Brothers and Sisters, Aloha! It is wonderful to welcome you to the start of a new academic year here on the BYU–Hawaii campus. For some of you, this may be the start of a whole new chapter in your life, filled with excitement and apprehension as you get to know a new school, new teachers, new roommates, a new ward and Bishop, and perhaps even a new country. Hopefully, you are quickly getting comfortable in your new surroundings. I can assure you that our faculty and staff are committed to helping you gain all the education and preparation for life that you can while on this campus.
For others of you, there may be a great sense of anticipation as you near the end of your studies at BYU–Hawaii. Some of you may be looking forward to commencement later this year and the start of a career. In the activities associated with this chapter of your life, you will also find wonderful assistance and concern among those on our staff who are committed to helping you in your search for the right organization and job to launch your career and continue learning.
And for faculty and staff, this is a time of getting to know new students. They desire to help you develop a solid foundation for the things you will need to learn to accomplish all the Lord has planned for you. Whatever your circumstance, I hope you will feel a sense of excitement, energy and anticipation as you contemplate the coming semester on this beautiful campus.
You are here at BYU–Hawaii at a very special time in its history. We hope that you have been able to participate in and enjoy this past week of celebration as so many faithful alumni have visited campus for the 50th anniversary reunion of the Polynesian Cultural Center. And we hope you were able to attend the worldwide CES Broadcast with Elder Russell M. Nelson in this building two days ago. And then to enjoy the special spirit of thanksgiving and gratitude as we participated in the dedication of the Heber J. Grant Building and recognized so many who are helping to provide this special environment in which we can learn, lead and build for the future.
Such gatherings, including our devotionals each Tuesday morning, provide a wonderful opportunity for us to learn from one another and to deepen our commitment to the Savior and His Gospel. Today, I would like to discuss some of the principles we learn from the Savior and His prophets regarding our treatment of others and how we can build a Zion-like community here at BYU–Hawaii. I’ll begin by outlining a simple framework for thinking about our relationships with others and then apply it to the unique setting of this campus. My hope is that each of us might be motivated to assess our opportunities to pursue the standards set by the Savior for such relationships and to gain further insight as to how we might more diligently “follow Him.”
A Simple Framework
Perhaps the most basic level or standard for personal relationships is that captured by the question, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” This question was first recorded in the fourth chapter of Genesis but has been asked countless times since. The world we live in is one where many seek their own self-interest, without concern for the impact it may have on others. In the scriptures, we are told that Cain coveted the flocks of his brother, Abel, and that Satan then showed him how to obtain them. As recorded there, it says that Cain killed Abel “for the sake of getting gain” (Moses 5:50). Seeing this, the Lord asked Cain, “Where is thy brother?” Cain first sought to cover his sin with a lie, saying, “I know not.” He then added the rationalization “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9; Moses 5:34).
Since that time, Satan has been relentless in seeking to entice mortal men and women to employ evil means to get gain. At the time of Alma, a man named Korihor developed a great following by teaching that “every man fare[s] in this life according to the management of the creature; therefore every man prosper[s] according to his genius, and … every man conquer[s] according to his strength; and whatsoever a man [does is] no crime” (Alma 30:17).
In our own day, we hear such rationalizations as “It’s not my problem” or “It’s none of my business” or simply the phrase uttered so often in business: “buyer beware.” And people defend their actions, even publicly, by arguing that they’ve done nothing “illegal” as though that justifies them. All of these are forms of the same question asked by Cain, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Such a pattern was foretold in that great vision of the latter days recorded by Nephi where many will be heard to say, “Lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this” (2 Nephi 28:8).
Fortunately, most active Christians, Latter-day Saints, and other God-fearing people think of themselves as “being their brother’s keeper” and set a higher standard for their relationships and interactions with others. That standard is not to covet and not to seek gain at the expense of others. Rather, it is to treat others in a fair and equitable way and to be honest in all of our dealings. Such is the basic standard to which I hope we are each committed. This is the basic standard contained in the Ten Commandments, and it is fundamental to the Lord’s plan for us.
During the Savior’s mortal ministry, He introduced his followers to a second or higher standard for their relationships and interactions. He taught that standard in the Sermon on the Mount, and it is often referred to as the golden rule. As stated in Matthew, chapter seven, “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” (Matthew 7:12).
According to this second or higher level of behavior, we treat others well because that is how we hope they will treat us. This is the notion of reciprocity often found in legal contracts or what is known as a quid pro quo: we give something of value in order to receive something of value. Clearly, by following the golden rule, we meet the first standard because we do not seek gain at the expense of another. We treat others justly and with respect, just as we would want to be treated. We are especially prone to think of applying this standard in our relationship with friends, family members, and close neighbors. They tend to be those we love and with whom we hope to perpetuate long-lasting relationships. They are also most often those to whom we feel a sense of duty. But we may not always think of this standard with respect to those we don’t know – the complete stranger.
Within the Church we often think of our responsibilities as a home teacher or visiting teacher and our responsibilities as a member of a Relief Society or a Priesthood Quorum in terms of this standard. We willingly serve those we’ve been asked to serve both because of a sense of duty but also because we love them and want to follow our Savior’s counsel. This service is often temporal in nature but can also involve giving counsel or Priesthood blessings as appropriate and when invited to do so.
The third level or standard I would like to introduce as part of this framework is one the Savior set for those who were converted to His doctrine: “I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect” (3 Nephi 12:48). Or as taught to his twelve disciples in the new world, “What manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Nephi 27:27). This is clearly a much higher standard than either of the other two.
According to this standard, we should not only avoid harming others in all we do, but we should go out of our way to help them, even when we don’t know them or when we may consider them antagonistic or even our enemy. This is what the Apostle Paul refers to as “a more excellent way” (1 Corinthians 12:31). It is treating others with “charity … the pure love of Christ” (Moroni 7:47). Such a standard causes us to provide loving support and assistance – both temporal and spiritual – not only when they ask for it and seek it but even when they don’t.
These three levels or standards – first, honesty in all our dealings; second, treating others as we would want to be treated; and third, helping others as the Savior would, expecting no consideration in return – can provide a guide for our relationships and interactions with all those with whom we come in contact, both here on this campus and throughout our lives in the future. One way to think of these three levels or standards is to apply the terminology used by Elder Oaks in a Conference talk. There, he reminded us of the concept of “Good, Better and Best.”1 We can think of these three levels in the same way: honesty in our dealings is good, applying the golden rule is even better, but striving to become like the Savior in both our motivations and our behaviors is best.
Applying the Framework at BYU-Hawaii
In the time we have remaining, I would like to discuss some of the practical realities as to what these might mean in a setting like that of BYU–Hawaii. That is, how would we think and act in accordance with each of these standards? Let me begin by returning to the first level or standard – treating people fairly and honestly in all of our dealings. I doubt that any of us would get involved in cat burglary, identity theft, or trafficking in illegal drugs. But what about some of the challenges we might face of coveting the work of another, seeking to gain what is not rightfully ours, or taking advantage in a transaction where we have a valuable piece of information that has been withheld from the other party? Let me use some specific examples that come from my years of experience in both learning and working in various academic environments.
When I was in junior high school, I took a shop class where we would leave our written assignments in a box on the teacher’s desk. He would then grade and return them to that box the next day. One day, I turned in a major assignment, but the next day, my paper was not in the box with the other papers. When I asked the teacher about it, he said that maybe I had not turned it in. I assured him that I had, so he suggested that we look carefully at the papers still in the box. We discovered that another student had taken my paper (which was done in pencil), erased my name, and put his own name on it.
While I doubt that any of you would contemplate such a theft on this campus, what about other forms of cheating? Any time a student seeks gain or credit without having done the work or at the expense of other students who have done the work, he or she is failing to meet this first standard of being honest and fair in all of our dealings. Given recent articles reporting widespread cheating on campuses around the world, it is clear that many are falling prey to Satan’s temptation to “lie a little, cheat a little, and dig a pit for thy neighbor,” thus falling short of the Lord’s basic standard for honest interactions with others.
Let me ask a few rhetorical questions by way of further example. Many of you have a part time job either on campus or at the PCC where you were hired at a specific hourly rate to perform certain work to the best of your abilities. Are you conscientious in giving an honest hour of work for an hour of pay? Or do you occasionally shortchange your employer by not doing the work or not doing it to the best of your ability and to the specifications that have been set for that work?
My final example is a personal one that occurred in my second year as a professor. I had worked closely with a colleague on research the prior year at a different institution. Our combined efforts had led to the publication of several articles and a book. My colleague had also developed a set of computer programs implementing the work we had been doing. During that second year, he and I taught an executive seminar as part of our consulting work. Unfortunately, my colleague had a “buyer beware” attitude, and when one of the participants asked my colleague if the computer programs were included in the cost of the seminar, he answered yes, saying that he would mail them out later.
Subsequently, my colleague decided that the programs were too valuable to include in the price of the seminar. Although I wasn’t aware he’d decided that, that same seminar participant called an associate dean at my university and complained. The associate dean asked me about it, and needless to say, I was both shocked and embarrassed. With my colleague’s reluctant permission, I sent a copy of the programs to that participant, but more importantly, I decided life was too short to do consulting work with someone who had a different standard than I had, and I never did another seminar with that colleague.
Each of us here on this campus has the opportunity to put into practice our own standard regarding all aspects of dealing justly and honestly with others. Every day, we face circumstances where we might be tempted to cut corners, to seek gain for something we have not earned, or to take advantage of someone else in our relationship with them. To help us with such situations, our prophets have seen fit to establish an honor code for our campus and throughout CES. One of the primary purposes of that honor code is to help us learn the habits that will make our actions and behaviors consistent with being “totally honest in our dealings with others.” Thus while the Honor Code singles out academic honesty, residential living, ecclesiastical worthiness, and dress and grooming, in its totality, it is about this first level or standard of behavior, becoming “our brother’s keeper,” and being honest in all of our dealings.
Let me turn now to the second level or standard, of living according to the golden rule – treating others as we would have them treat us. I mentioned earlier that this standard is often observed in practice as we carry out our assignments as home teachers or visiting teachers or as we fulfill our duties as part of a Relief Society or Priesthood Quorum. What a blessing it is to have all of our students attending either a Young Single Adult Ward or attending the Married Student Stake here on campus. Such settings provide ample opportunity to put into practice the Savior’s admonition to do unto others as we would have them do unto us.
On this campus, we are also blessed with many opportunities to serve such as those associated with the BYUHSA-organized “Stop and Serve” or the island-wide effort “Mormon Helping Hands.” We indeed belong to a church that cares for others in need and strives to give all of us the opportunity to practice the golden rule.
However, there are also ample opportunities to assist individual students, not as part of our church callings or other organized programs, but simply because they need our help and we are there. I am grateful to hear of so many who serve tirelessly on this campus, whether it is in providing gift baskets for new arrivals in need, offering a ride to an appointment, or sharing a word of encouragement or congratulations. So many go the extra mile in helping individual students establish successful study habits, learn new materials, and accomplish things they had never imagined possible. Indeed, I’m always impressed by the many instances where one member of our “ohana” receives a prompting and takes action to lighten the burden of another. Thank you for all you do in that regard.
However, we also need to make sure that our efforts to treat others as we would want to be treated are not at odds with the first level or standard of being honest in all of our dealings. How do we respond when a good friend asks if they can copy our paper or asks us to share test questions before they go to the testing center? Or how do we respond when someone without a valid driver’s license or without insurance asks to borrow our vehicle? Or what about someone who asks us to “cover for them” while they leave work for a few minutes without clocking out?
These moments provide much needed and appropriate teaching opportunities and should not lead to a violation of the standard of honesty, justified by the rationalization “I’m helping a friend” or “I’m following the golden rule.” This is not what the Savior had in mind when he gave us this second standard for our actions and behaviors. Rather, like Nephi, we should “exhort them with all the energies of [our] soul, and with all the faculty which [we] possess, that they would …. remember to keep his commandments always and in all things” (1 Nephi 15:25).
Let me now turn to the third level or standard, that of exercising charity and the pure love of Christ with the desire of becoming like Him. While this is indeed a very high standard, it is the one outlined in the parable of the Good Samaritan found in the tenth chapter of Luke. This parable was given in answer to the question “Who is my neighbor?” In the parable, a certain traveler (much like each of us) leaves Jerusalem and travels down to Jericho. On the way, he falls prey to thieves, who beat him and leave him to die. Like the Savior does for us, the Good Samaritan binds the traveler’s wounds, does what the traveler cannot do for himself, and transports him to an inn. There, he pays the costs and agrees to pay more if needed. The Savior then concludes this parable with the admonition to “go and do thou likewise” (Luke 10:37).
The Savior also taught that we should “love [our] enemies, bless them that curse [us], do good to them that hate [us], and pray for them who despitefully use [us] and persecute [us]” (3 Nephi 12:44). If that is how we should treat our enemies, we cannot do anything less for those we know and love – our family, friends and close neighbors. As I have sought to understand this higher standard, I have been reminded of the oft-repeated admonition of parents: “Choose your friends wisely.”
Loving parents desire friends for their children who will be an influence for good. This is also what a mission president means when he charges each mission leader, senior companion and trainer to be a “good companion.” And I believe it is in part what the Savior intends when He invites us to be a part of His work and to be “Saviors on Mount Zion.” Let me illustrate with a situation that I’ve recently become aware of here at BYU–Hawaii.
A group of sisters in an off-campus apartment became close friends as they went to church together, often prayed together, and supported each other through the ups and downs of being young adults away from home. A few months ago, some of these sisters became concerned about one of their roommates, whom I’ll refer to as Kathy. Kathy and her boyfriend were seeing each other more and more, and she began to come home later and later. Her dear friends expressed their fear to her that maybe things were getting out of hand. But Kathy became defensive and assured them that all was well and that she could take care of herself.
Still her sisters feared for her. Then, they noted that the boy was staying in their apartment past curfew, and he had become casual about going in and out of her room. They lovingly reminded Kathy of the danger, but it seemed their dear sister was becoming blind to the fact that standards were being overlooked. Her friends feared for Kathy’s eternal welfare.
Soon Kathy's roommates decided that help was needed. Even though they knew their friendship might be at risk, they were not willing to watch Kathy slip any closer to losing everything. They went to their bishop and to the Office of Honor, believing that an immediate rescue was needed.
Kathy was deeply offended and, at first, was unwilling to cooperate with those at the university or with her bishop who wanted to help her. She was put on probation by her counselor at the Office of Honor and told that she would not be able to continue at BYU–Hawaii if she did not comply with the residential living standards in the Honor Code. The desire of her counselor was to gain her attention and demonstrate to her how dangerous her behavior was becoming. Her bishop also helped her see that she was playing with fire. Thankfully, Kathy humbled herself and put strict rules in place in her life. Before long, she was grateful to her roommates, to her Bishop, and even to the Office of Honor for loving her and helping her open her eyes to imminent danger.
I would invite each of you to think about this example and ask yourself, “Am I a true friend, the kind faithful parents would wish for their son or daughter here at BYU¬–Hawaii?” Such a standard means that you assist roommates, friends, and colleagues with sound advice and counsel even when they don’t seem to want it. It might be connected to your observation that someone has attempted to cheat or is looking to violate one or more aspects of the Honor Code. It might involve something as simple as inviting your roommate to consider the dress and grooming standards before they leave your room “not in standard.” Or it might be something as serious as behavior that is headed toward a major moral transgression. I know that offering loving, constructive criticism to peers is undoubtedly one of the hardest things we do in interpersonal relationships. But, if you love them, as the Savior does, you will do it for them. You will not ignore it, look the other way, or simply remain frustrated in silence.2
The standard the Lord has for each of us is one of action, communication and love as expressed by the following verse: “every man seeking the interest of his neighbor and doing all things with an eye single to the glory of God” (D&C 82:19). Please remember, one of the primary purposes of this campus is to help us meet the Lord’s admonition that “Zion must increase in beauty and in Holiness,” and I would invite each of us to contribute more earnestly and diligently to that goal – both for ourselves and for all of those we serve and learn with on this campus.
Furthermore, while the Lord expects us to be totally honest in all of our dealings and to provide temporal help to others as needed, He is even more concerned about our providing spiritual help and assistance whenever and wherever there is the both opportunity and/or the need to do so. Remember, “Perfect love casteth out fear” (1 John 4:18) and that goes for speaking up and being a “good friend” whether or not the person asks for that help. As the Apostle Paul taught, we should “be…an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, [and] in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).
May we each recommit to “pray always, that [we] may come off conqueror; yea that [we] may conquer Satan, and that [we] can escape the hand of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work” (D&C 10:5). And then may we seek to improve our ability to deal honestly and justly in all we do, to treat others as we would have them treat us, and to strive daily to become more like the Savior by showing charity to all. I testify that by so doing, we are joining our Heavenly Father and His Son in their work and their glory, helping ourselves and others to be more like them. Such is my hope and prayer for each of us here on this campus, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
1 Oaks, Dallin H. "Good, Better, Best," Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2007, 107.
2 See Matthew 18:15-17.