.
The Prophet Joseph suffered immense difficulties, in Liberty Jail, the Lord said to him:
“And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.”
“The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?” [12]
The Lord did not forsake Joseph, nor will he forsake us for he fully understands, for he has lived and felt the deep feelings trails and pain. In the greatest moment in history, the Savior prevailed.
As the hour drew near for the Savior to atone for our sins, He came to a place called Gethsemane, and
He, “began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy,” and He said, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful unto death.” [13]He then pleaded with the Father. “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless, not my will but thine be done”[14]
Sometimes in our personal lives, we too, pray that the bitter cups-and sometimes gallon jugs-may be removed, but if we are to become like the Savior, then we too, must have experiences similar to His. If we are ever to overcome the natural man, we must be “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father” [15] “And through it all, His promise is sure: “I will not leave you comfortless.” [16]
My heart goes out to many of you who may have suffered difficulties in your life.
Many of you or members of your family have suffered difficult health problems, problems that have threatened your lives, nevertheless you have moved forward, and continued your lives courageously, continued to serve in your callings with your full heart, sought the Lord’s blessings, and became closer to the Lord. You have put your lives in the hands of the Lord and followed his will.
Some of you may come from homes with a difficult financial situation. Nevertheless, you have moved forward, found employment and a way to pay for your own education which you deem vital and important.
Some of you have lost a loved one. Of course, you understand the plan of salvation and understand that you will be together again but the pain you feel is real, nevertheless you have remained active in the church. You have sought the Lord through prayer, you have put your lives in the Lord’s hands and asked and received the merciful compassion you have sought.
I pay tribute and honor each of you who faces difficulties, trials, and opposition with courage and determination. I pay tribute to you who have made defining decisions according to the will and mind of the Lord. You will be blessed.
Now all of us continue to fall way short of perfection. But the Lord in his wonderful wisdom has made it clear what we should do, he has said:
“For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance;” [17]
“Nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven” [18]
I pray that each of you will find joy and happiness from living the Gospel in this life and through
your lifelong obedience you will gain eternal life and exaltation.
In the name of Jesus Chirst, Amen.
[1] Mosiah 2:4
[2] https://mormonbeliefs.org/2018/01/14/celebrating-mormon-temple-dedication
[3] Moses 3: 16-17, emphasis added
[4] 1 Nephi 4:6-7
[5] Russel M. Nelson, Decisions for Eternity, April 2013
[6] John 6:38
[7] John 8:29
[8] Mosiah 15:7
[9] Eyring, Henry B. (2010, March). Moral Courage. Ensign,
[10] Psalm 31:24.
[11] Alma 18, Book of Mormon
[12] D&C 122:7-8
[13] Mark 14:33-34
[14] Luke 22:42, emphasis added
[15] Mosiah 3:19
[16] John 14:18
[17] D&C 1:31
[18] D&C 1:32