My dear brothers and sisters,
Aloha & Malo e lelei!
I appreciate and am very grateful for that kind and wonderful introduction by my lovely eternal companion. I want to thank our children for being here to share this time together as a family. They are the most important people in my life. I would also like to express my love to all of you and my extended family and friends who are here to support me in this assignment.
This is an unexpected opportunity and blessing I’ve been given to speak today and I feel very inadequate and humbled to be given this assignment. There are so many qualified individuals in this university who could have occupied this podium and who are much more eloquent and capable in the English language.
My wife and I are members of the Hauula 4th Ward and we’re both Sunday School teachers teaching the 16 to 17 year olds. It is an honor for me to be with you, and I want you to know that you have made the right choice to be here at this devotional this morning. You are a glorious group, even a chosen generation, assembled here in the Cannon Activity Center at Brigham Young University Hawaii. I would like to acknowledge the presence of the President Council, our Stake Presidents, BYU Hawaii Student Body Officers, faculty, staff and our beloved students.
While preparing for this assignment, I have been thinking about the many choices and decisions we as children of our Heavenly Father are called upon to make in our daily lives and the consequences of those choices. President Monson said concerning choices, “Some are trivial. Some are far-reaching. Some will make no difference in the eternal scheme of things, and others will make all the difference.” 1 My beloved brothers and sisters, it is my prayer this morning that I might enjoy the companionship of the Holy Ghost as I share my message with you. I would like to speak on this topic: “Decisions Determine Destiny” 2
According to Dr. Joel Hoomans of the Leading Edge Journal,
“Various internet sources estimate that an adult makes about 35,000 remotely conscious decisions each day (in contrast a child makes about 3,000). This number may sound absurd, but according to researchers at Cornell University 3, we make 226.7 decisions each day on just food alone. As your level of responsibility increases, so does the smorgasbord of choices you are faced with.
You and I have been given free will, or agency, and also a multitude of choices in life, like:
• what to eat
• what to wear
• what to purchase
• what we believe
• what jobs and career choices we will pursue
• how we vote
• who to spend our time with
• who we will date and marry
• what we say and how we say it
• whether or not we would like to have children
• what we will name our children
• who our children spend their time with
• what they will eat, etc.
Each choice carries certain consequences - good and bad. This ability to choose is an incredible and exciting power that we have each been entrusted with by our Creator and for which we have an obligation to be good stewards of.” 4
How many decisions does a person make over a life time?
According to the UK News Mirror, “The average person will make 773,618 decisions over a lifetime – and will come to regret 143,262 of them.
A typical adult makes 27 judgments a day – usually starting with whether to turn off the alarm or hit snooze.
And each decision can take up to nine minutes, which adds up to a mind-numbing four hours lost in thought.
After polling 2,000 people, Tony Ablewhite, of the Puzzler Mind Gym 3D game, said: “We know it’s not always easy to make decisions. But we need to get better at making our minds up.”
What decisions have you made today? What decisions in your life do you regret?”
As Latter-day Saints, we have been taught that we have a loving Heavenly Father who wants the best for all of his children but he will never do anything against our agency. As a result of our Father’s love, we have been sent here on earth to receive a mortal body and make decisions and choices. Being loving parents, my wife and I also want the best for our children. As a young couple, we lived in TVA, and after our first child was born, we tried our very best to raise our daughter with what we had learned. My wife, is a loving and nurturing mother, did an excellent job with our child. On the other hand, I was still trying to learn my responsibility as a father. In other words, I was undergoing on-the-job training, and I know I made a lot of mistakes throughout the process. Our three older children will agree with that. I was a very strict father and wanted to protect our children. I wanted them to be happy and to enjoy the opportunities this country has to offer. As parents, we have made choices for our children while they were younger, and as they get older, we still want them to honor those choices. We must remember that as our children get older, they should be making their own choices. We need to continue to support them in their choices and love them unconditionally. Yet this can be especially difficult when as a parent you see the coming consequences of those choices that they don’t see. We can learn from Alma, Lehi, Adam, and even our Heavenly Father, who have been through it all. We all come from different countries and cultures and have brought with us what have learned and how we choose to live. Personally I think that the gospel culture is the best one for me. We learn in Matthew 11:28-30 of the Savior’s invitation to all of us, and I quote:
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. 5
I know that our Heavenly Father loves us in spite of our imperfection. We can always repent and try to do better. He knows our daily struggles as parents and he wants us to succeed and become like him for he is our Heavenly parent.
President Thomas S. Monson stated:
“Youth of today are faced with monumental decisions. The world in which you live is not a play world or a Disney world. It is a very competitive world that will require the very best that you can bring to it, and it will reward you when your best efforts are put forth.
It is important to remember this solemn truth: Obedience to God’s law will bring liberty and eternal life, whereas disobedience will bring captivity and death. It has been said by one, years ago, that history turns on small hinges, and so do people’s lives. Our lives will depend upon the decisions which we make—for decisions determine destiny.”
The decisions we make have their eternal consequences, as we learn from the prophet Noah when the Lord told him to call the people to repent. “They laughed, mocked and they jeered as this prophet of God erected a vessel called an ark. But they ceased from their laughing and their jeering when the rain began to come and when the rain failed to cease. They had made a decision contrary to the instructions of God’s prophet, and they paid for that decision with their very lives.”
Lehi taught his son Jacob about our agency to choose, and I quote from 2Nephi2:27
"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." 6
We also learn from the book, “True to the Faith,” and I quote,
“You had the power to choose even before you were born. In the premortal Council in Heaven, Heavenly Father presented His plan, which included the principle of agency. Lucifer rebelled and “sought to destroy the agency of man”. 7 As a result, Lucifer and all those who followed him were denied the privilege of receiving a mortal body. Your presence on the earth confirms that you exercised your agency to follow Heavenly Father’s plan.
In mortality, you continue to have agency. Your use of this gift determines your happiness or misery in this life and in the life to come. You are free to choose and act, but you are not free to choose the consequences of your actions. The consequences may not be immediate, but they will always follow. Choices of good and righteousness lead to happiness, peace, and eternal life, while choices of sin and evil eventually lead to heartache and misery.
You are responsible for the decisions you make. You should not blame your circumstances, your family, or your friends if you choose to disobey God’s commandments. You are a child of God with great strength. You have the ability to choose righteousness and happiness, regardless of your circumstances." 8
As a young boy growing up in the island of Vava’u, I was blessed to have good people around me. At the age of two and half, my mother passed away, and I missed the blessing of being raised by her. I do not remember anything about my mother except what I have seen of her in pictures and what I read from her journal. My Dad was the closest person to me and we have become very close friends. I remember how I wanted to be around him and to do everything that he did. He was a very good father and mother to me. Every day I could not wait for him to come home from work so we can spend time together as father and son especially eating our favorite snacks. I think the most important thing that I remember about him was that he lived the gospel to the best of his ability. The gospel was everything to him after his family. He was not perfect but he tried his very best. That was important for me because I tried to follow in his footsteps and wanted to be just like him. I remember at times when I got into mischief, he did not punish me as most Tongan fathers did. He would talk to me not in an angry tone, but in a loving and peaceful way. Sometime I just wished that he could just hit me and get it over with it; but he did not and I will always remember that. I thank him for being such a great example to me of how he choose to live life like our Savior. Because of his good example, it was easier for me to choose the right. My family will tell you that I am far for being perfect, but I am trying to be a better man today than yesterday.
Let me share a few stories from the scriptures that will illustrate the importance of making right choices and decisions as well as how they impacted not only them as individuals but also all of us many years later.
I think of the decision of Adam and Eve made in their beautiful home in the Garden of Eden. They had been given everything they could want for food and comfort. They knew nothing of evil, for their world was all good and they were happy.
The Lord would walk and talk with them, and their happiness was complete. Everything had been made for them to enjoy except one tree—the tree of knowledge of good and evil—and they were told they should neither touch nor eat the fruit of that tree, for if they did, they would be punished.
But one day Satan tempted Eve and Adam, and they disobeyed the Lord and ate the fruit was been forbidden. And when they had eaten it, they were cast out of the Garden of Eden and became mortals as we are, and the Lord told them that someday they would die. Was that a major life decision? Definitely a decision that has affected all human beings ever lived on this earth.
In the Book of Mormon, we read about another family and the choices they made. Laman and Lemuel were commanded to go and obtain the brass plates from King Laban. The scripture indicated they murmured and said it was a hard thing that the Lord has asked of them. They decided not to obey and they lost the blessing. But Nephi, when he received the commandment, responded with that beautiful declaration: “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded,” and he did; and he received the coveted prize that comes through obedience.
How about the decision made by a 14-year-old boy who was searching for the truth? He searched the scriptures and read that if anyone lacked wisdom, he should ask of God, “that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him”. 9 He put James’s promise to the test and he went to the grove to pray. “Was that a major decision? Of course—“that was a decision that has affected all mankind and particularly all of us who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Each youth, indeed all of us, have the responsibility to make vitally important decisions.”
We learn through latter-day revelation about the War in Heaven and how Lucifer’s plan was to take away our agency and to force all of us to follow him. Upon his and everyone’s return, he wanted all the glory and all that the Father has to be his. But according to Heavenly Father’s plan carried out by the Savior’s, all of God’s children were given agency to make their own choices that would allow us to learn and to grow. Christ would come and atone for our sins and allow us the opportunity to repent and to be clean again. The scripture in Moses 4:1-3 tells us that Lucifer presented his plan to the Father, and I quote.
“Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.
But our Elder Brother said: Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.
Wherefore, because that Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I, the Lord God, had given him, and also, that I should give unto him mine own power; by the power of mine Only Begotten, I caused that he should be cast down. 10
In the Father’s plan, championed by Jesus Christ, agency was integral. In fact, Lucifer’s plan could not have worked. Learning to exercise agency is the very essence of learning to be like our Father in Heaven.
Here are two quotations that are very helpful to us when we are making critically important decisions in our lives. We must always remember that the opposing forces will always place doubts in our minds when we make important life decisions. Lucifer’s plan is to frustrate our Father’s plan and to convince all His children to follow him instead.
President Monson stated,
”In Lewis Carroll’s classic Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Alice finds herself coming to a crossroads with two paths before her, each stretching onward but in opposite directions. She is confronted by the Cheshire Cat, of whom she asks, “Which path shall I take?” The cat answers: “That depends where you want to go. If you do not know where you want to go, it doesn’t really matter which path you take!”1
Unlike Alice, each of you knows where you want to go. It does matter which way you go because the path you follow in this life leads to the path you will follow into the next. Our Heavenly Father has given each of us the power to think and reason and decide. Each of us has the responsibility to choose. You may ask, “Are decisions really that important?” I say to you, decisions determine destiny. You can’t make eternal decisions without eternal consequences. May I provide a simple formula by which you can measure the choices that confront you. It’s easy to remember: “You can’t be right by doing wrong; you can’t be wrong by doing right.” Courage is required to think right, choose right, and do right, for such a course will rarely, if ever, be the easiest to follow. Eternal life in the kingdom of our Father is your goal, and self-discipline will surely be required if you are to achieve it. You are precious in the sight of your Heavenly Father. He hears your prayers. He extends to you His peace and His love. Stay close to Him and to His Son, and you will not walk alone.” 11
A BYU Provo Professor David V. Dearden has stated,
“Remember that no one can exercise your agency for you. The Lord certainly will not. Doing that would not allow us to accomplish what we are here to do. Doing that wouldn’t teach us the things we must learn. As Oliver Cowdery learned when attempting to translate, we need to make the best decision we can before we ask the Lord if it is right:
But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.
But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong. 12
When we do ask, I believe the most common answer for one who is living the gospel and is already tuned to the Spirit will likely be “You decide.” The Lord does not tell us this because He does not care or does not want to help. He does not tell us precisely because He does care and He does love us. It blesses us to learn to use our agency on our own. That is why we are here." 13
To my fellow students please consider these six very important questions now as you make your decision for the future. They are equally important and please involve the Lord as you decide on these questions. Remember when the Lord reminded Oliver Cowdery that you must study them out in your mind then ask if is right. You have great resources on this campus to help you as you make decisions about these questions. I know that they are very important for you and your future family and especially your progress in the kingdom. Remember that the Lord would not give us any commandments without preparing the way that we can accomplish them.
What major and career should I choose?
Should I serve a mission?
Whom should I date?
Whom should I marry?
When should we begin a family?
How can I have faith in our leaders and endure to the End? 13
When I look back on the choices made by my forefathers, I am grateful to those on both my mother’s and father’s sides, for their faith and courage many years ago to make right choices when making major life decisions. Their choices have affected my relatives all the way down to my own family today. Joining the church in Tonga was not the popular thing to do since their forefathers were strong in their own faith. I thank them for being strong in their faith and having the courage to make change. Both of my grandparents were very instrumental with the establishment of the LDS Church on our small island of Vava’u. My grandparents from my mother’s side (Langi) and father’s side (Unga) have 12 living children and they were all born and raised in the church. Many children were born into both families. Many of my uncles and aunties served missions as couples and majority of the 24 children were sealed in the temples included both of my grandparents. Majority of my first cousins and their children have also served fulltime missions.
I am also grateful to my parents for making right choices that blessed our family when I was young. My parents accepted the call to serve as branch president in the island of Ha’ano in the Ha’apai island Group. Like many couples serving there at the time, they were penniless but they had faith that their call was from God. They made new friends and brought new members into the fold. Their needs were taken care of by the goodness and hospitality of the people of Ha’ano. I know my parents love the missionary program of this church because as a young boy growing up, we always had the missionaries living with us at our home. I remember every Monday evening, our family with the help of our nonmember neighbors, prepared meals for 20 missionaries in the area. I am eternally grateful that I grew up in a home where the missionaries were present because they were great examples to me and I wanted to be like them. Consequently, later on in life, I was blessed with opportunity to serve in the California San Jose Mission. Two of my sisters and a younger brother served fulltime missions. My parents also made the sacrifice to raise funds to take their small family to the temple. They sold all their belongings and made loans to make the trip to New Zealand in 1959. With their two children, they were sealed in the New Zealand temple to become an eternal family, and in January 1963 our mother was taken home to our Heavenly Father. Though that was not my choice, I know that was my Heavenly Father’s will and plan, and I am looking forward for that happy reunion.
I was also blessed to have another mother in my life and six more brothers and sisters. In 1979, our family moved and resided in this community of Laie. I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to have lived in this community and have had the blessing to gain an education from this University. To all my teachers especially my ELI teachers, Sister Alice Pack, Boyer and Lynn Hansen, thank you for having patience with me. It took me a while to finally complete the program, and I could not have done it without your encouragement and patience. To the rest of my professors and staff members, thank you for having a strong testimony of the divinity of God the father and his son Jesus Christ and the restored gospel. Personally I think that is a major reason why we should encourage our young people to attend this University. The environment and the spirit here is a major building ground for those who are making important choices and decisions for their futures. Additionally, we have the temple close by. What an ideal set up to live, gain an education, work and to worship all within walking distance. Living in this country and enjoying the blessings of the gospel is a wonderful blessing. We enjoy the freedom to choose and worship according to the dictates of our own conscience. My family and I have lived in the communities of Laie and Hauula for the last forty years and have enjoyed the blessing of working in this University. Our four children have attended BYU-Hawaii, with three graduated and one more to go.
To our students, you have made the right choice to attend this university. I hope you know how blessed you are to receive your education in this university. You will meet students with same values and high moral standards who will help you as you make important life decisions. This is the Lord’s university with capable leadership at the helm and under the direction of the Lord. I hope that you appreciate the education both spiritual and temporal you receive here. This is truly a special place. Learn all that you can and take that knowledge and testimony and share it with all God’s children.
My wife and I are both employed by this university and have been very fortunate to work with young people from different parts of the world. I feel that Lord has brought all us together to help and learn from each other. Faculty and staff, I hope we know the influence we have on these young people. Let us all try our best to help them while they are here. Some of these students are away from home and we might be the only role model they can follow. Be a good example in both word and deed.
My brothers and sisters may we always choose the right. Choose to be humble and to be teachable. Choose to be honest. Choose to live a clean and an exemplary life. Choose to repent daily or when needed. Choose to be forgiving. Choose to be kind, and above all, choose to love God with all your heart, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor. We will fulfill the prophecy made by President McKay at the Groundbreaking Services Church College of Hawaii/ BYU–Hawaii dedication February 12, 1955 and I quote:
“You mark that word, and from this school, I’ll tell you, will go men and women whose influence will be felt for good towards the establishment of peace internationally… You prepare to go and carry that message to all the nations of the earth.” 14
Also as a reminder to all of us of our duty as members of the church to exercise our right to vote in this election year. Vote for the best person for the job. It is our responsibility to decide whom we want to represent our voice and ideals in the government. When we don’t vote, we allow bad leaders to be put into in leadership. May I remind all of us to get involved and vote. It is our duty.
In closing let me quote from Joshua 24:15 and also leave with you my testimony.
15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. 15
I know that our Heavenly Father lives and he loves all his children. Jesus Christ is our Savior and he died that we may live again with our families. Joseph Smith through Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is the revealer of truths in this last dispensation. The Book of Mormon is the second testament of Jesus Christ and Thomas S Monson is the Lord’s prophet upon the earth today. Let us choose the right in our daily choices and decisions for they surely determine our destiny - In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
[1]October 2010 General Conference The Three Rs of Choice
[2]Thomas S Monson New Era, November 1979
[3]Wansink and Sobal, 2007
[4]Posted by Dr. Joel Hoomans on Mar 20, 2015
[5]Matthew 11:28-30
[6]2 Nephi 2:27
[7]Moses 4:3
[8]“True to the Faith,” (2004), 12–13
[9]James 1:5
[10]Moses 4:1–3
[11] Pathways to Perfection, April 2002 general Young Women meeting address. Adapted from Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (1992), 76
[12]D&C 9:8–9
[13]The Sacred Gift of Agency, David V. Dearden, BYU Speeches
[14]BYU–Hawaii dedication February 12, 1955
[15]Joshua 24:15