In January of 1997, my family and I were living in Luxembourg where I was working as an auditor for Deloitte & Touche.
January is the front end of what auditors refer to as “busy-season.” In our family, Teresa and I would start busy season by pulling out our calendar and planning a really fun vacation for the end of busy-season. Then we would take a deep breath, plunge in, and hang on until the end of March when we would come up for air and escape to that that long-awaited vacation.
As usual, this busy season was busy. Except for Mondays for family night and Saturdays and Sundays, I would rarely see my kids awake because I would leave for work before they got up and return after they had gone to bed. One night, I got home particularly late, feeling a bit more stress than usual, so I greeted Teresa, who was finalizing a sewing project, and then chose to de-stress myself by sitting down and reading the Church News. The messages were great, and as the minutes passed, I felt myself begin to relax. As I reached the back of the issue, the following position announcement jumped off the page at me: “ BYU–HAWAII Assistant or associate professor of accounting.”
I immediately called over to Teresa and said, “Hey, what do you think about this, an Accounting Professor Position at BYU–Hawaii.” To Teresa’s credit and my eternal gratitude, her resounding reply was “I’m there!” I then fired an email off to Bruce Kimzey, and after a couple setbacks, we were at BYU–Hawaii interviewing for the position, and a few months after that, we were packing up our three little children and all of our worldly belongings for a 24-hour flight to Hawaii. I have never regretted what seemed to be a very spur-of-the-moment, life-altering, career-altering decision to effectively say, “Count me in!” to teaching at BYU–Hawaii, a decision that has changed my life and that of my wife and my children for the better.
I often think about that night and how clear it seemed to me and to Teresa that this would be the right thing to do. Naturally, some people would say, “Well of course Hawaii sounded good. You were working long-stressful hours, it was below freezing outside, you weren’t seeing your kids very much, etc. etc. Of course Hawaii sounded good.” However, our motivation felt deeper than that. We felt a spiritual confirmation that at this point in time, the Lord needed us somewhere else and through various means was asking if we wanted to be counted in. Soon after we arrived in Hawaii and after the excitement of moving here had settled down, we realized that saying “Count me in” is easier than sacrificing and working to “be counted in,” but both are necessary. To Teresa’s credit, what really made our move here work out so well was that she was willing to follow-up her words with the necessary sacrifices and required work to be counted in.
It is this willingness to say “Count me in!” AND then the ability to make the sacrifices and put in the work to BEcounted in that I would like to talk about today. These abilities are particularly critical as we seek to fulfill our role in four key areas: 1) the Plan of Salvation, 2) our education, 3) our dating, marriage, and family lives, and 4) the Atonement.
1. The Plan of Salvation
Many moons ago, in fact, even before our moon was created, we all participated in the Council in Heaven. In this council, Heavenly Father proposed a Plan of Salvation, also known as the Plan of Happiness, which would allow each of us to come to earth, receive bodies, and be tested to see if we would be true and faithful to the covenants we would make with Him so that we could return to Him and receive eternal salvation. I believe that as Heavenly Father presented His Plan, He made it clear that in order for us to truly grow and become more like Him, we would need to have free agency and to learn how to act for ourselves, “to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life” (2 Nephi 10:23).
As the Council in Heaven progressed, two of His sons, Jesus Christ and Lucifer, as Satan was then called, offered to carry out Heavenly Father’s plan.
“And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first,” whom we know to have been Jesus Christ (Abraham 3:27).
When Jesus Christ offered to carry out God’s plan, He indicated His wholehearted willingness to carry out God’s plan as God envisioned it, for he said, “Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever” (Moses 4:2).
In other words, Christ said, “Count me in.” Christ gave no qualifiers, made no stipulations, and proposed no adjustments to God’s plan. Christ was “ALL IN” exactly as God desired.
On the other hand, when Satan made his offer, his proposal came with qualifiers, stipulations, and proposed adjustments to God’s plan. His words were “Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor” (Moses 4:1).
Satan wanted to become the Plan’s CEC, its Chief External Controller. Under Satan’s system for carrying out Heavenly Father’s plan, we would have only been required to SAY “Count me in,” then sit back and let Satan’s system of external controls take care of the rest. Satan’s system was not to be a system of free agency but rather one of external controls that would have prevented our spirits from learning how to master the natural man, to sacrifice, and to work to develop obedience and faithfulness, all of which is necessary in order for us to become like our Heavenly Father.
“Wherefore, because that Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I, the Lord God, had given him, … I caused that he should be cast down” (Moses 4:3).
Satan told us the biggest lie of all; he told us that all we had to do was SAY “Count me in,” and we would have been saved without any additional sacrifice or work on our parts. This was a lie because it was contrary to God’s plan; however, this lie was enticing enough to “a third part of the hosts of heaven” that they turned away from Heavenly Father, “And they were thrust down, and thus came the devil and his angels” (D&C 29:36-37).
Now, here is the point I would like to make: none of us who has ever lived on the earth or whoever will live on the earth bought Satan’s lie, that saying “Count me in” would be enough for our eternal salvation. We desired our free agency. We wanted to make choices. We wanted to grow. We wanted to be obedient. We wanted to grow in faith. We wanted to work and to show through our words AND our obedient actions that we would follow the Savior and hopefully be able to return to Heavenly Father.
So, we all made it to earth; we all passed the first test by saying “Count me in” on the Plan of Salvation and have thereby kept our first estate.
Now is our probationary state when the real challenge begins. Will we be able to follow-through on what we said in our pre-mortal commitment and BE counted in? Will we develop faith? Will we repent? Will we be baptized and enter into the other saving ordinances and enter the related covenants? Will we strive to keep the commandments? Will we continue to repent and endure to the end? Only time will tell. The challenge is that none of us knows how long our time on earth will last, so the best option is to live in a manner so that we can Becounted in each and every day through our words and our actions or, as President Hinckley has said, “May we go forward with determination to try a little harder to be a little better.”
2. Our Education
Many of you have heard that “The glory of God is intelligence” (D&C 93:36). Well, I don’t know about you, but I have had times in my life where I didn’t feel like the intelligence I possessed was doing much to increase God’s glory. Let me share with you a couple personal stories that reveal my former misunderstandings of intelligence.
My early elementary school years in Southern California were happy, fun, and very active. I enjoyed school, but in contrast to my good friends, I wasn't very academically gifted. For example, one of my earliest childhood memories was in Mrs. Breitenberger’s kindergarten class where we were expected to learn our numbers and our letters. As soon as we could prove to our teacher that we knew all our numbers and our letters, our teacher would write our name on a paper astronaut and tape it to the classroom wall in chronological order of achievement. What this meant is that anyone could walk into our classroom and immediately see who the "smart" kids were and by default know who the “smart” kids were not. If I remember correctly, my good friend Ralphy's astronaut was one of the very first astronauts to go up on the wall and begin its year-long space-walk of glory. I am confident that my astronaut also wanted to float along the wall, but a few letters, particularly the letter J, seemed to conspire against me and my astronaut who remained in my teacher’s drawer. My difficulties with the letter J became particularly embarrassing when I crafted a love note to Julie, with the J spelled backwards. Gratefully, I was finally able to master my “J’s” and liberate my astronaut from my teacher’s drawer so that he could enjoy his short-lived float of glory. Although I was only six at the time, this experience started to worry me. I thought, “Maybe I don't have what it takes; maybe I am just not smart enough.”
Well, school continued, and my friend Ralphy continued to excel, and I continued to just get by, revealing to me, or so I interpreted, my below-average intelligence. My feeling of inadequacy hit me really strongly on report card day in second grade when I was almost eight years old. Both Ralphy and I had just received our report cards and decided it would be a good idea to compare them. I was wrong. It was not a good idea. Our school's grading structure assigned +'s for above average work, 0's for average work, and -'s for below average work. Ralphy's report card was flush with +’s. On the other hand, my report card was littered with 0's and -'s. I soon said goodbye to Ralphy, crossed the street to my home, and entered my front door feeling quite dejected. I may even have been crying; I don’t recall. Whatever my disposition was, my mother noticed that I wasn't my normally cheerful self and asked, "Kevin, what is the matter? You seem a little sad." I then broke down and told my mom about all the +'s Ralphy had and about all the 0's and -'s I had. I then expressed my concern that I must really be stupid. My mother then changed my life. She sat me down, looked me in the eye, and gave me some valuable advice. She said, "Ralphy IS a very smart boy. That's OK. Maybe for you, you might just need to work a little harder." However she said it, it rang true to me. Maybe I didn’t understand things as fast as the next person, BUT I knew I could try a little harder to do a little better to learn a little more. I knew I really wasn’t giving my best effort in school and could do better to focus on learning, so I buckled down, as much as an active eight-year old, soccer-loving boy could do, and tried harder, began to learn more, and my results started to improve. I came to really love learning and have continued to strive to learn each and every day. To this day, I know I still don’t have the highest IQ, but I have learned how to work hard, and I have learned how to learn some reasonably difficult things. By so doing, I have also been able to assist others in learning reasonably difficult things.
Some of you may currently be going through some emotions that you thought you would never have. Several months ago, you were thrilled to receive confirmation that you were admitted to study at BYU–Hawaii. After waiting for so long, you couldn’t believe it. You finally got accepted and would soon be on campus ready to start your university education. But now, after only a couple months, you are sitting in your classes figuratively imagining all these astronauts floating along the classroom walls but none of them have your name on them because you are still stuck on backward “J’s,” and your astronaut is still sitting in your professor’s drawer. Now is a dangerous time in your academic career because you risk thinking that you are not very intelligent when in fact possibly what you need is little more focused and effective effort or some properly guided learning assistance.
Please do not give up on yourselves. Our campus has plenty of learning resources in the student Counseling Center, the Center for Academic Success, the Center for Learning and Teaching, the Reading/Writing Center, the Speech Lab, the Accounting and various other tutoring labs, and your professors. Each and every BYU–Hawaii professor has office hours set aside for you each week specifically dedicated to help you learn. Please don’t underestimate the value of sitting face-to-face with your professor and receiving his or her help in your learning process. Your professors want to help you, and I don’t think anything makes teaching professors happier than seeing their students learn and succeed. Please take full advantage of your professors’ office hours; you will be glad you did.
A few months ago, I set out to paint lines at Laie Park for a new sport called Pickleball. Within minutes of laying out the masking tape and pulling out my yellow traffic paint and paint rollers, I had 15 kids under the age of ten saying, “Hey uncle, I like try.” Based on their level of fascination with the painting process, I doubt a single one of them had ever used a paint roller in his life, but due to their eagerness to help and their willingness to learn, I chose to change my focus from painting Pickleball lines to helping children learn. I quickly realized it was more important to validate and encourage the children’s innate desire to serve and to learn than it was to paint perfect Pickleball lines. The kids were great. They very dutifully lined up and one-by-one and took turns dipping the rollers in the paint and rolling out the lines. Kids are naturally born with a love for learning. If you feel you have lost that love for learning, seek to regain it by trying something totally new in a safe, loving environment. If I could express one hope in my new responsibilities in the Center for Learning and Teaching, it would be that each of our classrooms become a safe and loving environment but also an environment that challenges each of us to live up to our potential.
On the topic of learning, Elder Bednar said, “When I was younger, I thought education meant going to school, taking tests, and getting good grades. But as I grew older, I began to learn the difference between doing well in school and becoming educated. A person can do well on tests and still not be educated. True education is learning how to learn. Once I discovered that lesson, learning became fun.”
I hope that when each of us are presented with new and challenging opportunities to learn, that we will say “Count me in!” or as my junior associates said, “Hey uncle, I like try,” and then seize the opportunity to sacrifice, to work hard, and to learn, for the Glory of God is intelligence, the intelligences that we are AND the intelligence we can develop through the learning process. Both are essential to God’s glory.
3. Our Dating, Marriage, and Family Lives
A few years after my mission, I found myself at BYU progressing toward a master’s degree in accounting. I was working, studying, being active in Church, and dating, but I was dating to date. I was not dating to get married, and yes, there is a definite difference between the two. As I look back on that time, I don’t think I had really made the decision to say “Count me in!” on marriage. Although I had told myself that I would like to get married, I hadn’t committed that I would make myself ready to be married; I wasn’t sure I was ready to be “Counted in.”
One night in the spring of 1989, Brian Watkins, my freshman floor mate and a current BYU–Hawaii accounting professor, invited me over for dinner with his wife Cindi and with Ray Richmond, my freshman roommate, and his wife Alicia. You single guys probably already perceive the predicament I was in. As I looked forward to the dinner, I was already anticipating an awkward evening talking about marriage, babies, pregnancy, strollers, diapers etc. and was wondering who I knew that would enjoy going with me and would be able handle the situation well. While contemplating my options, I decided to invite Teresa. Teresa and I had become friends a couple years earlier when we were in the same ward and on the same inner tube water polo team with three of my siblings and some other friends. Gratefully, she accepted the dinner invitation.
As I correctly imagined, the dinner conversation did turn toward marriage, babies, pregnancy, strollers, diapers, etc., but to her credit, Teresa handled it quite well in spite of this being only our second date in two years. As the conversation continued about married life, it then turned toward housing, at which point Cindi turned toward “us” and asked, “Have you two started looking for housing yet?” We both chuckled, jokingly scooted a little closer, and said, “No, no, not yet.” The rest of the dinner passed without a hitch. After that, we went to ward prayer, and as we arrived, we walked up the stairs arm-in-arm, still playing it up as if we were “an item.”
But, something happened to me that night. The ice was broken. I finally realized deep down in my heart, what I already knew in my head, that the dating scene was designed to lead to something more serious. It was not meant to be an eternal means of entertaining yourself on the weekend when you were done with work and were tired of studying. The Lord expected more out of the process, and, for the first time in my life, I decided to say “Count me in” on it.
After that, dating did change for me. I wish I could say that it lead to a smooth and quick marriage to Teresa, my dream girl, but it didn’t. In between that first second date and our eventual marriage, we both dated other people seriously, but gratefully, in Part 3 of our relationship, it all came together and we were married in the Los Angeles Temple right in the middle of my last semester of my Master’s program.
I realize there are many factors that impact the timing of marriage, but I can say that for me, and probably some of you, particularly you young men, I was hampering that timing in my life because I had not yet decided to say “Count me in” and then make the sacrifices and put in the work to BE counted in. For me, my relationship with Teresa only truly began to progress toward marriage AFTER I had decided that I was ready to get married and tried to follow-through with the wholesome, three-pillar dating strategy referred to by Steve Tueller in his excellent Devotional talk a few weeks ago.
So, yes, Teresa and I both did say “Count me in” to our marriage, and we were married in the temple, but was that it? Was that all we needed to do was say: “Yes, count me in” and our eternal marriage would be made sure? Did we make it? Not by a long shot. In fact, we are still working on “making it,” and we will be forever. It was only after we said “Yes” across the altar of the temple that the real hard work needed to live up to our temple marriage covenants could even begin.
Both of us have had to roll up our sleeves and put in some good solid effort to make our marriage work. It is clear to me that in the bliss of the dating that lead up to our marriage, we did not fully comprehend the amount of hard work it would take to live up to the loving covenants we made in the temple. But, after almost 25 years of marriage, we are still together. We have six wonderful children and one wonderful daughter-in-law, and we still need to work hard at our relationship every single day. For example, some of you may have seen us in the mornings riding our tandem bike out to Kahuku, talking and listening all the way out and back. That tandem bike has been great couple’s therapy for us. Every couple needs to find something that keeps their conversation and love going, and this is one thing that has worked for us. I will be eternally grateful for both our decisions to say “Count me in” to our marriage, and I am personally very grateful for Teresa’s commitment to me, to her temple covenants, and to the Lord that she would be willing to put in the hard work to stay with me to help fulfill them.
4. The Atonement
When we asked to be counted in on the Plan of Salvation and chose to keep our first estate, we expressed our willingness to receive the blessings of Christ’s Atonement so that we could keep our second estate and return to Him. Each and every one of us knew, in advance, even before setting foot on earth, that we would commit sins and “fall short of the Glory of God” (Romans 3:23). We knew that we would need a Savior to atone for our sins, and we knew that our Savior would be Jesus Christ. As spirit children, we may even have been able to observe Christ’s Atonement. I don’t know, but I do believe that before the veil of forgetfulness was pulled over each of our eyes, we already knew that Jesus Christ had kept His promise and backed up His words by fully atoning for our yet uncommitted sins. His part of the Plan of Salvation is fulfilled. Our part is in the works. Before coming to earth, we said “Count me in” on the blessings of the Atonement, but our words will mean nothing if we don’t follow through with the requisite faith and repentance so that even though our sins were as scarlet, they may be white as snow.
As a single student bishop, I had the opportunity to help some of my ward members remember their desire to be counted in on the redeeming power of the Atonement. They would come in to see me with what seemed to be a backpack full of burdens resulting from prior sins and transgressions. The burdens they carried weighed down their spirits and correspondingly their studies, their social life, their activity in the Church, their work, and their self-confidence such that they were neither receiving the redeeming power of the Atonement nor the enablingpower of the Atonement. However, through humility, pure repentance, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and good old-fashioned hard work, the power of the Atonement healed them, and the Spirit returned. I felt so blessed to be able to witness the miracle of forgiveness in their lives.
I know that each of us desired to be counted in on the Lord’s Atonement when we chose to come to earth. Now that we are here, we have the opportunity to follow through on that desire. The Lord is waiting and ready to embrace us as we return to Him. I pray that each of us will choose to not only say the words “Count me in” but to take the actions that will allow us to BE counted in on His Atonement and thereby be numbered among His fold.
In summary, before coming to earth, we chose to be counted in on the Plan of Salvation, to become educated, to marry and raise a family, and to receive the blessings of the Atonement in our lives. The life we live now will show whether we will live up to our desires to be counted in. God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, church leaders, friends, and family are all available to help us along the way to ensure we are counted in.
I pray that when each of us are resurrected and brought before the judgment seat of God that each of us will be able to say “Lord, please count me in” and that the heavenly gates will swing wide on our behalf.
God is counting on us. I pray that we may all choose to be counted in and act in a manner that will allow us to be counted in on the Plan of Salvation; on our education; on our dating, marriage, and family lives; and on the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.